The Drivel Page

In which the drivel ran dry.

2011-05-15T00:06:00.005-04:00

I graduated college yesterday with all the pomp and circumstance which the situation warrants. I usually can't help but roll my eyes over people who do things like, for instance, try to quote philosophers or post song lyrics in their Facebook statuses to try to convey how significant such a day is to them. I know there's importance in days like these. I studied books. I get symbols. But at the same time, there's a very cynical side of me that sits on the sidelines and says, rather drily, that symbols are only important because we say so.

But tonight, after having spent my first lovely, post-graduate day lolling around with my family, I took some white wine and some tea into a very hot bathtub and mulled things over. I started this journal (and I say journal because the word blog, while perhaps more accurate, is still a little repulsive to me) four years ago at the very start of this stage of life, the stage which I am now transitioning out of. I was a very sad person then, and I can see that in my own text. Or, rather, I can see it in between my own text. That's the thing about your own writing - only you know what you chose not to say along with what you did. It leaps out at me, at least, what I didn't say. Whether I'm inclined to general melancholy or whether it's a thing forced upon me is a train of philosophy I've pondered over a lot in my life, but I took two more years after the start of this journal just to wallow in that sadness. I had moved to a new place, but old things weighed me down so heavily that I might as well have stood still.

Thankfully, even that prolonged state of unhappiness couldn't sustain itself much longer than it did, and little rays of thought peeked through that said, If you're unhappy, what are you going to do about it? I wasn't trying, and as a very wise man once wrote, "Cause and effect, buddy, cause and effect. The only thing you can do now, the only religious thing you can do, is act. Act for God, if you want to — be God's actress, if you want to. What could be prettier? You can at least try to, if you want to — there's nothing wrong in trying." So I did. I tried to put myself in positions that were different, perhaps uncomfortable at first but gradually becoming better and better, and slowly slowly my wheels started revolving in the other direction. The state of sadness did not go away in a puff of smoke. That would be childish to think. But I took a hard look at myself, finally, and realized that so much of its foundation was in the fact that I was holding on to that sadness with clenched fists, yet still lamenting the fact that I did so. And - what's to lose? - I tried to let it go. In those last two years I went places and met people and did things, big and small, huge and trivial, that were so good for me. I made most of the prerequisite college mistakes in those next two years, I had fun, I was frustrated, I was smart and I was an idiot, just like everyone else. And just like everyone, I finally grew up, however many steps behind I was. But what does that matter? I did it.

Like I said, I naturally roll my eyes when people try to make symbols out of calendar events, but at the same time I feel the same gravitational pull to do the same. I did it yesterday. I went up on stage, shook hands with a few officials, got a gold cord. As I walked back to my seat, I looked down at the gold cord and then around at the faces and declared it had been good. That's making a symbol of it, in its way. So I'll do it one more time. While I believe it was Lisa who at one time dubbed this place a "drivel page," it was my own haphazard choice that decided on the URL. Ghwerig was a random choice at the time; I tend to choose names or fixtures from stories I like, and I have no recollection of attaching any significance to this one. The more I mulled it over in the bath tonight, though, the more appropriate it seemed. Ghwerig was a little troll who lived in darkness and worked the same treasure over and over. I might not have thought so then, but that was something like who I was when I started this journal. I'd rather not be attached to that image anymore, though, so I'm leaving it behind. This journal will stay intact, but I'll be posting here from now on, a new page attached to the same account, with a URL equally chosen at random as I mentally perused images from stories I'd recently read and liked. Again, it doesn't have any particular significance, but maybe it will find one in four, five, six years' time. That page will be identical to this one in nearly every way. It'll be the same old me, same old stuff. I'm rolling my own eyes at myself a bit here, but I'll afford myself this one little symbol and jump ship. If you've stuck with me, I thank you. It really does mean more than I can say that anyone cares to read anything I write. Hope to see you over there, too.

And with that, we leap!

Let's put the baby up for adoption

2011-05-10T00:30:00.008-04:00

--My dad works in a very sad line of work, but because of what he does and where he does it he occasionally crosses paths with famous people. (My dad deals high-end cocaine is what I'm trying to say.) He told me about one person that he'd met recently that left me ragingly jealous, and I am not the kind of person who wants to meet many famous people. I'm still sort of stunned that he got to talk to this person face to face. I tried to drag details out of him but he refused because of violations of yada yada yada. That just sent my imagination spinning. Like, this person plus my dad - what could they have talked about? I choose to believe they spent their brief encounter talking about me. (Also, I was kidding about the cocaine. Or was I?)

--The Waugh novel I'm reading is called Put Out More Flags and I'm really liking it. It's overall a pleasant read with sudden jumps into gorgeous writing, hilarity, or both. I'm still not quite sure why, but these lines had me giggling uncontrollably earlier:

"Darling, how very nice. Have you come to stay?"
"Yes, Mother said you were alone."
"I don't know where we'll put you. Things are very odd here. You haven't brought anyone else, have you?" It was one of Freddy's chief complaints that Basil usually came not only uninvited but attended by undesirable friends.
"No, no one. There isn't anyone nowadays. I've come to write a book."
"Oh, Basil. I am sorry. Is it as bad as that?"

There was a little explanation of that comment afterward which dampened the funny a bit, but when I first read it I had to stop there and just chuckle. As if wanting to write a book indicates some sort of deep crisis.

--My take-home finals have been excruciating. I finished one yesterday which was, I think, the worst thing I have ever handed in, and the one I'm currently working (not very hard) on is equally putrid. I can only talk about medieval recipes for broth for so long before I resort to writing a blog entry. Hope to finish that one tomorrow so I can just relax before graduation. Fun fact, though, those pies with live birds in them that are in all the nursery rhymes? Those were real things! And I have vague medieval directions in Italian on how to make them, if anyone's interested, as well as a recipe on how to make a gelatin with a live fish inside. (Do you see why I cannot focus on this thing?)

--I ran out of shampoo and soap with, like, ten days left here on campus, but my sister was leaving so she gave me everything she had left over. Now, with the help of these lady products, my roots are awakened, my hair is bouncing and full of volume and my armpits smell like pomegranates.

--I wonder at what age it will no longer be weird to see pictures on Facebook of my high school classmates having babies and getting married. Most of them are doing it in that order, too. Ah, the 21st century. In order to procrastinate, I like to open one picture of all of them in a tab and have a mini cutest baby pageant on my computer. Usually there's no winner because I went to high school with lots of ugly people. (Totally kidding. Well. Yeah. Whatever.)

--I went to catch up on Glee with a few of my friends yesterday and this girl who's sort of a tag-along to this group was also in the room, alternately crying hysterically and wringing her hands. No one addressed it and everyone else continued to watch and comment on Glee as if nothing out of the ordinary were happening. I still have no idea what that was all about. It was ridiculously uncomfortable and I can't wait for details.

--I sold back two textbooks (well, not really, but they were used in a class) and received a grand total of $3 for them. I am so poor right now that that sum makes a significant addition to my bank account.

--I don't like that all these things start with "I."

--There is (that's better!) a 24/7 diner out here that I frequent way too much, because it's perfect food for the times before, during and after drinking (but especially that last one). I have literally been there at every possible hour and probably every day of the week, and this wonderfully pleasant little Hispanic man is always there bussing tables. I want to know - do you sleep, sir? Do you live at this diner?

--I (ah!) have been entertaining thoughts about making a YouTube channel for funny videos of my dog. I am becoming one of those people. But I have lots of them. All I do when I'm home is lay around and force my dog into doing her short list of tricks in front of my computer while I play classical music in the background. The world needs more of that, right?

Take a piece of raw vegetable and hold it to your breast

2011-05-07T12:02:00.003-04:00

--My sister and I met up yesterday to get a Mothers' Day present. We both vowed to spend $10 each, maximum, and we both have stuff to do, since it's finals week, so we wanted it to be quick. We ended up spending $40 we don't have, going out to a ridiculously long and disgustingly high-calorie lunch (the waitress was like, "Really? Cake and a milkshake? Together?"), and walking probably five miles in the process. I think we were out for like six hours. It was nice.

--Two encounters with crazies:

1. I went and did my last movie review for the school paper last week. It was for the movie "Prom," and I was literally the only person in the theater for the entire thing. I kept looking around expecting the theater to shut the movie off, since I did not pay for the movie and I was alone. While this was embarrassing, during my brief stint in movie reviews, I found this type of movie-watching experience to be the ground most fertile for fun, easy reviews. Anyway, after the movie was over I sat in the lobby reading The Double and waiting for my friend to finish her movie. All of a sudden this crazy man at another table started reading everything on the cover of my book in an increasingly loud voice. At the end he was literally yelling, "TRANSLATED BY RICHARD PEVEAR AND LARISSA VOLOKHONSKY." I made the mistake of making confused eye contact with this man, which launched him into what he must have thought was a conversation but was actually a one-sided dialogue about his entire life. He's in college now and that's so hard when you're older and plus he had the discipline of the military for fourteen years and what's he gonna do without that now but his son got a football scholarship to Arizona and that's great because he's had hardships and it's gonna be so scary to get into the workforce for real for the first time and gosh how do you go about making new friends in a new place when you're old because you know it's not easy to approach people and you're not fit and you can't eat anything you want like when you're young. I made "Uh..." noises at intervals while frantically checking if my friend had come out of the movie yet. At one point I kind of clutched my book to my chest and he begged (BEGGED) to know what it was about, so I gave him a sketchy outline and he screamed, "OH, I SAW THAT MOVIE! IT WAS EXCELLENT!" (I don't think that anyone has ever made that book into a movie.) When I finally got up to leave he did not break his sentence until I was in arm's reach, at which point he frantically pumped my hand and said, "So nice to meet you. You are a wonderful young man." So, well, that was nice, at least.

2. I was full of nervous energy after my Italian final on the last day of classes - it was one of those oral-style ones like in Italy and those freak me out, so I walked into town afterward to burn off a little energy. As I was walking back to campus a second crazy dressed in khaki pants and no shirt (that's always a bad sign, right?) stopped me and said, "Hello sir. I have something to say to you." Uh oh. "Once I fought the KKK," he said. "You know what you've got to think when you fight the KKK?" "What?" I said. I was anticipating him pulling out a switchblade or something. But he said, "They're just sheets. Just sheets!" There's something profound in that, I think.

--Last Sunday morning I went on a hike at 4 AM to the top of a mountain in order to watch the sunrise. It was lovely. I guess I've never really seen a sunrise, or if I have I wasn't paying attention. There's a point where you can actively see the disc of the sun come up over the horizon. I never really knew that.

--Rebecca Soni and Jessica Hardy dueled out an awesome 100 breast at Brazilian Nationals the other day. So nice to see. Hardy was just recently cleared to be eligible for London, so it's great that she hadn't lost her fire in that horrible wait period. Incredible mental toughness. Good for her. If they keep this up, US could go 1-2 at the Olympics. Plus she posted an in-season top-ranked time in the 50 breast. She's so good at that event. I kind of doubt if she'll ever hit her 100 world record again, but she could do very well at Worlds in the 50, if she's allowed to swim it. The selection for that one is vague, though, so she might not actually do it.

--The thesis, which I have loathed from start to finish, is done and the manuscript is submitted. My last English paper as an undergraduate was also the first time I ever wrote a paper without reading the book. I got an A. So basically that means my education was a success.I have two more finals to finish on my own time and I'm done. Summer is approaching and I'm actually excited about it. I'm returning to my lifeguard job. Usually at that place, returning as a post-grad is a source of deep shame and summer-long derision, but I just learned last week that I will have a job come September, so I can return with my head held high. I am actually rather excited to chat with the pool moms about it as they pass my desk. They're all such supportive ladies.

--I have gotten so much reading done lately. This is nice, because I've also been doing a lot of drinking, and those two things don't often mesh well in my life. I picked up another Waugh novel last night. I liked but didn't love Brideshead Revisited, but his books are all published in these lovely pastel paperbacks that I envision looking splendid all lined up on my bookshelf. Annoyingly expensive, though.

--I made a Twitter. I do not plan on writing in it, just using it to check other people's. So far this has sucked the fun out of checking other people's Twitters. It's too easy now.

99-question survey

2011-04-09T17:08:00.008-04:00

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

"At home the phone rang but Mary let the machine pick it..." (Like Life, Lorrie Moore)

or, alternatively, "...che 'in alcuni lochi d'Italia ne son molto grossi, e in Milano as-..." Gastronomy textbook.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

The wall.

3. Before you started this survey, what were you doing?

I've been laying around procrastinating for a couple hours now.

4. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Chelsea Handler

5. Without looking, guess what time it is

6:04

6. Now what time is it really?

6:00

7. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Music. And outside.

8. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Few hours ago.

9. Did you dream last night?

I did and I woke up thinking about it, but I lost it.

10. Do you remember your dreams?

Not too often.

11. When did you last laugh?

Few hours ago.

12. Do you remember why / at what?

Yeah.

13. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Couple posters.

14. Seen anything weird lately?

I saw two snakes today.

15. What do you think of this quiz?

So far so good, though that question indicates a bit of insecurity to me.

16. What is the last film you saw?

Hanna

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

I don't know. Places start to feel the same after a while, I think.

18. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

A house and two dogs, right away.

19. Tell me something about you that most people don't know.

The two happiest times that I can think of at my life were at a high school swim meet and the day I went to Pisa. The first one was a sort of charged, mission-accomplished elation and the second was the most relaxed and content I've ever felt. I think about those days a lot.

20. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

I don't know if I'd change anything. That's a lot of pressure.

21. Do you like to dance?

No.

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yeah.

23. Does your name make any interesting anagrams?

No, unfortunately. I just tried it on a website and there's always a spare letter.

24. Who made the last incoming call on your phone?

Mom.

25. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

Music.

26. Last time you swam in a pool?

Week ago.

27. Type of music you like most?

Good mix.

28. Type of music you dislike most?

There isn't a particular type I don't like. I could probably find something to like in every kind of music.

29. Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah. Decembrists. "The Perfect Crime #2"

30. What color is your bedroom carpet?

It's like... gray, I guess? That neutral whitish carpet color. It's so dirty, though.

31. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?

About my home home? Uh... I would make the bathtub bigger.

32. What was the last thing you bought?

A t-shirt.

33. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?

No. No desire to, either.

34. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?

Absolutely.

35. Do you have a garden?

No.

36. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?

I know the standard singing part, but there are other lyrics to it that I don't know.

37. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?

SHUT IT OFF!

38. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?

I'd probably pick Tina Fey. Girl seems like she likes to eat shamelessly, like I do.

39. Who sent the last text message you received?

Zoe.

40. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Barnes and Noble.

41. What time is bed time?

It changes every day. Try to get in bed before midnight.

42. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?

No.

43. How many tattoos do you have?

None.

44. If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one?

I've thought about it, but I don't think I ever would.

45. What did you do for your last birthday?

Got hammered and yelled at my mom.

46. Do you carry a donor card?

Not yet.

47. Who was the last person you ate with?

Italian class on top of a mountain with four hawks swirling just overhead. That was cool.

48. Is the glass half empty or half full?

Are you filling it or emptying it? I really dislike that dichotomy. It's so stupid. Is anyone that black and white?

49. What's the farthest-away place you've been?

Italy.

50. When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?

Summer.

51. Have you ever won a trophy?

Yeah. Everyone gets on these days, though.

52. Are you a good cook?

No. I can bake okay, though.

53. Do you know how to pump your own gas?

Yeah, I'm not that functionally challenged.

54. If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?

David Eddings, just to say thanks. I always meant to write him a letter while he was alive, but I missed my chance. I regret that, a little bit.

55. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?

No.

56. Do you touch-type?

What does that mean? Without looking? Yeah.

57. What's under your bed?

Storage bins!

58. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No. I think love is too complicated for one glance.

59. Think fast, what do you like right now?

The first thing that came to mind was porn. So...

60. Where were you on Valentine's day?

Here.

61. What time do you get up?

Either 6:40, 7, or 9. Almost never later.

62. What was the name of your first pet?

Oreo.

63. Who is the second to last person to call you?

One of the many Maggies in my life.

64. Is there anything going on this weekend?

I bought a wife-beater for tonight. That means yes.

65. How are you feeling right now?

Tired and I have to pee.

66. What do you think about the most?

Uh... That's a hard question. I guess stories. I'm always making up stories in my head.

67. What time do you get up in the morning?

Didn't we already do this one?

68. If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?

I would tell my parents right away.

69. Who would you tell first?

My parents.

70. What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema?
Hanna. It was bad.

71. Do you sing in the shower?

No.

72. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Barnes and Noble, maybe. I don't have a credit card, though...

73. What do you do most when you are bored?

I waste time on the computer or read.

74. What do you do for a living?

I'm a student.

75. Do you love your job?

If that counts as a job, sometimes.

76. What did you want to be when you grew up?

I never had an answer for that, and I still don't.

77. If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?

I can't even answer this. Don't ask me job questions anymore, survey.

78. Which came first the chicken or the egg?

Evolutionarily speaking, probably the egg.

79. How many keys on your key ring?

One.

80. Where would you retire to?

I don't know. That's kind of a sad question, in a way. It's like, "Where would you spend the last years before you die?"

81. What kind of car do you drive?

The orange one...

82. What are your best physical features?

Probably my teeth.

83. What are your best characteristics?

I really like listening to people's stories. I like hearing people talk.

84. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?

Somewhere in America. I want to see more of America.

85. What kind of books do you like to read?

Mostly fiction, but all kinds.

86. What is your favorite time of the day?

No particular preference.

87. Where did you grow up?

Haverhill.

88. How far away from your birthplace do you live now?

100 miles exactly.

89. What are you reading now?

Like Life, Lorrie Moore.

90. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Both. Don't do well in the afternoon.

91. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No.

92. Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?

Yup.

93. Do you have pets?

Yes and I miss her terribly. I saw a parade of dogs when I went hiking today and it made me miss her.

94. How many rings before you answer the phone?

A few. Depends on who's calling.

95. What is your best childhood memory?

Not really specific, but I look back fondly on the period when I had a tight group of friends and we all passed books around to each other. I don't have a really tight group of friends anymore, and none of my friends read.

96. What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?

I've been a lifeguard for years now. I have a really dumb quasi-job right now. I can't even explain it. I'm paid in food and don't really have to do anything. So I don't feel like that counts.

97. What is most important in life?

To keep moving forward and don't waste too much time looking back.

98. What Inspires You?

People who are great at something. Whatever it is. And bouncing back from bad times. Especially when one person hits both those points.

99. Do you believe in an afterlife?

No. And I hope there isn't. I don't believe in anything, religiously speaking, but if I had to choose, I would want there to be reincarnation. Though that, I think, would be impossible, if you assume that there is a finite number of souls and the number of living things is continually increasing. Unless you also assumed that the number of souls is significantly larger than the largest possible number of living things that could be and that there was some sort of limbo-space in which the souls not currently in living form existed while they waited. And such a space could be termed an afterlife, I guess, so that was just a circular way of ruining what I started with.

Folding Socks With Tchaikovsky

2011-04-08T11:12:00.005-04:00

--Weird things I have heard lately:

1. In the stairwell: "Do you know how tired you are after a murder?"

2. On the bus: Two girls discussing a new piercing. "I was nervous to get it at first, but then I saw another guy convincing a girl not to get her - " she pointed her finger downward and made a swirling motion here " - pierced, so I knew they weren't just in it for the money." The other girl said, "Oh, that's so great."

3. At the dining hall: "But the CHILDREN! Why do they have to kill the CHILDREN!" I actually doubled back and put more sprinkles on my ice cream to learn more about this. I still had no idea what they were talking about. I assumed it was child soldiers but I'm not even sure if they were talking about humans or animals.

4. In the English building: "I'm definitely attached to the chair but I'm willing to change."

5. At Newbury Comics: "I don't want to do the Day of Silence but I'm afraid the whole school will hate me and call me a gay-hater." Like, really? What school do you go to, friend? This was in Northampton, though, so I suppose it's the only place on Earth where you'd hear that sentence.

--I would like to make a public denunciation of the Schick Xtreme3. I used to use them before the Schick Quattro came into my life, and they were fine. I had to revert back to them because the bulk-sized packs of the Quattro were not available last time I was in need. I don't know what Schick has done to ruin these razors since I last used them, but I look like a bloody scabby ridiculous mess all the time now. Unfortunately I bought thirty of them so I have a while to go before I see this out.

--Speaking of, I just cut my nostril open while shaving. I don't know why the razor was even in the vicinity of my nostril.

--When my federal tax return came in I decided to get Netflix, and oh my gosh what was I waiting for. I wish every form of entertainment had this type of thing. Books and music and stuff. They just mail it to you! What a concept! I have wasted hours pouring over movies and so far have figured out what the big fuss over River Phoenix was.

--I am donating blood today. This is a big deal. I wouldn't say I'm really afraid of much, but I definitely have anxiety over certain things, and blood is one. Not just the blood, not even the needle, but the fact of seeing my blood outside my body really messes with me psychologically. But it's such a good, easy thing to do and they have blood drives all the time here and, I mean, I haven't got much time left on campus. My overprotective friend who's going with me has been texting me reassurances and tips ("Drink lots of water! It makes your veins easier to find!"), which are probably not necessary. There is a free t-shirt involved so that will likely overcome my anxiety.

--Courtney went home on Biggest Loser. I was rather devastated about this. I think seeing her go under 200 pounds would have been one of the happiest days of my life.

--I need a good short story collection right now. I'm trying to read a short Steinbeck novel but it's so boring and on-the-nose, politically. I'm in the mood for short stories but all I have is Chekhov and the translation I have uses distractingly excessive punctuation. I don't know if that makes it more authentically Russian or something, but seeing, for instance, "Get out!!" in a book not written by Dan Brown really takes me out of the story.

--I'm seeing Hanna later today. I'm not terribly excited about it because I hate that spelling of the name and, honestly, it looks to me like it could be really stupid. But I'm rather invested in Saorise Ronan's career. If she doesn't go crazy she could be a big deal in the future, I think.

--I had one of those Saturday nights last weekend. I woke up with a basketball in my bed and I have no idea where it came from or why I have it. But I apparently drew a giant smiley face on it in blue marker.

GUILTY PLEASURES

2011-03-22T21:14:00.005-04:00

Procrastinating! Save me from myself! As a foreword, I don't think anyone should feel guilt about liking something personal. But if I didn't feel that way, here are my answers:

CD I have in my car that I roll up the windows to listen to:

Probably the soundtrack to Wicked, though "Defying Gravity" is - or was, not so much anymore - in such high rotation that it probably transcends embarrassment. I also have a Taylor Swift CD, but I really only like "You Belong With Me."

Song on your iPod you wouldn't want anyone to see:

There are so many, but I'd say "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan is the worst. "Party in the USA" is pretty bad too. I got both of those as a joke at first, but "Party in the USA" quickly became not a joke.

Book I read flat so no one could see the title:

I can't think of a time when I've ever done this. I find that people tend to approach you more readily if you're reading something blatantly inappropriate to your age/gender/race in public, which I appreciate. I actually made a semi-friend my freshman year by reading Sense and Sensibility with an awful cover in class one day.

Crappiest song ever sung at karaoke:

I've never done proper karaoke. The only time was in Italy and the mic was kind of passed around in the crowd, so it wasn't just me. But the people I went with liked to do a lot of Bon Jovi. "Livin' on a Prayer" and stuff. We did "Sarà perché ti amo" one night, and my contribution was pretty pathetic. I was drunk and only kind of know the words. You can imagine how that went.

Bad movie I watch repeatedly:

I own the Brady Bunch movies and watch them over and over, though I think those are genuinely hilarious. I remember once there was a Lifetime movie about internet porn addiction that I watched, like, three times because it was so bad in a good way. (Found it.)

Article of clothing I love though I know it’s wrong:

I wear gym socks with boat shoes. It looks ridiculous but whatever, it's more comfortable for me that way. I don't own any, but if someone bought me some whitey-tighties I'd probably rock those, too.

What I order at the bar when no one is listening:

I don't have an answer for this one. When I started drinking and didn't know what I was doing I'd just say, "Yeah, I'll have what she ordered," which ended up with some questionable drinks. Now, though, if it were up to me I'd just do shots and drink water all night. I don't really understand the point of drinking alcohol (except wine and maaaybe beer) unless you intend to get drunk. (That sounds like an alcoholic's answer, doesn't it?) I did order Old Speckled Hen a few weeks ago, which was embarrassing because it's such a stupid name.

Fast food item I adore:

Where do I start? I don't eat much fast food anymore but back in my carefree high school days? McChickens were up there. Anything at Taco Bell was good because it was cheap. KFC. Is Boston Market fast food?

Trashy TV Show:

I don't know if this really qualifies but I still find myself sucked in when I watch the evangelical Christian shows. I just love them. I really find Joyce Meyer inspirational. I watch her and wish so badly that I could live with that attitude. Also, anything about fat people losing weight, especially when they're losing 100+ pounds, is dream TV for me. I regularly find myself tearing up over The Biggest Loser. I'm just so proud of them. Related, anything about eating disorders, weird eating, food, cooking, etc. Any E! Investigates but especially the one about serial killers. I've seen that at least 10 times. Almost anything about serial killers, actually, especially the Manson family and the BTK Killer. Uh, the new Degrassi when I'm home. All this basically happens at home. I really don't watch TV at school because it doesn't have that nifty scroll-through-the-channels-while-you-watch-something-else box here.

Video Games?

I freely admit that I still play Pokemon. I break it out probably once a year and have since I was nine. It's therapeutic. You cannot be bad at that game and as long as you finish you are a CHAMPION. Also, I am too invested in Dragon Age and still get a little giddy whenever a new Zelda comes out.

Women's DI NCAAs Day Three

2011-03-20T00:07:00.004-04:00

1. 1650 freestyle: Wendy Trott took her third title in a row for Georgia in 15:40. As much as I was rooting for Meredith Budner, consistency is also nice. Budner, though, damn. Apparently she hadn't gone under five minutes in the 500 before college, and now she's graduating with a 4:34 and a 15:44. Just goes to show, the right talent and the right program can take you places. Hayley Anderson out of USC took third. Budner was really tough, though. Took it out hard, lulled in the middle and fought back for second at the end. 1650's always a good one to watch, tactically speaking.

2. 200 backstroke: I really wanted Elizabeth Beisel to win this one. She seemed a little down in her interviews. But Maggie Meyer of Wisconsin took it in a really gutsy swim. Took it out really hard and held on to win in 1:50.76. Dominique Bouchard of Missouri took second in 1:51.54, with Beisel checking in third at 1:51.60. They were really closing on Meyer hard at the end, but they ran out of room. Oh well. There's always next year for Beisel, and it is good to see a win from one of the non-big name programs. (And another one getting second place, too.) Plus, Meyer has an alliterative name, which is always pleasant to hear on awards stand.

3. 100 freestyle: Arianna Vanderpool-Wallace was the sprint queen this weekend, adding the 100 to her 50 title with a 47.07 win. What's impressive about that is how consistent she's been, on top of how fast. That was her slowest time between SECs and NCAAs, which is mighty quick. Good wins for Auburn. They've been hurting the past couple years, so they need a boost. I was worried about Cal in the team race here, as Wilson and Jensen only grabbed seventh and eighth in the final, while Georgia got fifth and sixth. Cal got second place points in the B-final, though, so they racked up enough to stay in it. That was the biggest thing after prelims for them. As long as they were solid, the team title was theirs. Mistakes would be costly, but as long as they played it cool and did okay, they'd win.

4. 200 breaststroke: Easily and surprisingly the best race of the meet, and perhaps one of the best races I've ever seen. After prelims this was clearly going down as a race between Minnesota's Jillian Tyler (who won the 100 yesterday) and Cal's Caitlin Leverenz (the favorite who's fighting for team points). They had the middle lanes and for the first 150 yards it was easily playing out as expected, with Leverenz having maybe a millisecond's advantage over Tyler. But then something truly awesome happened. Those two were bracketed by Breeja Larson of Texas A&M and Hayley Spencer of Minnesota on either side, and literally in the last half-length, those two overtook the leaders to take second and first, respectively. The four of them all of a sudden made a solid line down the last five yards. An epic, epic finish. Spencer clearly had no idea she had won when she hit the wall, and her tearful, joyful reaction was priceless. I almost didn't watch the whole broadcast, but I'm so glad I did - this is the kind of race that makes swimming special. And the finishing times were just amazing. Spencer at 2:06.12, Larson at 2:06.18, Leverenz at 2:06.23 and Tyler at 2:06.35. That small of a margin of victory across four swimmers? Awesome. Huge mental toughness from Spencer and Larson, damn. Big things to come from them both in the future, I'd imagine.

5. 200 butterfly: At this point it was pretty clear that Cal had enough points to win, barring a huge disaster, so there wasn't a ton of pressure on Amanda Sims to win. She certainly made a go of it with a really quick opening 150, but she bombed into fifth at the end. No big deal, though. She scored the points. Katinka Hosszu won in 1:51.69 for her third title of the meet. Really impressive, no one's done that in a long time, and she had, arguably, one of the toughest possible schedules. (On second thought, Theresa Crippen might just take that honor. 200 fly/200 back double is ugly. But still, Hosszu's was hard, too.) Cammile Adams of Texas A&M got second. Impressive showing for them again this year. Alyssa Anderson of Arizona got third.

6. Platform diving: I didn't really watch this. I would have if I knew it was going to impact the team score, but it wasn't. I don't know much about diving in general, at least not enough to comment. You know a good dive when you see when, and you know a bad one, but at this level, they're all pretty good. HOWEVER, platform diving makes me too nervous. There should not be a fear of death at any athletic event, and I feel like there is here. I mean, those hand-stand entries? No thank you. Two times I turned back to the screen to check what was happening. The first time, the unintentionally hilarious Southern announcer was monotoning, "Oh, she's crying," as they were back-boarding a girl out of the water. The second time the same announcer was saying, "I did that same thing once, and something popped out of my elbow that looked like a golf ball." I don't know who that announcer woman is - it's the same lady who does the Olympics, but I forget her name - but she is hysterical. She's knowledgeable but has absolutely no sympathy when things go wrong for those girls.

Completely unrelated, but in the meantime, I was scouring the music to "Swan Lake" that I downloaded this week, trying to find the part that plays during the beginning of this scene. I don't really understand classical music or the titles of the album and how they correspond to anything in the actual ballet, but I skimmed through each track and couldn't find anything that exactly matched that sequence. So if anyone could help me out, that'd be great, because I really really really like that music.

ANYhoozle.

7. 400 freestyle relay: Basically all Cal had to do for the team title was NOT be disqualified here and they had it won. Georgia took first in an American record 3:11.03, and Auburn took second on the back of Vanderpool-Wallace's monster opening leg of 46.82, but Cal hung on for third place in this event to take the team title! Yay for them. Also, Katinka Hosszu wrapped up the meet with a good come-from-behind anchor to win the B-final for USC.

This certainly wasn't as emotional a win for Cal as 2009 was. The 2009 squad was very talented and had Dana Vollmer as a headliner, but their win really happened because of a couple of lucky (for them) misfortunes from other teams. So that win was almost more fun, because it was a shock and a real reward for a program that is consistently so impressive. This one was very businesslike. Everyone got the points they needed and there were very few surprises along the way. Still, I do like to see Cal's women's program succeed. Teri McKeever does not get nearly the props she deserves as a coach, and, even more, I like listening to her interviews because she really seems invested in developing her team as people, not just swimmers. McKeever always talks about GPA and stuff like that, which not all coaches do. I mean, if Natalie Coughlin is the ultimate product of that program, then her twitter is great proof of that. She seems so well-rounded and developed as a person, not just an athlete. Plus, Cal does so much with almost exclusively in-state talent. Very cool stuff.

Texas took sixth this weekend. Good, but not great. I'm kind of sad that, as a Texas fan, I'm satisfied with a sixth-place finish. They really just aren't doing what they could be with the amount of talent they have. They're still my sentimental favorites since they were kind of my gateway team into college swimming, and it is nice to see them rebound from last year's heinous debacle, but they really do need to get more girls in the conversation of WINNING events. Scoring mid-level points is all well and good, but sometimes you just need that one star to take you to the next level.

Men's meet is next week, and while I'm usually not nearly as interested, I'll probably check it out. I had planned to finish my thesis and get ahead on other things this week, but I ended up, of course, doing absolutely nothing. So I'm basically fucked. The men's results will be a nice break in the hell that the next ten days will bring. Plus there are a few match-ups I'm really curious about, especially the 100 fly (Shields vs. Staab should be so so epic, like Phelps vs. Cavic epic) and the 200 breast. Also to see how Nathan Adrian caps off his senior year, and whether Cal can sweep the men's and women's team titles. Should be good!

Women's DI NCAAs Day Two

2011-03-19T08:34:00.005-04:00

This is a GREAT meet.

1. 200 medley relay: California won in a new American record of 1:35.03. I really didn't think they were even going to win - I didn't think Leverenz's breast split would be fast enough. It was still only fifth-fastest in the A-final, but damn, Liv Jensen put out another great freestyle split (21.11) to cap it off. Wisconsin took second, then USC, Auburn and Texas A&M.

2. 400 IM: Kattinka Hosszu took it as expected, becoming the second woman to dip under the 4-minute mark in 3:59.75. Her butterfly, which she swam in a 54-split, was the deciding factor; no one else could match that opening speed. Florida's Elizabeth Beisel took second in 4:00.87, just a touch slower than her SEC winning time and a nice improvement over her 500, followed by Stanford's Maya DiRado in 4:01.02 and Cal's Caitlin Leverenz in 4:01.72. Really fast field. Leverenz's race is really interesting, too, with a quick butterfly and breaststroke and slower backstroke and freestyle. Must be very mentally tough to have that kind of catch-up-fall-behind style. Her breaststroke splits tonight bode well for her 200 tomorrow, which she has to win for the sake of a team victory. Theresa Crippen out of Florida, who took second last year, only got seventh this year. Florida hasn't really looked all that sharp this weekend.

3. 100 butterfly: Amanda Sims, 2009 champion in this event, reclaimed the title this year in a really fast 50.49, only behind Natalie Coughlin and Rachel Komisarz in the all-time standings. Always good to see a senior win, and she helped build up some momentum for Cal. She was followed more than a second back by Claire Donahue of Western Kentucky, then Lyndsay De Paul of USC and her teammate Hannah Wilson. Also cool to see two girls from Louisiana State tie for seventh and Maryland win the B-final.

4. 200 freestyle: Allison Schmitt of Georgia won her second title in this event in 1:42.08, but Georgia did not do as well as they needed to here. Virginia's Lauren Perdue broke them up for second in 1:42.51, while Georgia's Morgan Scroggy settled for third in 1:42.56. Karlee Bispo of Texas got in there for fourth with a quick 1:42.81, and Sara Isakovic scored some more points for Cal in fifth with a 1:43.63. She's an odd case. She won the silver medal in this event at the Olympics but has never carried that level of success into the short-course yards format. Meg Romano of Georgia only got seventh, which should really affect Georgia's shot at the team title. Mid-distance freestyle was their chance to make a move, but too many girls got in their way here.

5. 100 breaststroke: Jillian Tyler of Minnesota won in 58.39. Not as fast as I was anticipating, given her relay split, but still pretty quick. Nice to see her finally win, since she was in Rebecca Soni's shadow for a couple years, and then Annie Chandler upset her last year. Breeja Larson of Texas A&M took second in 58.51. Very impressive, since she's only a freshman and has only been swimming for two years, apparently. There are men who would like to hit a 58 in this event after only two years, so she's a serious natural talent, clearly. Ashley Danner of George Mason took third in 59.23 while Kasey Carlson of USC took fourth in 59.29. Wish she could have been a little faster. She won a bronze medal at Worlds in 2009 and put out a really fast 100-yard breaststroke in high school, but that was all during the high-tech suit era. Hasn't quite matched that form in textile yet. She's still diesel, though. Swimming (and placing high) in the 50 and 100 freestyles and the 100 breaststroke? Not many people can pull that off. Probably Jessica Hardy is the only other one, at least on the women's side.

6. 100 backstroke: Great event for Cal. Random freshman Deborah Roth took the top spot in prelims with a fast 51.64, while her teammate Cindy Tran, who was arguably the top backstroke recruit of last year, barely squeaked into finals. Then at night, Tran won in 51.30 and Roth took second in 51.51. Both freshmen! Good news for the team score, too, since at this point it's whittling down to Cal, USC, and Georgia, and Presley Bard of USC took third in 51.62. Maggie Meyer of Wisconsin took fourth, and UNC's Carly Smith got fifth to show some more ACC love. Meg Romano of Georgia had a tough double with the 200 freestyle to get seventh in this event.

Incidentally, though, at around the same time, high schooler Rachel Bootsma was the fastest 100 backstroke in the country at Junior Nationals with a ridiculous 50.76. That puts her as the third-fastest performer ever, behind only Natalie Coughlin and Gemma Spofforth. To be in conversation with those two as a junior in high school is pretty big stuff. There are so many excellent young American female backstrokers right now. Missy Franklin, Elizabeth Pelton, Bootsma, Tran, Roth, even Beisel. Like, shit. Olympic Trials is going to be out of control in the 100-meter backstroke. And imagine if Bootsma went to Cal? Cal could have a stranglehold on this event for the next six years at NCAAs.

7. 800 freestyle relay: Georgia, as expected, won in 6:55.40, well-ahead of Cal's 6:58.71, but they could have won by two minutes and it wouldn't have mattered, as Cal is still ahead in the points race by about twenty points. Arizona took third and Texas got another good placement with fourth. USC dropped off here, as they only took eighth, but they're still only about 40 points behind Cal. That can be made up with a very good last day, but it'll be tough. Tonight should be excellent, though. Cal should be strong in the 200 breast and the 400 freestyle relay, and, judging by the rest of the meet, Jensen should do well in the 100 freestyle, but Amanda Sims and Sara Isakovic really need to get into the A-final of the 200 fly to fend off USC, who has the two best 200 fliers of this year. Georgia's also great in the 1650, so they could make a resurgence. Wonder if platform diving will have any effect at all, too, because that was the deciding factor for Florida last year. Should be good!

Women's DI NCAAs Day One

2011-03-18T13:27:00.007-04:00

Weird week for me. Glad this is happening to break it up.

1. 200 freestyle relay: Cal takes the first win in 1:27.36. Liv Jensen was especially impressive with her anchor 21.29 split in prelims and 21.32 in finals. She won the individual 50 last year, but with Auburn's Vanderpool-Wallace coming on so strong this year, I wondered if Jensen would still be competitive. Looks like that is a yes. Tight race for second here, with Arizona just grabbing it in 1:28.02 ahead of Texas (1:28.06) and Stanford (1:28.15). Arizona's whole relay is freshmen, which is a frightening prospect for the future. Good to see Texas rebounding after last year. They probably will not do great this year without Kathleen Hersey, but a top-ten finish would be refreshing, positive momentum for them.

2. 500 freestyle: Allison Schmitt takes her third win in this event with a 4:34.20. She broke Caroline Burckle's NCAA record in prelims with a 4:32.71 but didn't deliver that again at night. She just held off Towson's Meredith Budner, who finished in 4:34.56. Alyssa Anderson picked up some more points for Arizona in third. Georgia got a lot of points in this event with first, fifth, and seventh in the A-final, though that's always expected from their middle-distance program. Elizabeth Beisel did fairly poorly here with a 4:42.18 for eighth. The 500 is her weakest event of the weekend by a large margin, so hopefully that doesn't translate into her other two events. (And she's already topped the 400 IM prelims as I write this, so it looks like it doesn't.)

3. 200 IM: USC's Kattinka Hosszu begins what will likely be her Swimmer of the Year weekend with a win in 1:53.39. I never understood why she didn't swim this event in previous years, she would always have been competitive, even with Julia Smit the past few years. Stanford freshman Maya Dirado impresses for second with a 1:54.66, and Texas' Karlee Bispo had a nice surprise third in 1:55.07. Not a very quick final overall. I really thought Morgan Scroggy would challenge Hosszu, but she took fourth in 1:55.15, while Caitlin Leverenz only got fifth in 1:55.22. Both of them could have been under 1:55, but, like Beisel tonight, I think this is Leverenz's worst event of the weekend, and maybe Scroggy's as well. Their other events are all stacked this year, though, so it's going to be an uphill battle all over the place. This meet is really, really deep.

4. 50 freestyle: Vanderpool-Wallace wins in 21.38, just a bit off her SEC winning time. That's an amazing swim. Lara Jackson's NCAA record is only a tenth faster than that, and that came from the supersuit year that was 2009. Liv Jensen couldn't defend, unfortunately, but dropped a huge chunk of time from last year to take second in 21.50. Margo Geer out of Arizona took third in 21.93. Very impressive. No one last year went under 22, so this is a big step up.

5. 400 medley: Cal impresses with two relay wins for the night. Winning time was a 3:28.53 with an impressive backstroke lead-off of 51.59 from freshman Cindy Tran and a very fast anchor of 46.99 from Jensen. She had quite a busy night. USC in second with a 3:29.82, followed by Arizona, Tennessee, Wisconsin and Minnesota. Jillian Tylers put out a blazing 57.09 as Minnesota's breaststroke leg. That is RIDICULOUS. Perhaps the US Open record will go down in the individual event this weekend. Georgia currently leads in 129, followed by USC (122), Stanford (116), Cal (115), Arizona (99), Auburn (80), and Texas (68). Georgia will probably hold that lead through tonight. They could sweep the top three spots in the 200 free and will probably take the 800 free relay no problem. Their sprint strokes aren't that strong, though, so the balance might tip away from them there. I remain hesitantly hopeful about Texas' individual prospects - the prelims results so far don't look great, but Bispo's in the A-final for the 200 free and Sogar's in the A-final of the 100 breast. They're seeded eighth for the 200 medley, but their freshman backstroker isn't really delivering yet, so that will hurt them. We'll see!

Freaks on the Bus

2011-03-03T23:04:00.004-05:00

--Things have been kind of hectic lately. It's nice. I feel like I'm always getting something done, which offsets the creeping feeling that I have so much to do. But every week this semester I put aside an hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays at around 3:45, when all my classes were done, where I just went to the dining hall by myself, grabbed a sandwich and some coffee and just read Middlemarch with the sun at my back. It's mostly empty at that time between lunch and dinner, and that has really been the only time I've been able to put aside to read by myself. After slushing through a lot of material that I'm totally apathetic about and casting out desperate feelers for some sort of direction after graduation, it's been a quiet little luxury that I've come to relish, and I finished that book today with genuine regret that the last page was upon me. First time I've felt that way in quite a while. It took me a few times to overtake the first third of the book, but it was worth the wait. One of the most profound things I've ever read. That woman was a genius. How can you be write the perspective of one person so well, which such quick, broad, dazzling insight, and then suddenly move to encompass a group, a town, a nation, the whole human race? Genius. God. I'm exhausted from this book. A tip of the hat to you, Mary Ann Evans.

--One of the things that's been keeping me busy is a sudden manic episode of exercise I'm having. I get like that once in a while, but this is far and away the best (or worst, I guess) it's ever been. I've been getting up at 6:30 willingly, even joyfully, pounding out an hour of IM sets at the pool, then turning around and burning upwards of 1,000 calories at the gym in an hour. I've yet to crash and I really feel awesome right now. It's affected my mood hugely, and it keeps the ball rolling in other areas. Hope to keep it up for a few more weeks at least.

--One of the other things is that I started to write for the Arts section of the school paper. Why? I have no idea. I'm in my last semester. Why bother to take this on now? But a friend of mine told me they needed writers around awards season because so many of the small theaters out here were releasing all those films that got nominated that no one has heard of. So I went to the meeting, anticipating I would see something niche and artsy. My first assignment was the Justin Bieber movie. I almost dropped the whole thing in that moment. But... I don't know why, but I didn't. And as trivial as this blog is, I'm genuinely grateful that I've kept it up, off and on, for the past few years, because I got to take that same kind of idiotic tone that I use here in my review, saying whatever the hell ran through my head. I wrote it at 3 AM on a Sunday morning, sent it, immediately began cringing and second-guessing myself. But it was published. And suddenly people I didn't know or didn't speak to very often were emailing me and stopping me, telling me how my review made them laugh, that I was a good writer and they never knew. I saw people I didn't know across classrooms reading my article and chuckling to themselves. My mother found it somehow - I hadn't told her - and she berated me, proud and irritated at once, asking why I had never let her read anything I'd written, why she didn't know I could write. The manager of the independent theater in town called the paper and told them he liked my review, which... I didn't even know what to say. I was just so... so grateful. I'm not saying I'm the best writer in the world. I'm not. Anyone who has read this page knows I'm not. It's just... I don't know. This is something I never would have done a year and a half ago. It's stupid. It's a small section of a college paper. But still. Writing something down and putting my name and contact information on it and having it distributed to thousands of people? I would never have put myself out there like that before. This might sound like I'm blowing this out of proportion, and I am, but I can only speak from the frame of my own experience and tell you that this is, somehow, something I've been pining for, or at least a piece of that something. I set a sort of vague mission for myself at the end of 2009, some sort of nebulous New Year's Resolution that didn't have a set end but was more a need for something different, a different attitude, something that would carry on and on and on, and I knew five months later from the way I was thinking and the way I was carrying myself that I was actually getting there, but this is just more proof that it's happening, that I'm doing it, finally. I wanted things to be different and all it took was to make it happen. I might not seem different or sound different to people who know me, but here, in the space between my ears, the space where I am always with myself, it is different. I'm sorry. I'm exhausted and incoherent right now. But, man. It's just - have you ever realized how unhappy you were before only in the light of how happy you are now?

I had more to say, but I'll just leave it. Cheers to exercise, George Eliot, and Justin Bieber, because things are good right now. The kind of feeling you want to bottle up and save.

Perhaps I may become a highwayman again

2011-01-23T21:17:00.000-05:00

--Around New Year's Day I pittered around my own archives, and it's humorous to me to see the downward trajectory which this blog has taken. I can see myself moving steadily away from talking about personal things - or at least, in the "today this happened" sense - and turning this page instead into a dumping ground for assorted nonsense that occurs to me throughout my days.

--The other day I walked by a homeless guy who was sitting in the snowbank, jangling a cup for change. I don't know why the homeless here act as they do in a large city, just sprawling out on the streets, because it seems to me that there must be somewhere else they could go. But I digress. He said, "Hello sir, how are you?" in such a cheery voice that I immediately responded, "I'm fine, thanks, how are you?" I said this even having already processed that he was a homeless guy in a snowbank jangling for change. So, for future reference, this is one instance where, when receiving a polite greeting, a robotic response of the same kind is not appropriate.

--I was bored, jobless, and frequently without access to a car over winter break, so I walked my dog five to seven miles almost every day. In addition to being a nice, meditative hour and a half every day for me, this resulted in such an intense bonding experience between me and Abby that by the end, she was regularly sleeping in my bed, frequently by my side at home, and hung at my hip with an adorably pouty look while I packed for school. She completely ignored my sister as we were walking out the door. She drove me up the wall while we were snowed in, because she stared at me all day with her crazy WHEN ARE WE LEAVING, LET'S GO OUT, WHY NOT NOW eyes, but on a good day we're officially best friends.

--I also ate 6000 boxes of Frosted Mini-Wheats because that is all my parents seem to buy these days. The cinnamon streusel ones are to be avoided.

--I need to see the Facebook movie at some point, because I have an intense and irrational resentment about the fact that it's beating Black Swan (which I saw three times) and The King's Speech (which I saw twice) for Best Picture awards. I mean, as much as Natalie Portman's performance makes Black Swan so great - and I say this not having ever really liked her in anything, save one huge exception - the supporting cast and all the stuff going on in the background throughout the whole movie really are both wonderful as well. That one, in particular, really stands up to rewatching. There are lots of obvious tricks - the mirrors and stuff- that you can see right off, but even more subtle ones that are harder. Like, for instance, the club scene. There's a lot intercut throughout that's hard to catch in one viewing. And The King's Speech is so well-acted by EVERYONE in it that I somehow can't imagine Justin Timberlake standing up to that. Though I do confess, I very much liked Jesse Eisenberg in Adventureland, so I should not be so quick to judge, I suppose.

--But honestly, Natalie Portman is so good in that movie, from the very first scene. Maybe because I know lots of girls like that, but I really thought she nailed that too-old-to-be-attached-to-your-mom-like-that relationship. The way she talks to her mother in that first scene with the grapefruit, that voice - I have seen that type of baby-talk interaction so many times. I wonder if she had anyone in mind while she was performing that.

--Is there a movie or something where "Sweet Caroline" is played while someone is being tortured or killed? For some reason all I can think about is massacre whenever I hear it. Something along the lines of House of 1000 Corpses, though I'm pretty sure it's not that movie.

--Not sure whether it was me or if the first few stories in the collection were just not great, but I resumed Flannery O'Connor's complete stories over break which I had put aside out of boredom, and holy shit that's some good stuff. I picked it up at "Enoch and the Gorilla" and immediately blanched because it was another story about this same guy that had put me to sleep before. But that story in particular... I don't know, there was something magical in it. Might sound silly if you know what literally happens in it, but it struck a chord for some reason. I couldn't fall asleep after I'd read it. There was something wonderful about it. And then in quick succession there were a few more - "The Artificial Nigger" and "Good Country People," in particular, but also "Everything that Rises Must Converge" and "The Lame Shall Enter First" - that just sealed it. Some of the best short stories I've ever ever read, some of the best writing, flat-out, that I've ever read. So many of them had shock or twist endings that, reading them back-to-back(-to-back-to-back-to-back, in several cases), I should have been inured to them at some point, but I never was. I liked that she skewered Southern gentility and post-Civil War society without ever sinking into one-sided condescension. Nobody was safe in those stories. And, surprisingly, quite humorous at times, even when horrible horrible things were happening.

--Also, speaking of books, The Hunger Games was awesome, the second book was good, and then the third one completely pulled the rug out from under me. That was one of the rare times where I wish I hadn't finished a series. My expectation that this was a series of a certain type, with a certain fixed point which we'd arrive at, was totally off base. Kudos to Collins for telling that kind of story. I think it's kind of brave, especially since you can see on Amazon that her target audience was clearly pissed about it. I understand the grumbles, though, since I really preferred my own imagined ending better. I mean, Katniss ended up with the guy I wanted her to end up with, and I was still like "Say what?" at the end. But the first book, at least, is highly recommended by me.

--That is all.

Let's kick off the new year...

2011-01-01T23:13:00.003-05:00

with another one of these!

1. What is your best friend's Mom's name? I hate the phrase 'best friend.' But, I don't know, Cathy, I guess.

2. Where is the weirdest place you have a mole? I have a small one on my collar bone and one on my shin.

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? Oh, good one. Let me mentally scroll through all my teachers. Third grade, she was hot in a cougary way. Sixth, also hot. Homeroom in ninth grade. Two TAs in college that I can think of, and my poetry teacher last semester was hot in an icy, I went to Berkley and am super-smart kind of way. I would say the hottest of all of them was one of the TAs, but he was a sucky teacher so that is detracting from the hotness in my mind.

4. Have you ever made out in a movie theater? No.

5. What body part do you wash first? My hair.

6. Do you hover over the toilet in public bathrooms? No. I really commit to whatever toilet I'm using.

7. What's the strangest talent you have? I can lift one eyebrow and wiggle my ears a little and do that foldy tongue thing, but none of those are that weird.

8. Do you have an innie or an outtie? Innie.

9. What's your favorite flavored Pringles? I've been known to knock out a tube of the regular ones in one go.

10. Have you ever been tied up? Do you want to be? One time, I was somehow convinced by my older brother to be tied to an office chair, which he proceeded to throw down the stairs. I untied halfway down and survived.

11. What was the last thing you ever got grounded for? My parents never did that. Or I was just a huge lame-ass. Likely the latter.

12. Do you parallel park or drive around the block? I drive around. I've only really nailed parallel parking once.

13. Have you ever had two dates in one night? Nope.

14. How many times have you been cussed out? Never. Though a car drove by me while I was walking the dog today and flipped me off and laid on the horn. I don't know why.

15. Which shoe do you put on first? Left.

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar? Actually, no.

18. Girls. Love 'em.

19. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common? No.

20. Did you French kiss before you were 16? No.

21. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting? No. I don't even know what that second one is. Wait, looked it up. That's not nice.

22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep? Who knows.

23. Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you? I mean, have you listened to the new Taylor Swift album?

24. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets again or not wash your bath towel ever again, which would you rather not wash?
Bed sheets. Ready for a confession session, bloggies? I barely ever wash my sheets. Gross, I know, but I also rarely sleep underneath them, either. I sleep on top of the comforter with another comforter on top of me. One of my quirks.

25. Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable? Uh... Pass. Yes, and it's nothing terrible, but pass.

26. What was your childhood nickname? I don't have nicknames.

27. When is the last time you played the air guitar? Dunno.

28. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room? I'm always confused by this type of question. What is my opposite sex, the desired one or the anatomically different one? Because the answer is yes on both, of course, and it is definitely not a sexy thing in either case.

29. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving? Once I was at a stoplight, and when it turned green I hit the brake instead of the gas and, for whatever reason, my first thought was that the car had broken, so rather than realizing how stupid I was, I just hung there for a minute in a panic before I realized that I'm a huge fucking dumbass and was not pressing the gas at all. And I was like eighteen when I did this. Not new to driving.

30. Have you ever bitten your toenails? Yeah.

31. How do you eat your cookie? With gusto.

32. When working out at the gym, do you wear a belt? No.

33. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of others. Use your imagination.

36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk? Four or five, I guess. I don't know.

37. Have you ever sniffed an animal's butt? Yup.

38. How often do you clean out your ears? When I remember to.

39. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper? Fold.

40. About how many times a day do you pick a wedgie? Rarely.

41. Do you have any strange phobias? I have a huge fear of breaking bones and teeth, so I will not do things like ski or try to do cartwheels or go whitewater rafting.

42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Sure.

43. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar? I believe bursting into "Proud to Be an American" was the stupidest thing, though that was at a creperia adjacent to the bar, so does that count? If not, then using the women's room, which I do on the regular. So stupid.

44. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted? No.

45. Have you ever called your love interest by an ex's name? No.

46. Have you caught a guy/girl farting while on a date? No. I'd love that though. That would be huge points in my book.

47. Have you ever played naked Twister? No.

48. Have you ever been drunk at work? No.

49. Have you ever found your date's/lover's brother or sister more attractive? No.

50. Do you want to bring sexy back? Justin Timberlake is full of shit, it never went anywhere.
_________

And again!

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Yes.

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? In, but as I described above, it does not matter.

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes? Not really. Sometimes.

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? No.

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? I would say bear, because I actually have been attacked by a huge swarm of bees and it is so much scarier than you would imagine.

8. Do you have freckles? No.

9. Do you always smile for pictures? Sure.

10. What is your biggest pet peeve? Not yielding while driving.

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Yeah.

12. Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes.

13. What about pooped in the woods? Yes.

14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? No.

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? Yeah.

16. How many people have you slept with this week? Zero.

17. What size is your bed? Double.

18. What is your Song of the week? That Michael Jackson one from Free Willy. Not a joke.

19. Is it ok for guys to wear pink? Yes.

20. Do you still watch cartoons? Once in a while. I don't watch a lot of TV.

21. What's your least favorite movie? Uh... I don't know.

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? In my bank account.

23. What do you drink with dinner? Water.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Complicated question. McDonald's? Sweet and sour. Wendy's? BBQ sauce. BK? Nothing. Frozen nuggets? Ketchup.

25. What is your favorite food? All of it.

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Miss Congeniality. I had a conversation with one of my cousins who was surprisingly of the same sentiment, that that is the greatest and most underrated movie in cinema history.

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? Some girl.

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No.

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? I would think about it if there were a large check involved. I'm not sure who'd buy the magazine.

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Months ago.

31. Can you change the oil on a car? No. I can't do anything to cars. I can barely function in the real world.

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket? No.

33. Ran out of gas? No. I've had a few occasions of coasting on fumes into the gas station, but never ran out.

34. Favorite kind of sandwich for breakfast? I usually eat cereal.

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast? Oh, I see now.

36. What is your usual bedtime? Midnight.

37. Are you lazy? Yeah.

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I can actually probably name them all: Casper, Barney, Mickey Mouse, the thing from The Haunted Mask like three times, a yeti, and then I gave up. I have always hated Halloween. However, there are the most heart-breakingly adorable pictures of me adjusting the hat of my Mickey Mouse costume. Legit, I was so cute when I was four or five. I don't know what happened in the interim.

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? Uh... snake, I think?

40. How many languages can you speak? Two.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? None.

42. Which are better Legos or lincoln logs? Legos. I made all those things from the Phantom Menace one time. Pod racers or whatever they did in the chariot-racing blah blah blah. My greatest works. I don't even like Star Wars, but I turned my room into a small museum for a few days.

43. Are you stubborn? No.

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman? LETTERMAN. That's like asking if I'd rather eat wallpaper paste or cupcakes.

45. Ever watch soap operas? Only when they're on at the gym.

46. Afraid of heights? Heights as in ladders, yeah, but that's more the broken-bone fear again.

47. Sing in the car? OH yes.

48. Dance in the shower? No.

49. Dance in the car? No.

50. Ever used a gun? Uh... no.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Psssh, senior year of high school, probably. Actually, no, my skillion cousins and I did a group picture for my grandmother a couple years ago.

53. Is Christmas stressful? A little, but it's mostly joyful.

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes yes yes. The one vestige of Polishness in my life.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Key lime.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? No idea.

57. Do you believe in ghosts? No.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Doesn't everybody?

59. Take a vitamin daily? No. I used to but it made me constipated.

60. Wear slippers? Yes.

61. Wear a bathrobe? I got one for Christmas after years of hating bathrobes and I LOVE it.

62. What do you wear to bed? Underwear. Sometimes a t-shirt. Sometimes sweatpants.

63. First concert? I genuinely don't know. I haven't been to terribly many.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target because some of them have hot pretzels and Starbucks.

65. Nike or Adidas? Um... Adidas, but whatever.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Neither, but at the right time, Friiiiiiiiiiiitos.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts .

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No, but obviously just looked them up.

69. Ever take dance lessons? No.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No.

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee? I don't think so.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Uh, no, not really.

74. Own any record albums? No.

75. Own a record player? No.

76. Regularly burn incense? No.

77. Ever been in love? No.

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Johnny Cash. But for real, I'd like to see Shoshana Bean.

79. What was the last concert you saw? Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Wait, no, Amy Ray, I forgot about that.

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Hot.

81. Tea or coffee? Both.

82. Sugar or snickerdoodles? Snickerdoodles.

83. Can you swim well? Yeah.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah. Is that not universal?

85. Are you patient? I think so.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? I don't know.

87. Ever won a contest? Probably.

88. Ever have plastic surgery? No.

89. Which are better black or green olives? Green.

90. Can you knit or crochet? I wish. I wonder if I could teach myself?

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room.

92. Do you want to get married? No, I'm not sure if I believe in marriage. Or believe that it's necessary, I guess.

93. If married, how long have you been married? No.

94. Who was your HS crush? Ha.

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No.

96. Do you have kids? No.

97. Do you want kids? Maybe.

98. What's your favourite color? Green.

99. Do you miss anyone right now? No.

100. Did you watch Next Great American Band on FOX? What's with the advertisement questions?

This great stage of fools

2010-12-11T23:45:00.014-05:00

--Gym-time thoughts:
1. It must be hard to be one of those really hot jacked guys at the gym, because once you reach a certain point of muscular definition, it seems that it's obligatory to factor in twenty to thirty minutes every time you work out in which you stand in front of a mirror and admire yourself in various poses while simultaneously making it seem like you're just doing some sort of cool down. Yeah, I know you're gazing at your own abs while you ostensibly wipe your (not) sweaty forehead with your shirt. We ALL know.

2. There's a bike program called "Around the World" where the dots on the progress bar form shapes that vaguely look like various architectural features from around the world. So, like, the screen will flash FRANCE! and then the dots form the Eiffel Tower and stuff. It's a little too easy, but I do like to do it occasionally because when it gets to Russia, with all those onion domes, it looks like you're riding through a big line of tits.

3. Does doing things upside down make them more effective? I'm increasingly seeing all sorts of stretching and abs and weights and such done upside down, and I cannot fathom why. Even beyond its general discomfort, I'd think there's a much greater danger of flashing your junk in those weird positions. That's something I'm really conscious of at the gym, the state of my junk. I hate when you go and you're accidentally wearing boxers and all you can think about is the tunnel you're going to make when you go to do sit-ups. Is that just me?

--I probably have been sitting in this chair for 75% of the time I wasn't in class last week and it does not look like I'm getting up until Wednesday, at the earliest. How my semester-long procrastination is BITING me now. Italy, I love you, but you did me no favors in that department. I'm currently swapping back and forth between my last two ginormous papers and making absolutely no sense. Yesterday and the day before I crunched out a heinous poetry final. I never want anyone to use the words "thinly veiled criticism of a white-dominated social hierarchy" or "symbolic representation of a communist uprising" near me ever again. (Obviously this is going to entail a major life change for those near me, because how many times a day do you hear those phrases? It's innumerable!) Also, I'm going to hate Mark Twain by the end of this academic year. Nathaniel Hawthorne and I are frenemies and we have been for a while, but an active hate for Twain is brewing in my soul.

--All of which is why I'm listening to "Go the Distance" from Hercules on infinite loop. I AM ON MY WAY! I CAN GO THE DISTANCE! I DON'T CARE HOW FAR! SOMEHOW I'LL BE STRONG! I KNOW EV-ERY MILE, WILL BE WORTH MY WHILE! And so on.

--I also just deleted all the bookmarks I have saved on Firefox and I'm having someone change my Facebook password tomorrow if this gets really bad, because I would quite like to be done on Wednesday night.

--Like, seriously, going to have to delete every single word that I've written on these papers tonight. Is it too obvious if I just copy and paste what I wrote earlier in the semester? Because Umberto Saba and I are not really operating at the same level right now.

--I'm staunchly opposed to having a Facebook profile picture - don't ask because I have no answer - but I briefly entertained the idea of making this mine after 30 Rock on Thursday:

Does that count as blackface? Can blackface be funny? I suppose it can when you put it beside a man dressed as Natalie Portman in Black Swan.

--I want to see Black Swan. Mostly for Mila Kunis. I read somewhere that she used to play Warcraft and I've always wondered since if I've ever fought against her. Though she probably plays World of, which, with its monthly fee, is beyond my price range of free-after-purchase, so doubtful.

--Short Course Worlds are coming up in a couple days. This is really not a great time for a swim mania, but, like an epileptic seizure, sometimes these things just come. Good thing it's only short course, so I'll only be in a moderately crazed state of "WHY IS THERE NO ONE WHO WANTS TO TALK WITH ME ABOUT THIS." But you may hear about it, reader dear, fear not!

--Why didn't I know about Mika before? I looooove this song. Not sure about the video, now that I've sought it out, but the song, yes yes yes.

--One of the rare perks of being a humanities major is that the quality of the bathroom graffiti in the English and language buildings is much higher than in most other academic buildings. I mean, you do get a lot of the usual "FUCK THE JEWS" and stuff, but there's a toilet in the English building where not only do people scratch out rather lovely lines of original poetry into the wall, but other people come and write constructive criticism. And none of it degrades into idiotic cruelty. It's all like, "I think your meter is off here" and "What about this word instead?" I think it's nice, especially since you can be pretty certain that it was ALL DONE WHILE PEOPLE WERE TAKING A DUMP.

--I've used a startling amount of capital letters in this post. This is an expression of my current frame of mind, I suspect.

--Also, another song: LOVE. I downloaded a version that's a lot faster, and I prefer it, but oh, oh, that song.

--Okay, I'm gonna go take a shit on one more page before I go to bed. LATER.

I will have no hesitation in smashing your dolls cupboard with a hammer.

2010-11-18T22:13:00.009-05:00

--Humorous thing in my e-mail inbox this morning: "A publishing event... Barbara Streisand's My Passion for Design!" Yes indeed, Penguin.

--I don't like Josh Groban's Christmas CD. Josh is cool in my book. His rendition of "Anthem" gives me chills. But that CD? Blows. Way too tame and mellow. He could have done so much better. Faith Hill somehow turns "The First Noel" into a riffing contest. Stop that, Faith.

--China Mievelle is coming to my school in a few weeks. I've never read anything by him, but he's won lots of awards, is alternatingly championed and lampooned on one of the sites I go to for book recommendations, and "consciously attempts to move fantasy away from commercial, genre clichés of Tolkien epigones," which I like, so maybe I will take this opportunity to read something of his and then go see him talk. My Marxist poetry teacher is very excited about his coming.

--By that I mean my poetry teacher who is a Marxist, not a teacher of Marxist poetry. That would probably be a boring subject. Also, I don't think I've ever seen the word "epigone" before.

--A Nickelback song was playing while I was shopping for a new toothbrush a few days ago, and I came to the conclusion that I really dislike the sentiment that we should "live like we're dying" or like it's our last day on earth or whatever. If I knew for a fact that it was my last day alive, I would face-plant into carton of french vanilla ice cream and stay there all day. Then I'd probably take a bunch of pills and tell the survivors to throw my body in the ocean. That's probably not what Nickelback is going for. I guess "Live like you're on a strict time frame and have important stuff to do" isn't as catchy, though.

--I went to a concert for one half of the Indigo Girls last night. Whoa. So many lesbians. So many lesbians who love Amy Ray. I was rather out of place. The Mount Holyoke lesbians were staring at me.

--This is the best website ever for a daily dose of awww. I don't know what my dog fixation has been all about lately.

--I went home last weekend to take the GRE up in Portsmouth, since there was weirdly no place nearby that offered it, even though Western Massachusetts is collegeville. I did okay, considering I literally had no idea what was on it or how it was structured, but I was vaguely bemused by the fact that the whole test is a blatant money grab. They advertised "IMPROVE YOUR SCORE!" books and classes in between sections of the test. Like, what? Also, it seems to me that the GRE is also a little unbalanced, since I, an English major who has not taken a math course in four years and was fumbling around to remember basic things like how to get the area of a triangle, somehow ended up with the same score in both sections. Curious.

--Speaking of Western Massachusetts, I was in line at Starbucks today and the baristas were shouting out the names of the people in front of me. The Caucasian mother-son pair directly in front of me was named Freida and Cisco, and both wearing purple turtlenecks with an admirable, even enviable, level of confidence. Only here. And maybe Norway.

--Also, I took the GRE in a "Sylvan Learning Center," whose commercials I had, of course, seen a skillion times, but which I'd never seen in person. It was a weird place. All the people working there were barefoot and it was hot as a motherfucking greenhouse.

--After the test was over I went to a bar with my brother and a friend. There's this Boston-based radio station, KISS 108, that has "dance parties" every Friday night which feature "the hottest jams" and "celebrity guests." You know, like, dumb mixes of hip hop songs and stuff. For some reason, they chose to host one of these parties at the bar I went to - which is like, an hour outside Boston - and, not to blow their cover, but they're not being honest in their advertisements. It was the lamest dance party ever, and this is coming from a very lame person indeed. Their celebrity guest was Abram of Road Rules/The Challenge/other-MTV-recycling-projects fame. He's a lot shorter than he seems and, sorry to say, looks a lot older than he does on TV.

--I'm not seeing Harry Potter on opening night. Which is two hours from now. This is sad. Those midnight shows are the biggest congregations of nutjobs in the world. Luckily it's only part one. Part two will be the important one. I anticipate a lot of tears and a few suicides in the audience of that one. Though this is the one where Dobby dies, I think, so maybe this one'll be that way, too.

--Resumed an Italian book, Due di due by Andrea de Carlo, which I'd started in Italy and had kind of forgotten over the summer. I've been reading it surprisingly fluidly; I've been reaching for the dictionary very sparingly, and I've only got about a hundred pages left. In a way, though, it's sort of cheating. Most Italian books are written in this really annoying and very irregular past tense that I never bothered to learn well, but this book is written in a more normal way. Still though. First full Italian book I'll have read on my own, when it's finished. That's kind of exciting. I've read lots of short stories, excerpts and poems, but never a full novel.

--Also working slowly through Middlemarch again. Very little at a time. Not even a chapter a night, usually, but I think I'm back to the point I had reached before throwing it aside last time. I probably won't finish it until after the semester's over. I'm too busy, and quiet time is scarce. It has to be very quiet around when I'm reading that particular book. Her genius is just so overwhelming on every page. What a mind that woman had. Jesus. I think I've mentioned that stupid moleskine notebook I bought a while ago? I mostly use it now just to write down quotes and stuff that I like, and it is littered with quotes from the first time I started Middlemarch. Now I've gone and jotted down an entirely different set of quotes from the second time through the same material. She's that good. Daunting, but good.

--iTunes just updated and somehow unearthed about two hundred songs I'd tossed from my library. Most of it went right back to the trash pile, but, thank God, I have "My Humps" at my disposal once again.

--I just signed up for a Polish film class for next semester. I'm hoping to tap into the part of my heritage that I know nothing about, namely, all of it. The class is in the Comp-Lit department. I'm also hoping to find out what Comp-Lit is. No one can explain it to me.

--Speaking of that, I have this quasi-semi-internship thing right now (and I say quasi-semi because while I don't earn money or credits for school, I am, in fact, paid in food), and the guy running it was not receiving my e-mails for a long time. We determined that this was because my e-mail address is my first initial combined with my last name, which looks exactly like the random splash of letters used by spambots. Oh, the delights of being of Polish descent.

--I spent this whole entry trying to come up with a witty line of Marxist poetry I could insert into that comment up at the top. No luck.

--Later. Happy Thanksgiving.

Books: Towers of Midnight

2010-11-04T16:43:00.003-04:00

Spoilers abound!

The Wheel of Time is a really special thing to me, because I think it's the only, I don't know, fun thing that has persisted from much earlier in my life. I started these books a long time ago - though not nearly as long ago as some people - so in a way, I come at these books like I did when I was 13 or 14, when I started reading them. Which is not at all the case with any other book I read now. Sometimes it feels like that sense of fun has been entirely replaced. When it's all said and done, I'll have spent ten years with these characters. The books certainly have their low points, but, overall, they're just flat out enjoyable and escapist.

Which is why, I think, this book has taken me aback a bit. This is the first time I've ever even entertained the possibility that this series will not end well. I mean, people die in this series and are brought back to life. Constantly. The good side hasn't sustained too many losses, and the ones they have taken have been in such a glorious way - Verin, for example - that they're almost better for it. There are very few truly menacing threats in this series, compared to, say, A Song of Ice and Fire. There's danger and intrigue, but there's a very thick sense that it'll turn out okay.

Not so much anymore. And the scenes that drove that home were, for me, some of the best in the series. Aviendha's second set of visions in Rhuidean was rather devastating. I mean, to have defeated the Dark One and still be left with that world? The sad fact is that the next book is the end. It'd be very unsatisfying to me if we were left with the hanging thought that after the last book, it's still not going to be okay for these guys. Maybe it'd be a stronger story, in a certain light, but less satisfying. But even with the bumbling Forsaken in this book - I mean, seriously, Graendal had such potential to do something badass, and she botched it, while Mesaana was pretty weak - the sense of menace was upped so much in this installment. The Black Tower scenes were legitimately creepy. Taim's been building up a huge army for the Shadow right in the Dragon's camp and they're only just noticing. That's bad news. And so are those guys with the sharpened teeth at the end. And I somehow get the sense that Cairhien will not be a good move for Elayne. I don't know why. The only other thing I can think of that was creepy in the series was when Egwene was first kidnapped by the Seanchan, and that passed quickly. This is a lingering atmosphere.

But even with that trepidation, we must give credit to Brandon Sanderson again. He took up a heavy mantle and delivered, even on long-awaited stuff. I've been anticipating the Aelfinn and the Eelfinn scenes since the second Moiraine barreled through that archway, and to have closure, finally, is nice. That whole sequence - the creepy atmosphere of that other world, Mat's luck, Jain Farstrider, Mat sacrificing an eye, the importance of the ashandarei - all great. I have been so invested in that scene for so long that when Mat didn't make any specifications about the snake people, I literally groaned. I knew he slipped up right there. So good. Nynaeve's raising was great, too. I even mildly enjoyed the long Perrin sequences, and I can't stand Perrin. His little picnic scene with Faile was nice.

The constant coupling-off did get a bit irritating, but I guess people really do that in the face of a big war, so I let it slide. But it got to, like, David Eddings level. Berelain, Galad, Morgase, Thom, Moiraine, Egwene... Everyone's got a mate. The Forsaken were, on the whole, rather disappointing, though the Slayer fight made up for it a bit. The Asmodean reveal was lame, I thought. I wanted Graendal cackling out her confession while rubbing her hands together menacingly, Edgar Allen Poe style. It's always been obvious that she did it, if you really looked at it, but to give total confirmation in the glossary for one of the most obsessively argued aspects of the series was, for me, weak. And Moridin gave the impression that he'd known all along. I thought that was odd. That teaser with Lanfear at the end was intriguing, though. Is there hope for her, or was that a trick?

It's hard for me to rate this book against the others since it does feel like such a lead into the last book, but I did enjoy it very much. Not in the way I thought I would, and I'm still left with that niggling sense of nervousness, but still, great installment.

2010-11-01T15:21:00.002-04:00

It seems this Amazon Prime thing ended up being a happy accident after all, because I have it! I have it a day early! Wahoo! Off to see Moiraine at last!

2010-10-31T23:53:00.002-04:00

If anyone else needed to read this today, here you go.

Heidi, we no longer wanna hit that.

2010-10-27T19:20:00.010-04:00

--My excitement for the new Wheel of Time book is reaching frenetic proportions. We watched a clip from The Power of Myth in one of my classes today and I went on such a tailspin of thought about WoT because of it that I had nothing to say when I was called on afterward except "TOWER OF GHENJEI AAAH." I had to delete Theoryland and Dragonmount from my bookmarks today because so many people have early copies now. Must keep this read sacred. I suspect I will cry quite a bit.

--When the fuck did it get to be almost November? It's Christmas music season and I just noticed the other day.

--I've developed a new procrastination technique where I go on all the animal shelter websites in Massachusetts (and now branching into the rest of New England) and figure out which ones are cute enough to coexist with me and my gorgeous lovemonkey:
I love pictures of her when she was a puppy. It's too bad her personality isn't nearly as cute as her exterior. But those paws! Those delicate, lady-like, white-gloved paws! I have a cuter picture from when she was just tall enough to put her paws on the seat of the stools in the kitchen, but I can't find it. I think it's on my old computer.

Anyway, I think it's hysterical that these websites try to write descriptions of the dogs in the voice of the dogs themselves. Like Ramsley, for instance, one of the few dogs I've deemed physically attractive enough to share space with me and Abby. " No one but me even knows how I ended up at such a dreadful place and if only I could speak, boy would I have a story to tell. But that is my past and ‘you’ are my future. We can create our own history and make wonderful memories together." Doesn't that sound like an excerpt from a dating website for convicts? Not that I'm actually getting another dog, of course. This is just to procrastinate. Abby's too socially awkward to have another dog in the house.

--Currently, I'm mulling over the prospect of applying for a post-grad internship in Italy where you work as a TA in an English class in a high school over there. Well, I'm not mulling over the application part; I'm applying, since there's nothing else going for me and I've pretty much decided I don't want to do grad school, at least not yet. It's just whether I'd take the internship if I got accepted. (Which is quite an if, of course.) It would surely be a good work opportunity and also a good way to see if teaching is something I'm actually interested in and yada yada, but these were the two thoughts that first came to mind:

1. If I'm in Italy when the last Wheel of Time book comes out, how will I get my hands on it?
2. It would be a lot easier to get to London for the 2012 Olympics from Italy than it would from here.

Reader, will I ever get my priorities in line? (But on the serious, I would lose my mind if I ever got to see the Olympics in person.)

--The title from this post comes from this episode of 30 Rock, and if that were a real show I would probably live-blog it. Get on that, NBC.

--I told my cousin I'd be John Travolta from Pulp Fiction for Halloween, since I guess she's being Uma Therman, but I've never seen that movie, so I don't know what that really means. She sprung it on me that there's a dance involved. I think I'm gonna bail on this idea. As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I effing hate Halloween. I hate anything that requires dressing up.

--Searching for that picture of Abby made me go through every single photo I took in Italy. (Which isn't many; I'm not one for cameras. But still.) Did you know you aren't allowed to take a picture of David? They scream "NO FOTO!" at you. Well, suckahs, guess what I got?

--I have to go write a sonnet now. This is the second time I have had to do this so far this semester. Too bad the other one was in Italian...

Passages

2010-10-24T12:04:00.004-04:00

Sad news in the swimming world yesterday. Fran Crippen, American distance and open water swimmer, passed away during a 10K World Cup Race in Dubai. Fran was one of the illustrious swimmers in his family - all his sisters are top-caliber swimmers as well. A horrible and shocking incident. I can't really understand how the officials or monitors could let an athlete slip out of view like that, particularly when the water temperature was that high; honestly, it's hard to imagine that the race even went on. Racing 10K in 82+ degree water? Open water is, as I understand, an aggressive and dangerous sport to begin with, but something like this is just unheard of. Huge loss for his family (can't even imagine what they must be feeling right now) and for the sport. He was one of the people pioneering that branch of the sport in the US. Rest in peace, Fran.

Just drive in and get a coke, if you're thirsty.

2010-10-17T18:16:00.004-04:00

--Last weekend I went to a bar with my brother and my friend. This friend went up to the bar to get a drink, and a woman sitting there asked her if she graduated high school in 1990. When my friend said no, the woman said, "Oh, I'm just waiting for Bethany who graduated high school in 1990." Amid the fuming of said friend, who was so outraged that a stranger thought she looked sixteen years older than she actually is, I didn't really think about how weird a question that actually was. That's your opening line? Was it a code? Was this, like, a Craigslist hookup in action? Could I have seen something juicy if I had paid more attention? It has been haunting me since. I keep constructing stories about her in my mind.

--My brother got really drunk that night. My dad's on Weight Watchers and my brother kept saying things like, "When I get home, I'm gonna make a grilled cheese. Two pieces of bread, one point. Cheese, one point." The whole ride home was calculated in points. "Your driving skills, minus two points." I can't even disagree on that count.

--Also last weekend, while home, my Slush Puppie shit came in. Huge baby blue t-shirt with this guy plastered on my chest?
Imma look SO FLY. I'm not sure why it's such a big shirt, though. Maybe because they figure that anyone who drank that many slush puppies to get enough points has to be a real fatass. Ha. Fooled you, Slush Puppie. I only drank, like, two. They also sent me a water bottle that looks like something a five-year old would drink out of, but I'm pretty obsessed with it.

--Every time that Coldplay song "Lovers in Japan/Reign of Love" comes on, I wish it would cut off at the first part. The piano is so, I don't know, joyful at the beginning, but the song peters into boring in the second part. I like Coldplay, but they do get kinda boring pretty often.

--I bought all this swim gear over the summer because I really thought I was going to be gung-ho about it once I got back to school, but I went once and wasn't feelin' it. My sister made me do an episode of fitness mania today, though. We worked out at the gym for an hour and a half and then went to the pool for an hour. Ouch. It's always the last thing you do at the pool that makes it hurt bad, and then when you have to spring out of the pool, the muscles in your legs just give way. I might go a couple times a week, though. I can't stand lifting weights, so I guess my upper body should start doing something.

--Ted Haggard was on the news today during said fitness mania. Man, that poor guy. He must be so fucked in the head. He seems like a genuinely nice person. If only he'd been born in any other circumstance, or had done any other line of work. "Heterosexual with issues?" Yeah, okay. I was that once, too.

--30 Rock live show made me uncomfortable, but Julia Louis Dreyfus as flashback Liz Lemon was GENIUS.

--Also, I started watching Glee, and while it's not my favorite thing, that girl who plays the blonde idiot cheerleader is hilarious and an unbelievable dancer. I watched her Britney Spears stuff like five times just to see the way her abs moved. Whoa, man. And I really like the version of "Stronger" that guy did in that episode.

--I got charged $80 the other day because I forgot to cancel my free-trial of Amazon Prime. Shit shit shit. I could reeeally use that $80 right now. I'm an idiot. But hey, free shipping for a year? That's not bad, I guess. Totally not needed, since I doubt if I spend $80 on Amazon in a year, and it doesn't apply for used books, which is mostly what I buy from Amazon in the first place, but not bad. I guess I just have to buy ALL my books from them now.

--I'm also an idiot for not setting up my thesis before going to Italy, because now I'm stuck in a guided thesis class with this jolly nutcase for a professor, and I have to pick from various things that he picked, stuff that everyone reads in high school. I think I'm just gonna man up and do The Scarlet Letter. I've only read it 800 times now and I still do like it very much, so I guess that's a good sign.

--I really like Regina Spektor when they use her songs as background in films. Like, they used her music so well in (500) Days of Summer, but man, I just cannot listen to her straight-up.

--I'm hugely procrastinating right now. Actually, I've been hugely procrastinating since school started. I have Fridays off this semester and I'm free on Mondays until 6 PM. This sounds like it would be a good thing, but since I have been turned down for every job I've applied to, there is nothing forcing me to get up on those days, which, I've found, is something I really really need. Monday nights have become a bit of a scramble, to say the least. It is midterm season and I am getting pummeled this week, so I should not be acting like this right now.

--However, Towers of Midnight is very much on the horizon now, which will be a nice respite after all this crap is finished.

--Aaaagh Guido Guinizelli, fuck you so much. Later.

Book survey

2010-10-10T20:52:00.007-04:00

I somehow let this page get away from me again. But I'll try to be better after this survey. Got this from The Sheila Variations.

1. Favorite childhood book?

Aside from The Belgariad, which I always talk about, it was probably the Animorphs series. I was crushed when I learned that many of them were ghost-written, because I projected myself into that series hardcore.

2. What are you reading right now?

I'm reading The Scarlet Letter again for a class, plus lots and lots of poetry for my other classes, but I just finished a book and haven't picked up another yet.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?

I don't go to the library.

4. Bad book habit?

I never let anyone else read them. If I ever recommend anything, it's like, "Go out and buy your own copy of..." I'm selfish.

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?

Nothing.

6. Do you have an e-reader?

No, I don't think I'd like that. I like the feel of pages.

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?

During the school year I usually have class stuff (being an English major and all) and a fun one that I carry around. Rarely I'll have two fun books, and they're usually very different types of books.

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?

I keep track of what I read now, which is fun. I also started marking when I bought, start, and finished a book, which is a cool thing to look back on.

9. Least favorite book you read this year?

Walden, but that was a reread. No Country for Old Men.

10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?

All the John Steinbeck I've read has been great.Tigana was great, too.

11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?

Not too much. It's rare for me to read nonfiction.

12. What is your reading comfort zone?

Fiction.

13. Can you read on the bus?

If I'm alone, yeah, definitely.

14. Favorite place to read?

In the bathroom or on the couch.

15. What is your policy on book lending?

Never.

16. Do you ever dog-ear books?

I used to, so a lot of the books I've had since I was little are all dog-eared. But not anymore.

17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?

No.

18. Not even with text books?

No. For that I take notes on scrap paper.

19. What is your favorite language to read in?

English.

20. What makes you love a book?

Good writing and/or good characters. A good sense of humor is usually a plus.

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?

Nothing. I rarely ever do that unless I'm foaming at the mouth about it.

22. Favorite genre?

Fantasy, I suppose, though I don't read much of it anymore.

23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?)

Dunno. I wish someone would recommend me a good romance. I see those trashy covers and I'm immediately turned off, but I know there must be a good realistic one out there.

24. Favorite biography?

I don't read those very often.

25. Have you ever read a self-help book?

I don't think so. Does Walden count? Something makes me not trust people who want me to live the way they do.

26. Favorite cookbook?

Don't cook.

27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or nonfiction)?

I'm looking at my list and I don't see anything particularly inspirational.

28. Favorite reading snack?

Tea?

29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.

David Eddings' last series was pretty bad. Well, I only read the first book, but I assume it was all like that. The hype was basically from myself, though. That was the first time I ever wrote a "blog" type thing, my freshman year of high school. I was so excited and had no other outlet for it. Too bad it sucked.

30. How often do you agree with critics about a book?

Sometimes. "The critics" are never unanimous, though.

31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?

Fine. Whatever. Who even reads what I write?

32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose?

Any. Though I wouldn't want it to be a struggle. Reading Italian is still hard work for me, at least in terms of vocabulary. I'd want it to be like reading English.

33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?

Hm... Maybe The Divine Comedy. But it was awesome. And I went into that totally blind. I'm reading bits of it in my Italian class now and I'm really starting to grasp what an achievement and how... impactful that poem is. I have a modern Italian poetry class immediately after that other class, and the poets of the modern era are still wrestling with Dante. It's amazing.

34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?

Ulysses, I guess, though I did begin it. Put it down pretty quickly. Will retry it someday.

35. Favorite poet?

I really don't know poetry in much detail, so my "favorites" are really patchy, small samplings from a handful of people. There's a couplet in Robert Lowell's "Near the Ocean" that is maybe my favorite written thing ever, but I'm not sure I even like his other stuff. Primo Levi's "La chiocciola" points its finger at me like Franny and Zooey does, or James Joyce's "A Little Cloud," so I do love that one, but that's the only poem of his I've read. I like Wallace Stevens.

36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?

Zero.

37. How often have you returned book to the library unread?

Probably only research books.

38. Favorite fictional character?

Oh, sheesh, pass.

39. Favorite fictional villain?

Perhaps Zandramas, or The Man with the Thistle-Down Hair from Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, or Cathy from East of Eden.

40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation?

Whatever I'm reading at the time.

41. The longest I’ve gone without reading.

A few weeks, probably.

42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.

There have been lots of them.

43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?

Depends on what I'm reading and where. My dog hates when I read. You can see the look in her eyes. It, like, offends her. So she puts her head into the book and cries. That's distracting.

44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?

Silence of the Lambs.

45. Most disappointing film adaptation?

It.

46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?

A couple hundred. I bought all the Harry Potter books in hardcover one time. That was a lot of money.

47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?

Only when I'm really anticipating it. Like, I'm going to skim the shit out of Towers of Midnight.

48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?

Boredom. Finding something better.

49. Do you like to keep your books organized?

Yup.

50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?

Keep them.

51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?

Tons. I've been avoiding the last book of the North and South trilogy, and I don't know why. I liked the first two a lot. The print is just so small and I think I need to get glasses.

52. Name a book that made you angry.

Eragon.

53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?

Gone With the Wind. Godless by Anne Coulter was also really funny. I laughed aloud, which I did not expect. Sorry, Blogspot won't let me unitalicize this line.

54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?

The David Eddings one I mentioned. The Elder Gods or The Younger Gods or whatever.

55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?

No guilt! Any reading is good reading.

Pan-Pacs Wrap Up

2010-08-26T21:06:00.010-04:00

I'm way late on this, but a wrap of the women's events and a little on the men's:

50 freestyle: Jessica Hardy won in 24.63, followed by Amanda Weir in 24.7, then Canada's Victoria Poon in 24.76. Hardy really kind of bombed at Nationals, so it's nice to see her on top again, especially after her Olympic ban. It looks like she's a bit weaker on her back-half in the post-suit era, but her sprint freestyle and breast stroke both look strong. Compared to European Championships, Hardy would have taken silver behind Therese Alshammar, though, admittedly there were a few top women missing over there.

100 freestyle: USA went 1-2 here, as well, with Natalie Coughlin surprisingly winning in 53.67, then Dana Vollmer and Australia's Emily Seebohm tying for silver in 53.96. That's a great win for Coughlin, considering she's only been back in competition for about a year now. Seebohm, though - I think she's the one to watch here. Not that she's totally green, but she has to be the biggest rising star in women's swimming right now, I'd say.

200 freestyle: University of Georgia went gold and silver in the finals with Allison Schmitt and Morgan Scroggy taking the top spots in 1:56.10 and 1:57.13, respectively, while Australia's Blair Evans nabbed bronze in 1:57.27. Dana Vollmer went a time that would have won silver out of the B-final, but there was a rule that only two swimmers from each country could be present in the A-final, and she hadn't been fast enough in the preliminaries. Good swims across the board, though. It's nice to see that Pellegrini over in Europe was the only 1:55 this year; those were becoming far too pedestrian with the tech-suits.

400 freestyle: This was a really interesting event for the US, but it made me a bit confused. Chloe Sutton won in a great 4:05.19, which is so nice to see. She comes off as a bit cocky in some interviews I've seen, but she was genuinely overjoyed about winning this, so you couldn't help but root for her. She was followed up by Australia's Katie Goldman in 4:05.84, then Blair Evans in 4:06.36. All fine and good. However, the confusion came because Pan-Pacs served as a Trials meet for next year's Worlds. Katie Hoff won Nationals in 4:05.50 but did not advance to the final at Pan-Pacs, while Kate Ziegler won the B-final at Pan-Pacs in 4:05.52. I guess that they're taking the top times from the finals of both Nationals and Pan-Pacs as the qualifying standards for Worlds, because apparently Hoff and Sutton are swimming this in 2011, even though Hoff didn't final at Pan-Pacs. Sucks for Ziegler, getting nipped out by .02, but she's still got two events under her belt.

800 freestyle: Kate Ziegler's baaack. Won in 8:21.59, which was second only to Rebecca Adlington in the world rankings this year. That's only 3 seconds off her best time, which, considering what she's bouncing back from, is not shabby at all. Very exciting - our distance events were hurting last year, and between Ziegler coming back and Sutton coming up, we're in a much stronger position now. Sutton came in second in 8:24.77 and Australia's Katie Goldman got third in 8:26.38.

1500 freestyle: Melissa Gorman of Australia won in 16:01.53, Ziegler in second in 16:03.26, then Chile's Kristel Kobrich in 16:06.57. It'll be interesting to see if and how Ziegler revamps in this event over the next year. Also nice to see Chile beating out the big swimming countries to get on the medal stand.

50 backstroke: A usual suspect, Sophie Edington of Australia, won in 27.83, then Aya Terakawa of Japan in 28.04, then a three-way tie for bronze, with Emily Thomas of New Zealand, Rachel Bootsma of USA, and Fabiola Molina of Brazil all going 28.44. Must have been crowded on the bronze step. As an American fan, it's also nice to Bootsma get up there; she broke a minute in the 100 during the tech-suit era, so it's nice to see her hold onto some speed. We also don't trial for the stroke 50s for Worlds, so assuming she made the team with that swim, it'll be nice to have someone who already has an international medal to represent us there.

100 backstroke: Emily Seebohm won in 59.45, then Terakawa again in 59.59, then Coughlin in 59.70. Seebohm, seriously, is the future of Australian women's swimming. Barring disaster she should be huge in London in 2012. I suspect she's the only one out there who could break 59 again in the near future. (Maybe Coughlin, too, if she gets back into tippity-top form, but it'll be interesting to see.) It's confusing, though, because according to Swimming World, Elizabeth Pelton went a 1:00.15 to win the B-final, while Missy Franklin did the same time in the A-final, so who gets to swim it at Worlds? I would say Franklin, but I saw an interview that said it was Pelton. Confusing. Whatever.

200 backstroke: Elizabeth Beisel squeaked onto the team in this event at Nationals, then took gold here in 2:07.83. Elizabeth Pelton went faster than that in the prelims, but took silver in 2:08.10, followed by Australia's Belinda Hocking in 2:08.60. Missy Franklin went a bit faster in the B-final, though, so Pelton will not swim this event at Worlds. I think.

50 breaststroke: Jessica Hardy won in 30.03. A freestyle-breaststroke double is a rare thing to see indeed, especially with the 50 freestyle, but Hardy pulled it off handily. Not terribly far off the world record she set last year, either. Leiston Pickett and Leisel Jones of Australia way behind in 30.75 and 30.78.

100 breaststroke: I would argue that this was the most impressive swim of the meet, at least for the women. Rebecca Soni won in 1:04.93, which is the fastest time in a textile suit, the third-fastest time ever behind only Jessica Hardy's world record of 1:04.45, to which she has not even come close without a tech-suit, and Soni's own gold-medal swim from Rome, which was a 1:04.84, I believe. Leisel Jones got silver in a quick 1:05.66, while Sarah Katsoulis got bronze, way back in 1:07.04. Jones is still kicking, but I think Soni is inarguably the queen of breaststroke right now.

200 breaststroke: Everyone was looking for a world record here, but Soni missed it by about half a second, winning in 2:20.69. She was still way out ahead of the pack, though, as Jones and Canada's Annamay Pierse duked it out for second, going 2:23.23 and 2:23.65, respectively. I don't see that world record standing beyond the scope of Soni's career, though. She's too good right now.

50 butterfly: Australia took gold and silver with Marieke Guehrer and Seebohm in 25.99 and 26.08. I didn't watch this one, so I didn't realize Seebohm got another medal here. Very versatile. Can't wait to see her get better and better. Christine Magnuson of the US got bronze in 26.33.

100 butterfly: Dana Vollmer won in 57.56, followed by Magnuson in 57.95 and Alicia Coutts of Australia in 57.99. Vollmer and Magnuson both have 57.3's to their credit from earlier this season, though. Vollmer's American record of 56.9 (56.94, I believe) likely will go down within this Olympic cycle. Vollmer made a comment about the tech-suits that I thought was interesting; she said something about her underwaters feeling great in the suits, but the material and the fit made her actual swimming uncomfortable. Since her underwaters are not really her strength, it makes sense that she's still going fast.

200 butterfly: Jessica Schipper won her pet event in 2:06.90, just nipping Theresa Crippen and Kathleen Hersey in 2:06.93 and 2:07.27. Good times for the two Americans. Crippen was strong at NCAAs, so it's nice to see her carry on, while Hersey's bouncing back from a pretty lackluster college season. She said something about training with Eddie Reese (I think) for this summer, which I WISH she had elaborated on. Is she ditching Kim Brackin?! Also, the world times in this event make the world record just laughable, much like the 200 IM. We do have to wait until China has a big international meet before we judge fully, but if anyone is within four seconds of that 2:01.8, I'd be mighty surprised.

200 IM: Emily Seebohm won in 2:09.93, followed by Ariana Kukors in 2:10.25 and Caitlin Leverenz in 2:11.21. Very interesting stuff here. Stephanie Rice was out with a shoulder injury, but Seebohm stepped up hugely for Australia. That is the only time ever under 2:10 which was not aided by a tech-suit, with the exception of the former world record of 2:09.72 of Yanyan Wu, who was later convicted of doping. So is it safe to say Seebohm is the fastest IMer ever? It's tricky, when the world record is still Kukors' mind-boggling 2:06.15, but it's a definite that she's the fastest one in the world now. This is also, I suppose, the slowest year in the four-year cycle, so who knows what these girls will do in the next two summers.

400 IM: Elizabeth Beisel won in a commanding 4:34.69, second-fastest in the world this year, then Australia's Samantha Hamill in 4:37.84 and Caitlin Leverenz again in 4:38.03. Nice for Australia, that it has two solid IMers to rely on in the absence of Rice.

Relays: For the first time in a long time at an international meet, the US women swept the relays. It's especially nice because the 4x200 was very weak. Dana Vollmer and Katie Hoff were both far off their best times, so it's good that there's still room for improvement. The medley relay was fantastic; Australia's reign might be over in that discipline. Yolane Kukla of Australia, I haven't mentioned, but she had a weak front leg here, according to Wikipedia, of 55.51, but she's another one to watch. She's very young and her front-end speed is so good that once she can get the back-half together, she'll be quite a force in the pool.

Men's this and that: They don't interest me as much, but a couple things.

--Ryan Lochte assumed his place as the best swimmer in the world, yada yada. The swimming sites are all abuzz about the Phelps-Lochte rivalry, but honestly, is it a rivalry if one person can't really come close to the other and lacks the motivation even to try? Maybe Phelps will turn himself around, but he didn't deliver as well as he usually does at Pan-Pacs. His 100s of freestyle and butterfly were impressive, but his signature 200 butterfly was a fair bit weaker than usual, his attempt at the 400 IM was a flop, and he scratched the 200 IM. I wonder if he reads the comments about him on swim websites and finds them as annoying as I do. I mean, I'm not his biggest fan, but he's entitled to a bit of slacking, in my mind.

--Nathan Adrian rocked the sprints. The swimming websites are also very annoying in that they play up particular individuals to no end, namely Michael Phelps and Caesar Cielo, but Cielo was beaten handily by Adrian in the 50 and the 100, and also by Brent Hayden in the 100. (Cielo did win the 50 fly, though.) They also ALWAYS try to force poor Nathan Adrian into talking shit about Cielo, but he's way too classy to take their bait.

--Kitajima's back in the breaststroke. He ran away with both distances. I hope he keeps going to 2012.

OKAY, THE END.

Shout-out to shit music

2010-08-08T19:51:00.006-04:00

The radio station that we play at work has a playlist that includes maybe fifteen songs, so in the course of a twelve-hour shift, I hear this stuff a lot, and I feel the need to address the following:

HAVEN'T MET YOU YET - MICHAEL BUBLE: Look, dude, I'm worried about you. You say, "And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get." This concerns me. You're either dating parasites or you're so emotionally deficient in some area that the girls you've been with are fleeing from the lack of balance in your relationship. Work that out out before you go out and meet this dream girl, or you'll just have to write another shitty song when she's through with you.

THE ONLY EXCEPTION - PARAMORE: Whoever you're singing this song to just killed himself because you depressed the shit out of him. Pep it up, girl.

TOUCH - NATASHA BEDINGFIELD: The premise of this highly improbable song is that Natasha is walking down the street, breaks a heel and subsequently spills a cup of coffee on what I assume is some important businessman, who, rightfully pissed, cancels his meeting with "the man in the lobby." Because his schedule is so abruptly cleared, the man in the lobby decides to join Natasha at her house, where "THEY SANG" and then "THEY DANCED" and then they.... "tooouched." Okay, I call bullshit. If some dumb bitch on the street went and ruined a job opportunity for me, thereby thwarting my entire professional destiny, I would only go to her house to throw a brick through the window. You made this whole story up, Natasha.

SECOND CHANCE - SHINEDOWN: You really sound too old to me to care this much about what your mother and father think of your career. Also, lines like "I'm not angry, I'm just saying" are just filler and we can all see through it.

YOU BELONG WITH ME - TAYLOR SWIFT: I actually like this song a lot. Just putting that out there.

THE TRUTH - KRIS ALLEN: Your situation is breaking down, I gather, but if you really can't see an elephant in the room, that is your bigger concern; you need to seek an eye doctor, then clean up the floors and the avalanche.

HEY SOUL SISTER - TRAIN: I know songs rely by design on their meter, but honestly, you couldn't think of anything better for you heart to beat out of than your "untrimmed chest"? And you did such nice work in "Drops of Jupiter."

IF I WERE A BOY - BEYONCE: You're painting all men and women with a fairly broad brush, Beyonce. If I were a girl I wouldn't do that.

ACCORDING TO YOU - ORIANTHI: In this song, this girl has two guys. Guy number one thinks that the singer is as shitty as the songs she writes, like, she's stupid, she's useless, she can't do anything right, she has a lisp, her tits are different sizes, and she needs to get a bunionectomy. But then guy number two thinks she shits gold and jello shots. I tend to agree with guy number one, mainly because I believe that this girl is fabricating and exploiting her own insecurity in order to write a song and make money off it, then forcing it on me. Plus, the fact that you end the song by addressing guy number one and drifting off means he's the dominant force in your brainspace, so the whole point of the song, which is that you've seemingly conquered your dislike of guy number one, is actually negated by your very words, you dumb bitch.

CALIFORNIA GURLS - KATY PERRY: Number one, you spelled "girls" wrong and no one thinks that's cute anymore. Two, your song really suffers without the Snoop Dogg section, particularly when that "all that ass, hangin' out" line is omitted. However, I will grant a point in your favor, because you look really good in the music video and children seem not to understand the thinly-veiled innuendo of "melt your popsicle," which is a testament to your ability as a wordsmith.

THIS AFTERNOON - NICKELBACK: I do enjoy a drink here and there, but really guys, to "drink up, fall down" every day is probably not great for you. Also, your songs almost all sound the same, and I wish you hadn't come up with "Gotta Be Somebody" so I could just dislike you across the board.

3 - BRITNEY SPEARS: Oh, Britney. First, congrats on slipping by whoever chose the songs for this station, because it's way too inappropriate for the setting in which I hear it. Second, remember "Stronger," Britney? Remember when you really HAD SOMETHING TO SAY? GO BACK THAT WAY.

There will likely be additions tomorrow when I go back to work and hear the songs I missed. Over and out.

Rah rah ah ah ah

2010-08-05T12:03:00.004-04:00

--My brother and I used to have this game where we would go into the Wikipedia entry for our hometown, put each other under the "famous residents" section and write ridiculous factoids. ("Ian is the first transsexual to medal in the gymnastics competition in the Olympic Games"; "Evan is a renowned chef and food critic who revolutionized the use of blueberry jam in Indian cooking," and so on.) The game sort of tapered off when someone at Wikipedia apparently caught on to us and began deleting these entries within minutes of posting, but still, I shouldn't have been surprised yesterday when I got a text message from someone I hadn't spoken to in a long time, asking me if I was really the voice of the dragon in the upcoming Hobbit movie.

--I went to the dentist on Tuesday and was delighted to learn that one of my fillings had cracked, and that I would have to return the following day to replace it. While it certainly put a dent in the tenuous plans for one of the few days in which I have extended time off, I can't deny that I fucking love getting fillings, and since this wasn't a new cavity, there wasn't even the guilt of being a poor brusher. I just got to get high off that awesome gas and stumble my way through awkward smalltalk when the doctor would pull his instruments out of my mouth and ask about my brother's career plans. I do tend to think about biting the poor dentist a lot when I'm on that gas, though.

--I've got front desk duty at work for three to five hours every morning, which is awesome in some ways and sucky in some others, but mostly awesome because for a while I was getting a lot reading done. I was on a huge short story kick, and read a bunch of Shirley Jackson, Lorrie Moore, Kurt Vonnegut, among others. Flannery O'Connor kind of killed it by boring me to tears with her stories, so I was able to bounce back into novels with Tigana this week, and oh my god. I had read The Lions of Al-Rassan and was pretty apathetic to it, but Tigana was just wonderful. The little things about his writing that bugged me in the former (namely, the way he uses one-sentence paragraphs and writes stuff like, "When she looked back at that moment later, she realized...") really WORKED in Tigana, and the ending just gave me a huge lump in my throat. That might be one of the best fantasies I've ever read.

--Lady Gaga's song "Christmas Tree" is great, because it's not about Christmas at all and can thus be enjoyed all year long.

--Swimming Nationals is going on right now. I'd like to do a night-by-night post, but I'm too busy and too tired at night, so I might just do one big recap when it's over. But it's refreshing to see that the times are really slow, for the most part, and a few of the people who have made the team (they're selecting for Pan-Pacs, which is in a few weeks, and also for Worlds for next year) are a bit surprising so far. Wonder how these people will hold up for the whole year.

--Early in the summer, my neighbor suggested I buy Dragon Age, and I finally did so, and then my life ended. I think it's so fun, I cannot get enough. Though when I play, it should basically be called "Dragon Age: Hooking Up With Alistair," because that's kind of all I play for. I ran halfway through on a mage campaign before I learned on Wikipedia that that route would NOT allow me to be Alistair's queen, and redid the whole thing as a rogue. Then I discovered how to mod the game and I made an even cuter mage girl for Alistair who now CAN be queen, and I am replaying it again. Oh my god, I'm such a geek.

--At work they sell Slush Puppies, whose cups have points on them which you can redeem for prizes, and every summer I think about collecting them so I can get the t-shirt, which used to cost 400 points, but now it costs 250, so I collected all the clean cups off the ground every night and have way more points than I need, so I can also get an anniversary pen and water bottle. This is how lame my summers become by August. I need to go back to school.

--My triathlon dreams died rapidly when I learned that my only opportunity to swim would be twice a week at 5 AM, and my exercise routine abruptly fell away around mid-July, but I'm still keeping it as a long-term goal, especially since I can bike, run, and swim quite easily when I do go back to school.

--On occasion I still find myself desperately missing Italy. I curl into a ball and play "Questo Piccolo Grande Amore" at full blast on my IPod and sulk for a bit. I would like to go back after graduation, I think. I looked into a Fulbright, but it seems you need to plan for that a long way in advance.

--That is all for now.

Women's Swimming News!

2010-07-16T22:36:00.004-04:00

I have decided against deletion, mostly because it's almost time for swimming nationals, and where else would I dump my weirdly eager thoughts than here, for your reading pleasure?

And on that front, I can't wait for Nationals and Pan-Pacs in a few weeks. Our women's team is steadily building up, and I think they're going to be really, really good heading toward 2012. Here's why:

The Worlds' team last year was kind of young (with Elizabeth Beisel, Elizabeth Pelton, Dagny Knutson, Chloe Sutton, etc.) and had a few gaping holes in the forms of the missing Natalie Coughlin, Katie Hoff, and Kate Ziegler, who have been World Championship mainstays for a long time now. The women's team performed admirably, I would say, particularly in light of how slow Nationals was last summer compared with Olympic Trials the summer before.

But now, even though the high-tech suits are abandoned, those young swimmers I mentioned are still doing great and steadily improving, it seems. Pelton broke the minute barrier in Paris in the 100 backstroke, an ability which was sorely missed last summer in the medley relay prelims. To do that mid-season says good things come Nationals. Beisel has consistently been under 4:40 in the 400 IM, more than anyone else in the world, I think. Sutton won the Grand Prix series and consistently matched her 800 freestyle time that won her the national title last year. And Knutson did great on the Grand Prix circuit as well, and is currently ranked 11th in the world in the 200 freestyle with a time that she did in the middle of heavy training. All good news. Also, Missy Franklin is encroaching on the backstrokes and freestyles, as well. She'll definitely be a dark horse at Nationals.

Even better, some people who REALLY broke out (or rebroke out) last summer are still consistently going great times, even without the aid of the high-tech suits. Rebecca Soni has posted far-and-away the best 200 breaststroke time in the world, 2:21.41, two seconds clear of Leisel Jones' second-ranked time. She's also been a 1:05 in the 100, only slightly slower than Jones, who was rested for her swim, I believe, while Soni was not. Dana Vollmer is also topping the world rankings right now in the 100 butterfly with a 57.39, not far at all from her American record. She's also had several solid swims in the 100 freestyle and is, I'm sure, ready to go in the 200. Ariana Kukors has been consistently in the 2:10- 2:11 range in the 200 IM, which is similar to what she did leading up to her astonishing world record from Worlds. I'm excited to see whether she can even get in striking distance of a 2:06 again. I'd be supremely impressed with even a 2:08, by any swimmer, but if she can hit below that, that'd be a superb accomplishment. Natalie Coughlin's back in action as well, though I would not be terribly surprised if she did not qualify for an individual event for Pan-Pacs at Nationals. (This is also the qualifying meet for 2011 Worlds, I believe.) I think Pelton and Rachel Bootsma, another young girl who has previously broken a minute, are usurping Coughlin as number one backstroker. Coughlin will surely make at least the freestyle relays and I think she could knock off Christine Magnuson in the 100 butterfly for the second spot, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's out for individual events. (I'd never be dumb enough to count her completely out, though. She's just so so talented.) Allison Schmitt hasn't made as much noise, yet, but she always seems to explode at the end of the season. Can't wait to see what she does.

Perhaps most exciting, though, is the resurgence of two females, Katie Hoff and Kate Ziegler. Both moved to California and are training under coaches at FAST, which is really turning into the Mecca of US women's swimming. Besides Hoff and Ziegler, Caroline Burckle, Ariana Kukors, Margaret Hoelzer, and Kara Lynn Joyce are all training there, and rumor is that Dagny Knutson is heading that way too, having forsaken her scholarship at Auburn. That is quite a training group. Hoff has posted the seventh fastest 200 freestyle in the world at 1:57.58, also the fastest American time, and a 4:06.21 in the 400 for the same rankings. Great in-season times. She's baaack, at least in the freestyles! And God knows we could use her - we would have won the 4x200 going away at Worlds if she had been there at her peak. I wonder if she's go after the IMs again. She'd definitely be a top contender in the 400. No one's touched her American record in that, though the 200 is such a fight in the US that I wonder what she'll do there. She's up against Dagny Knutson, Ariana Kukors, Elizabeth Pelton, and Julia Smit, not to mention Elizabeth Beisel and others who will almost certainly final in it at Nationals. Will be interesting! Kate Ziegler is finally swimming well again, putting up an awesome awesome 8:25 in the 800 freestyle. So happy for her. She's really the person that got me interested in swimming, women's swimming in particular, when she started busting up the distance records when she was in high school, so it's great that I can follow her again. The only bummer of their resurgences is that Chloe Sutton is likely going to be booted out of the 400 by Hoff and Allison Schmitt, and she'll struggle even to touch Ziegler in the 800. She's solid in the 1500 and of course open water swimming, but she's less competitive the shorter you go.

Can you tell I've been turning all this over in my head?

2010-07-04T22:04:00.003-04:00

I'm thinking that I'll take this page down soon. Kind of lost interest in it. I'm gonna leave it up for a bit, mull it over, but I just haven't had much to say lately. We'll see...

2010-06-08T23:36:00.001-04:00

People-watching from the lifeguard chair:

A little girl is at the pool with her mom. That awful song, "Shark in the Water," comes on over the radio. Girl listens, face gradually panicking. She turns to her mom, who is about to dip her foot into the pool, and says, "Mummy, you can't go in! There's a shark in the water!"

Books: Stranger in a Strange Land

2010-06-08T22:58:00.006-04:00

Spoilers.

I read this as the second book on my 1% Well-Read Challenge. I read, or used to read, anyway, a lot of fantasy, but my knowledge of sci-fi is still essentially nil, so I honestly didn't know what this book was when I saw it on the list. I'd only heard of it through that Billy Joel song, "We Didn't Start the Fire." So I plucked it out at random.

The story follows a human, Valentine Michael Smith, the product of a doomed Mars-exploration crew, who was born on Mars and reared by Martians. He is discovered and returned to Earth, where he starts to assimilate into human culture and teach humanity about the Martian approach to life, which is essentially non-violent and free-loving.

I did not like this book. It had its moments, particularly at the beginning. Reading as Mike gradually felt his way into American society was fun and well-done, I thought, as were the reactions of the people who eventually came his quasi-adoptive family. But simply on the level of plot, it totally unraveled for me at the end. Once he's established on our planet, Mike, along with former nurse, Jill, who became Mike's caretaker and friend on Earth, creates a church which teaches Martian language and seeks out individuals who will become part of this Martian movement on Earth. Thinking in Martian and adopting this free-love lifestyle eventually gives one superpowers, including control over your own body (in terms of aging, illness, etc.) and the ability to banish "wrong" things from the universe. Heinlein indicates that this Martian self-discipline should be a model for how we should live, and thereby rid ourselves of suffering, pain, and, most of all, jealousy, which he posits is the basis of all relationship problems among humans.

Fine, whatever. I don't think that it's possible to say that, but fine, if that's what you want to believe. But rather than persuade me that this is how we should live, I actually found myself seriously creeped out by the church which Mike establishes. In the early part of the novel, Mike cannot comprehend the reason for laughter and is actually afraid of it. Eventually he realizes that laughter is always used to comfort ourselves for our suffering. (Which, again, I don't think that's true. Don't you ever just laugh out of sheer joy?) And once he figures that out, he gets humor. Later, the people who join his church do not laugh anymore. This is only commented on in passing, but I hung on that sentence because I found it so disturbing. How can that be the way we should live if there's no laughter? The people in the church, who "grow closer" by having sex with everyone of the opposite sex, take on a plasticity which reminded me of real-life cults. It's like the interviews I've seen of people from the Manson Family and stuff like that. And, I mean, I'm not against sex, and I think the book is right in its discussion of that. We are, as a society, pretty clenched in regard to sex. But if loosening up turned us into these people? No thanks. Their substance is all in one-liners and rituals and devotion to someone else, and the stuff of their personality is gone. Some of the people in Mike's church literally change their appearances so they can look like each other and, as they say, be essentially interchangeable. I just didn't understand what Heinlein was getting at. That, to me, changes human culture into something almost insectile, which is what is frightening to me about communism. Sure, the body might work as a harmonious whole, but where does the individual go? Do we want to live like that, just one part among a billion other equal parts? Where we, as a ONE, do not really matter? And what becomes of us when there is no suffering? Where do art and music and writing go? So much of what we are springs out of our suffering. To do away with that would do away with so much that I think is fundamental about human existence.

And another thing. Mike, and later, the others, are able to "grok" (understand) "wrongness" and banish it from existence. But that is way too simple. Mike banishes a gun that is pointed at him. Guns, he groks, are a wrongness. But what if the gun is needed for survival? Self-defense? Food? Is it a wrongness then? And he banishes people who are "wrong." But is a man always a wrongness? What if he's wrong in that moment, but before or after, is not? What then? How can you justify completely ending his existence? It's not as simple as Heinlein seems to suggest, and he never addresses that enough.

Also, I think there's an inherent failure in a book that constantly says stuff like, "Mike knew the idea in Martian, but could not put it into English" when that book is written in English. Inter-language stuff is so hard to render well, and I think Heinlein frequently failed in that regard. Aside from the fact that it's almost absurd to think that humans would be capable of learning Martian.

Plus, a lot of this book is just flat out boring. Another of Mike's caretaker/friends is this guy, Jubal, who is basically a mouthpiece: he's rolling in cash, a genius, and always has some quip. There are literally conversations that go on for pages and pages where Jubal just talks on some philosophical point, and the other person occasionally tosses in a "Uh..." or "Well, I guess...." It's not great writing. It's like Terry Goodkind-level bad writing. Also, the female characters are STALE, man, and by the end they lose all personality that they had. They're all gorgeous and brilliant but for some reason allow themselves to be trampled on and bossed around all the time. It's kind of a creepy fantasy come true: they're perfect, physically and mentally, but they'll shut up and go away when you want them to. The book is loaded with sexism and the occasional homophobia, which shows its age. (Homosexuality was actually, if I recall, listed as a "wrongness" which Mike would instinctively understand and be able to do away with/avoid.)

Another thing! (Bad transitions, Ian...) I haven't read much sci-fi, as I said, but from what I have read: why is it ALWAYS that HUMANS are the ones that need teaching? Why is it always the pacificist outsider who comes in and shows us the error of our ways? Why can't it be an even trade, or why can't we teach another species something?

Get why it was big when it was published in the sixties, but for my money, it's really outdated. Pass. I'm curious about Starship Troopers and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, though, so maybe I'll have more luck there.

Everyone shout out words that describe my beauty

2010-04-21T10:16:00.010-04:00

--This blog is going to be three years old this summer. That is a lot of shit that I've been shoveling.

--I played Warcraft (Warcraft III, as I'm too cheap for World of Warcraft) on the European server yesterday and got absolutely schooled. Granted, I have not played in six months and I was playing with the touchpad on my laptop instead of an actual mouse, but wow it was embarrassing. I was becoming really good with the Warden last semester, but yesterday I failed like you wouldn't believe. Touche, Europe, touche.

--Also, I found a game on my computer called "My Tribe" which is not fun but which I could not stop playing last week. It gives you like six people who are stranded on an island (but not in a tragic way - they were exploring the world and "stopped" there and all think about how much they love it) and you have to build them houses and make babies, and that's basically it. And eventually all my babies were sired by the same guy because he had the highest physical strength and I wanted all my babies to be able to build houses really fast, so then they had to have children together once they grew up and I felt weird about that. Also, the game continues playing when the computer's off, and each year in their lives is like 20 minutes, so they all died off one night when I forgot to breed them before I went to bed, and I had nothing but tombstones the next morning. And I really was addicted to this.

--Lately I've been having really scenic dreams. There isn't much else going on in them, but I had one in some tropical island paradise that was really blue and had some underwater obstacle course going on. I was swimming around in it with some friends and also some people from high school whose names I couldn't remember because they were in my brother's grade and I didn't actually know them. I do remember, however, that one of them threw the javelin for track and field and one time literally struck and killed a goose in flight, so maybe that's why I remembered his face, at least. The second dream took place in an underground cave that was all misty and dark, and I was with this girl who told me that inside was a museum where you could see an exhibit on what you'd be like when you would an adult. I thought that was an awfully poetic thing for my subconscious to come up with, though my own exhibit in the museum made no sense. Then it suddenly turned into a really scary nightmare when my exhibit came alive and I woke up sweaty.

--I'm forcing myself into liking Elvis, which has so far consisted of keeping the song "Moody Blue" on an infinite loop. I cannot get enough of it. "Kentucky Rain" isn't bad either.

--In that vein, embarrassing things about on my I-Pod:
1. I have six covers of the song "Romeo and Juliet" and three are in my Top 25 Most Played.
2. There are two complete Jimmy Buffett CD's in there.
3. I only have four of Britney Spears' songs, which is not embarrassing, but the fact that I have played "You Drive Me Crazy" (obviously the ''Stop Remix'') an awful lot is. Britney lost me after "I'm a Slave 4 U" (anyone who writes a song title like that loses me), when she started that "breathe heavy and sing-talk" that she does now, but that old stuff is still good when you're working out.
4. The Italian song "Fila la lana" by Fabrizio de Andre is on my workout playlist, and not by accident. (My version is a bit peppier than that video, though.)
5. As recorded by I-Tunes, I have spent almost three complete days of my life listening to my most played song, and I sadly listen to it much, much more on YouTube than I do on my I-Pod.
6. The sheer amount of Christmas music, and the sheer fact that Celtic Woman is present.

--I'm reading Great Expectations and liking it. It's also on the list for my reading challenge thingy, so I guess I've already started that, too. Reading very slowly lately, though.

--We have to do a final presentation here, and my group decided to do a film together. The premise is to kind of skewer some of the more ridiculous aspects of academic and social life here in Perugia (such as one teacher who taught us Chinese history and the nine future tenses of English in an Italian language class, and another professor whose voice is about as comprehensible as radio static). It's a funny idea, but I'm so checked out academically that I planned on just whipping something together on my own the night before and was evidently not on board with the movie even after I said yes to that instead. And there was much difficulty in getting us together because of travel and that dumbass volcano and blah blah blah, so I told one group member that I might flake out and just whip up my own thing. She then sent out a Facebook message to everyone asking what was up, and another group member totally called me out on my shit because he didn't realize that I was included in the message. Which I so deserved - I'm very apathetic about this and I hate group projects. But oh, I was just so embarrassed on his behalf because he had to send out another message seven minutes later, when he clearly just realized I was included, and it was all halting and full of emoticons and "didn't mean to sound like a douche." I'm glad he's cool enough that he can still look me in the face, because I'd be MORTIFIED if I'd done that, no matter how much I deserved it.

--But we did finally come up with a script that will be pretty funny, if we're allowed to do it.

--My parents will be on Italian soil in seven days and I CAN'T WAIT. It's going to be so ridiculous. And I get to go to Venice again, which is perhaps my favorite place in the small subset of the world that I have seen.

--My classes are very boring right now, mostly because, as I've said, I'm checked out. They literally do not count for anything except attendance, which is, of course, not terribly motivating. However, I do have one that's kind of fun, because there's an Egyptian guy in it, and the teacher lets us talk about deep shit like the role of women in the workplace and which styles of government works best. (Well, as deep as we're able to talk about that kind of stuff, anyway.) And his opinions are all: women should just stay home and dictators aren't that bad and stuff like that, which makes some delightfully uncomfortable silences. Also, he often does not understand the main point of someone's sentence, so his responses to other people are fun, too. ("It is not okay for him to make a law that specifically protects him alone." "Yes, but he makes the laws, so it is okay that he makes a law." "THAT IS NOT THE POINT!")

--You know when you see a lot of ants on the floor and you start to think about how they got in and why they're here and then you start to itch because it feels like they're all over you? Right now.

--My favorite thing in the whole world right now is the videos of the Tea Party movement on YouTube. On the one hand it frightens me that people who are so ragingly ignorant and unwillingly to listen to anything but what they want to believe are mobilizing. (And believe me, I myself am nothing if not ragingly ignorant, but I recognize that and that's why I'm not mobilizing.) But some of those videos are just fantastic. My favorite person is the first woman in this video, with the balloons on her head. I do think the interviewer is very annoying, but I love when that lady's like, "Oh, well, I work in the trenches, I'm a nurse." Because, one, as if that automatically trumps anything anyone else can say (I hate when people are so sure and righteous that what they do is MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU DO), and, two, no, you actually work in a hospital, which is tough, and I respect very much, and both my parents do it, and they work very hard and very long hours, but that is not technically working in a trench, my friend. I also love the woman who comes in at 1:18 in this video, which is technically not a Tea Party video but along the same lines. I love later when she's screaming "When's the first time you heard of OBAMA" in that crazy accent and thinks that means she won, and, gosh, that part at 3:31 is just glorious, when you think it's something else and then it's like OH SHE'S BACK. "Oh, are you muting this, sir?" I've probably watched that 70 times. I want to meet her.

--I had my last class of translation the other day, and the teacher asked me what I would do now. I told her I had to go back to work, and she asked me what I did, and I told her. And she said, "But how will Italian serve you being a lifeguard?" She thought that was my permanent occupation. And at this rate...

--A new Pokemon game is out and I cannot wait to get it. In other news, I will be 21 in three months, but am still partially trapped in 1999, when Pokemon was still an acceptable thing for me to be playing and thinking about.

--I think this is the most I've ever talked about video games. I swear they aren't really that important to me.

--I think that's all. Later.

Books: No Country For Old Men

2010-04-14T16:32:00.005-04:00

I cannot put my finger on this book. Cormac McCarthy has a style unlike anything else I've ever read. You could pull out a page of his work and recognize immediately. There are no quotation marks, there are no apostrophes in contractions, there are very few commas. When I read The Road, I clicked with that style immediately. To me, it really worked with the fact that there was nothing left in the world. Everything had been so destroyed by some disaster that even fundamentals of written language had been burned away. I don't know if that's what he was going for (and probably not, since he just writes like that in general), but it worked.

Here, I don't know. It worked for me sometimes; McCarthy's a master, and even a dumbshit like myself can see that. But I personally wasn't gripped like I was with The Road. The sparsity of the language made me feel like I was missing something in this book, instead of being invited into something. I was constantly asking myself, "What's going on here? How can I go deeper?" But I couldn't come up with any answers. There's a review on the back of my copy that calls this his most accessible book, but not for me. I felt shut out of something.

The book deals with this guy, Moss, who finds a car full of heroin and $2 million out in the desert. Obviously some sort of drug battle occurred. He takes the money and runs, but is pursued by a hitman, Chirugh.

Chirugh is fucking scary, man. I had seen the movie adaptation and almost none of it stuck. (I felt kind of the same way after I saw the movie as I did when I finished the book.) There is one aspect of this character that did, though. He carries around a coin, and a few times he flips it and tells a person to call it, without naming the stakes, which are, in reality, whether the person lives or dies. There's a really chilling and wonderful discussion between Chirugh and Moss' wife at the end of the novel that delves into the relation between fate and human decision, one of the few times in the whole book that I really clicked with the text. This in particular:

She looked away. You make it like it was the coin. But you're the one.

That line. I don't know why, but I kept going back to it.

I like the title of this book a lot, too. No reference is made to Yeats' "Sailing to Byzantium" in the text that I can see (though there is, of course, a good chance I'm wrong), but there are echoes of the feeling of a "dying generation" in the reminiscences of Sheriff Bell which weave through the plot.

It's McCarthy, so it's good stuff, but so much is over my head. Maybe you'll have better luck with it.

1% Well-Read Challenge

2010-04-07T06:14:00.003-04:00

When I'm reunited with my to-be-read pile, I think I'm gonna start on this reading challenge, where you have to read 13 books from that list of 1001 within a year. I went through the list, and while I think it's a little lacking, particularly in the pre-1700 section, there's a lot of good stuff on there that I own and have been meaning to read, or stuff that I've never heard of. It'll give me a good excuse to pick up things that I've put down, too, like Vanity Fair and maybe Middlemarch.

Anyhoozle, I skimmed the list and picked out the ones I'd already read, which aren't terribly many. But that's kind of a positive, I guess; more opportunity to read.

Life of Pi
Atonement
A Fine Balance
The Things They Carried
Love in the Time of Cholera
The Handmaid's Tale
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The Shining
The Bell Jar
A Clockwork Orange
Franny and Zooey
Catch-22
To Kill a Mockingbird
Lolita
Lord of the Flies
Casino Royale
The Catcher in the Rye
1984
Animal Farm
The Grapes of Wrath
Of Mice and Men
The Hobbit
Gone With the Wind
A Farewell to Arms
The Great Gatsby
Siddhartha
The House of Mirth
Dracula
Walden
Uncle Tom's Cabin
Moby-Dick
The Scarlet Letter
Wuthering Heights
Jane Eyre
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Pit and the Pendulum
The Fall of the House of Usher
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame
Last of the Mohicans
Pride and Prejudice
Sense and Sensibility
Candide
A Modest Proposal
Gulliver's Travels
Robinson Crusoe

Also have read bits of If On a Winter's Night a Traveler in Italian. Don't know how it is in translation, but God help anyone with that one if it's anything like the original text.

Wonderful Magical Pisa

2010-04-05T19:18:00.007-04:00

--It is a wonderful feeling to go into an oral exam for a class in which I literally understood not one word, and come out with a good score. Thank you, old cinema professor with the incomprehensibly gravelly voice, you validated all those mindless hours of school here.

--Our program was given almost a week off after exams. Plan was to go to Sicily. Fell through. Regrouped and tried to go to Cinque Terre. Impossible during Easter. Day trips were last option. Mostly failed in this regard. But this is fine. Easter is a lovely time of year here in Perugia, because people from all over Italy came and set up stands in the center. You could walk down the street and buy a cannoli, a beer, a sausage, cheese, another cannoli, fresh-squeezed lemon juice, and a crazy Tom and Jerry clock.

--I did end up going to Pisa one day with my friend Amanda. Everyone forewarned us. "Pisa is the most boring tourist trap ever. I hate it there. Everyone hates it there." We were ready for this. It was a three hour train ride each way. We planned to spend maybe five hours there, max. "We'll take the dumb picture that looks like we're holding up the tower, then we'll leave." This was the plan.

--So we went. It was raining when we left here, and drizzly when we switched trains in Florence. We had a pleasant conversation with a man in the sandwich shop. We were the only Americans he had ever seen who liked the carbonated water that they're so crazy about here. The fact that this kind of conversation can even take place in my life is mind-bogglingly lovely to me. I am speaking another language, I am understanding, and I am being understood. Nuts. Dream come true.

--We arrived in Pisa and it was a beautiful day. Pisa seemed to us to be a semi-large city, streets lined with shops and stuff, but it was remarkably uncrowded in the area outside the tower. I don't know what it was - just the weather, and the general atmosphere - but we both said at the same time, within five minutes of being there, "I think I actually like it here." We went to a cafe where we were served by perhaps the hottest man I have ever seen. We wandered without guidance, suddenly enchanted by it all. "My instincts are telling me that the tower is this way," I said at an intersection and pointed one way. We looked the other way and saw the tower.

--We sprawled out on the lawn across from the tower, and I don't even know why or how, but the whole experience suddenly became perfect. We were on this lawn with Italian children playing a game all around us. We figured out the game - one kid was the strega, and he would say a color, then the other kids would have to run to touch something of that color. The sun was bright and hot and were surrounded by tourists, looking up at this ridiculous tower, and it really is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. I mean, if it were straight it would kind of look like what I imagine Beldin's tower to look like in The Belgariad, but it's just like

It's just there, all tippy like that. I almost wanted it to fall to put it out of its misery, but that would have ruined the perfect moment. And it was a perfect moment. Amanda said, "I am just so happy right now."

--We decided not to take the stupid pictures of us trying to hold the tower up. We were suddenly all about Pisa, and thus way above such passing frippery. We were not above getting a t-shirt, but when we saw that the only ones available all had Snoopy or some other cartoon character holding up the tower, we were above it. We bought fresh coconut from a gypsy and it was disgusting. We wanted to go climb the tower, but it cost fifteen euro and that's too much, considering how much we love Pisa.

--Even in spite of these disappointments we were so happy that we began thinking of getting a room in a hostel and staying for a couple days, wandering the streets, finding our favorite spots, beyond the realm of tourism, meeting and connecting with locals. Sprawled out on the grass, we drank pear juice and started constructing elaborate fantasies about our future lives in Pisa. "We'll find mates and mate with them and teach our children that strega game." "Yeah, they'll love it."

--But then the train came and we left. But still - there was something magical in that Friday sunlit Pisa lawn.

Books: Nineteen Minutes

2010-03-27T15:56:00.006-04:00

I admit it, I snobbishly avoided Jodi Picoult for a long time, number one because of covers like that, and number two, because she is so popular. But actually, weirdly enough, Stephen King made a comment about Stephenie Meyer once, saying how popular doesn't mean good, she's a terrible writer and everything, and offhand said something in comparison, like, "Like take Jodi Picoult, she's a terrific writer." So then she was on my radar in a more positive sense. And since I've read or own literally every other English book available to me here, I plucked one of hers out at random two days ago.

Could not put it down. I actually see her, if this book is any indicator, as something akin to Stephen King, in a writing sense. I see King as not a really great writer. I can only remember a handful of times in all of his books that I've read that I thought, damn, he really worded that beautifully. The end of It, in particular. But usually his real skill is as a storyteller, in crafting a story that is gripping and works. And I am not knocking that at all. David Eddings wrote my favorite books ever and he is very much that type of writer. There were a few moments in here where I did admire her phrasing and use of language, but overall I was so gripped by the story that I did not even stop to note them like I usually do. Despite the cover, this book is about a school shooting, and how the ramifications of that affect the family of the shooter, Peter, and the town. It also focuses on a girl, Josie, who used to be friends with the shooter but later moved into the "popular crowd," and her mother, the judge who presides over the case.

Okay, like I said, couldn't put it down. I'm fascinated by the Columbine massacre, in the same way I'm fascinated by the Manson Family and the BTK Killer and all that kind of stuff. I'm fascinated by people who have something off. After I finished East of Eden and was riveted by the way Steinbeck wrote the character of Cathy, a spiritual monster, I looked up reviews and was kind of stunned that people find that to be one of the weakest aspects of the book. But all I could think of was stuff like this. Because aren't there some people who are just MISSING something? Isn't that the only way that horrors like this can happen? This book brought all that stuff up to the surface, which I loved. Plus, the ruminations from the mother and the people on the periphery were sometimes really really excellent. Good stuff.

But then I finished, and reflected for a bit. And, like I said, I did really enjoy it. I read more in the last two days than I have in two weeks. But these are my beefs with it.

1. Almost the entire shooting scenario was lifted from Columbine, noticeably so, if you know even a little bit about that. Which I don't buy. I think that those two guys from Columbine were enraged. I've seen the video and read testaments from victims that day. Those guys were at pissed at everyone. They shot at anyone in sight, as did the kid in the book, which, as I said, I don't buy. Peter wasn't bullied from every corner, and he didn't seem to have the same kind of rage that the kids from Columbine did. He was quiet and sensitive, which, from what I gather, is not what those real two shooters were. I think their depression came from within, while the guy's in the book was inflicted on him. So I don't think it makes sense to plop almost the exact same scenario on this kid, when his personality is so different. I think that Peter would have targeted specific kids to kill, which he did not.

2. Okay, high school. Was your high school divided into cliques? Like teen-movie style? In this book, there are the "popular kids," who are the football/hockey jocks, and the losers, and the smart kids, whatever other groups. My high school was not really like this. There were certainly "popular" kids, and many of them were athletes, but they were not all assholes across the board, and they were certainly not all stupid. There were a couple guys on our football team who were ranked in the top 20 of my class, and I can think of at least one who also did theater and chorus. It wasn't like you had your "group" and you never were allowed to talk to anyone outside it and all you did was deride people in other cliques. It was way more fluid than that. I mean, there's football season, but then, for example, so many of them ran track, which brought in a whole different set of people from football. The only real "clique" that I can think of - and not to stereotype, but this is just what I noticed - was the theater kids, and they perpetuated that because I think some of them wanted to believe in the Hollywood clique stereotype. There's a part in the book where a popular kid shoots a spitball at someone and says he does it to maintain the status quo. Something like, "If there wasn't a them, there wouldn't be an us." Which really took me out of the story, because, in my experience, that is not real. Not in high school. I think we like to hang onto that idea of high school, but that's not what it was really like. Not for me, at least.

The bullying here is also really overdone. Peter is knocked over, pushed into lockers, pantsed in the cafeteria, has spitballs thrown at him. That, too. That stuff happened in middle school, which, in my mind, is a muuuuch crueler time than high school. There were fights in high school, all the time, but it was usually people who knew each other. There wasn't that kind of "blatant picking on the loser kid" in high school. It was more behind-your-back stuff. I think Mean Girls relied on a lot of those dumb clique stereotypes, but I think Rachel McAdams is so good in that movie because her character really brings out a lot of that chillier high school meanness. Obviously exaggerated, but the core of it is pretty true.

I'm not explaining this well. But certain aspects of high school in this book did not ring true for me. It relied too much on what we imagine, when what I, at least, experienced was more complicated than that. The stereotype is only half true. Which I think is probably what makes it hard to write about high school convincingly. There's a lot of shit going on there, a lot of trivial shit that you'd somehow have to make seem important. Tough. I haven't found many people who have passed that time and can still write about it convincingly.

God, I have no focus in these book reviews anymore. Whatever. Anyway, good book, on the whole. Good story, and a bit of twist at the end. Will pick up more from her.

D1 WOMEN'S NCAA DAY THREE

2010-03-21T15:41:00.006-04:00

This was such a good meet in terms of the team battle. First place switched over and over.

1. 1,650 freestyle: No surprise here. Wendy Trott won in 15:48.87, a bit slower than her seed time. Aemisegger out of Princeton was a pretty distant second, while Lauren Boyle out of Cal took third. That swim pushed Georgia into the lead with 282.5, then Cal at second with 272, Arizona and Stanford tied at 266.5, and Florida with 248.

2. 200 backstroke: Huge stunner here. Kate Fesenko out of Indiana upset three-time defending champion Gemma Spofforth, 1:49.92 to 1:50.24. This event is cursed - no one has ever won it four years in a row, and it seems that anyone who tries gets shot down in her senior year. (Natalie Coughlin had the same thing happen to her, which prevented her from being the only collegiate swimmer from going a perfect 12 for 12 in individual races.) Teresa Crippen picked up some additional points for Florida, though, with a third place 1:50.99, while Arizona racked up a bunch with a lot of the lower places. After this event, Arizona moved into first with 303.5, then Georgia at 289.5, Florida at 281, California at 272, and Stanford at 266.5

3. 100 freestyle: I liked this one - at least one Texan team came to play this weekend. Julia Wilkinson out of A&M topped this one in 47.61. In second was Georgia's Morgan Scroggy in 47.72, then California's Liv Jensen claimed third in 47.77. Morgan Scroggy is such a good swimmer, I can't wait for the day she gets an individual title of her own. And Liv Jensen had a phenomenal meet this year. Cal's got some tough underclassmen. Julia Smit, who placed top three last year, only grabbed seventh in 48.15, which may have cost Stanford the team win. Maybe she should have done the 200 backstroke instead. Anyway, after this race, the placing switched again, with Georgia and Arizona tied at 310.5, followed by Stanford at 302.5, Cal at 299 and Florida at 296.

4. 200 breaststroke: Alia Atkinson made it two in a row for A&M with a win in 2:07.38. Good meet for them, eh? Stanford's Elizabeth Smith finished second in 2:07.50, then Arizona's Ann Chandler in 2:07.68. Also good to see Moriarty out of UNC in the A-final, even if she only did get eighth. Anyway, this gave Arizona the lead with 326.5 points, and Stanford slide into second with 319.5. California at third with 318, while Georgia fell to fourth with 310.5. Florida stayed at fifth with 296.

5. 200 butterfly: I was wrong! I underestimated Elaine Breeden. She defended in style with a 1:52.39 win, followed by Katinka Hosszu in 1:52.52 and Lyndsay DePaul in 1:53.19, both out of USC. I wonder if the suits affected Hosszu much; I really did expect her to win something. Kathleen Hersey redeemed her team a bit with a fourth place finish, while Teresa Crippen did what I imagine was an excruciating double with the 200 back here to get fifth in 1:53.90, followed by teammate Jemma Lowe in 1:54.05. Those points were HUGE for Florida. Stanford led after that with 339.5 points, then Arizona with 335.5. California at 329, Florida at 323 and Georgia 312.5.

6. Platform diving: I normally wouldn't mention this because I don't know anything about diving, but Florida made a huge move here. They were the only one of the top teams to have people in this event, and they scored third and eighth, which moved them into first with 350 points. Just goes to show how EVERY SINGLE POINT matters at this meet - platform diving essentially shut out the other four teams, as long as Florida made good on the last event...

7. 4x100 relay: Stanford did win it in 3:12.32, but Florida hung on for third behind Cal, which gave them just enough points for the team title. Final tally is just awesome, Florida edging Stanford by 2.5 points, 382 to 379.5, followed by Cal in 363, Arizona in 359.5 and Georgia in 342.5.

--Loved this meet. I'm glad to see the suits go, even with the slower times, because we know for SURE that these swims were the swimmer alone, and everyone had a level playing field. It also makes Julia Smit's IM American records from PAC-10s and the 100 breast NCAA record from Chandler all the more legitimate. I also loved the rollercoaster team title fight. Pre-meet, it looked like it would be Georgia vs. Stanford, but the other three stepped up huge. I'm so impressed by what Cal and Arizona were able to do, and of course what Florida did. I love watching college swimming because it really turns it into a complete team sport. Olympic swimming is great, but it's all about the medal. This becomes a huge point-grab, and everyone, swimmer or diver, from first to sixteenth place is crucial.

-- I would like an explanation for Texas's suckery. It's not like one of them bombed. One person didn't miss her taper. They bombed together, as a unit. With the exception of maybe Laura Sogar's relay split, the entire team was unimpressive. Plus, there was some controversy which DQed their 200 and 400 free relays. What? They really looked to be rolling in the right direction after last year, and they had a very solid duel meet season, but, phew, who knows? There's got to be something we don't know about there. I mean, Kim Brackin coached Kirsty Coventry. This is not an unqualified coach. They just didn't show up this year. I'll stay loyal, girls, because I know you've got more in you, but I really can't believe they didn't even manage a top-eight finish.

--Next year is going to be exciting with superstars Dagny Knutson and Elizabeth Beisel moving in. Hopefully Knutson will bring some firepower back to Auburn, which didn't suck at the level of Texas, but was not as good as usual. If she stays on course, she'll at least make the 500 a real fight next year, not to mention the IMs. (She'll probably get the 400 no problem, but the 200 is another story.) Beisel moves into Florida, where she'll take Spofforth's place in the 200 back, though I'm not sure if she's as gifted in the short course format as she is in long course meters. Still was six-star recruit, if I recall, but I wonder if she'll also swim the 400 IM and the 500 free, since I think that's what her star rating was based on. Also, Stanford has Felicia Lee coming in, plus a sick backstroker at Texas. All good stuff. Until next year...

D1 WOMEN'S NCAA DAY TWO

2010-03-19T19:40:00.006-04:00

1. 200 medley relay: Opened up with a stunner, as two of the teams in the final DQed, Virginia and GEORGIA. Losing relay points is huge, and even though Stanford only placed sixth (out of the six scored teams) in the A-final, that might have cost Georgia big time. Arizona won, about a half-second off the NCAA record, followed by Tennessee, Florida, Cal, and Wisconsin. That immediately tanked Georgia into fifth place, with Stanford in first and now Cal in second. It sucks for Georgia, but if this makes it a closer, more intense meet, all the better for us spectators.

2. 400 IM: Julia Smit must have been rested at PAC-10s, or she's over-rested now. She still won, again, but way off her American record. Won tonight in 4:00.90. Teresa Crippen out of Florida actually got second in 4:02.92, which is a great swim. Both beat out the world-champ in the meters version of this event, Katinka Hosszu, who got third in 4:03.65, well off her best time from last year. Maybe the suit change is in play for her, or it just wasn't a great swim. Caitlin Leverenz also had a really good swim for Cal out of the consolation final, 4:07 flat, which would have scored 6th in the A-final and beat her teammate, who did score sixth. With that DQ from Georgia, Cal actually might make a run at the title again! This is exciting stuff! Moriarty out of UNC unfortunately didn't do great here, and Gingrich out of Texas was only just off her prelim time, which is actually not bad, considering the standard Texas has set so far.

3. 100 butterfly: I don't know why I said I thought Jemma Lowe would win. That was dumb. Elaine Breeden won! I was worried after her 200 IM, but I'm so happy she'll ride her senior year out with at least one individual title. Winning time was 51.43, followed by USC's Lyndsay DePaul in 51.72, and defending champ Amanda Sims out of Cal in 51.85. Couldn't defend, but she picked up some solid points for Cal, and Hannah Wilson added some more to the pile with her fifth place finish. Alex Forrester, who I think is a freshman out of Yale, won the consolation final, which is cool. Except for Aemisegger from Princeton, the Ivy League isn't very visible at NCAAs. Kathleen Hersey, who very much could have won this event, got TENTH. What's UP Texas?!

4. 200 freestyle: Georgia made up some huge ground here. They went 1-2-4 in the A-final, with Allison Schmitt winning in 1:42.84 followed by Morgan Scroggy 1/10 of a second behind her. Julia Wilkinson out of A&M broke the Georgia clean sweep with her third place, then Georgia's Megan Romano in fourth. Stanford picked up points out of Kate Dwelley's fifth place 1:44.40, but Georgia put themselves into third place, within a half-point of Cal, while Stanford leads by a 12.5 point margin. This is heeeeating up, kids!

5. 100 breaststroke: Ann Chandler out of Arizona won in a new NCAA record of 58.06. Those records are hard to come by this year, so that is a spectacular swim. She won it going away, too, as no one else broke 59. I picked badly in this one too - Jillian Tyler only got 4th.

6. 100 backstroke: Gemma Spofforth wins it in 50.92. Coughlin's record carries on. Close race with Fesenko out of Indiana, who swam 51.15, then Presley Bard out of USC a little further back in 51.89. Stanford is still in first with 240.5, but Arizona is now in second with 237.5, then Georgia at 222.5 and Cal at 222. This is quite a fight. Arizona picked up serious points in the back and breast, while the other three were relatively lacking in those events.

7. 4x200 freestyle relay: Georgia wins in 6:55.61, Cal touches second in 7:00.00. Stanford in 6th, Arizona in 8th, so the points stand as of now: Stanford, 266.5, Georgia, 262.5, Arizona, 259.5, and Cal, 256. This is still anybody's game!

As promised...

2010-03-19T14:15:00.004-04:00

... a really long dumb survey

1. Spell my name as it sounds: Eeyan. I kind of like that.

2. Am I a worrier? Sometimes. Sometimes incredibly so. Over stupid things, usually. It's weird. I wish I knew how to get over it sometimes.

3. What’s my favorite CD? Oh, that's a good one. I think it would be The Killers' "Sam's Town." Some of the songs are weird, but when you listen to it all at once, it somehow really works as a fluid piece.

4. Favorite colour(s)? Green, I guess.

5. Does my home have an attic? Yeah.

6. Have I ever been to Canada? I went when I was nine with my cousins and my brother. The only thing I remember clearly about it was that it was the first time I saw a legitimately crazy person.

7. Have I ever gone fishing? Yeah, sometimes for my grandfather's birthday, or maybe Fathers' Day or something, the whole family goes deep-sea fishing. I don't think I ever caught anything on those trips, which makes it not fun, because everyone else is pulling up sharks and stuff. I saw a guy pull up a wolffish, which was ridiculous. I think that's what it's called, anyway.

8. Have I ever seen a celebrity? Not really. No one super famous.

9. Have I ever been on a motorcycle? Nope.

10. How much money do I have on me right now? I think like 20 euro.

11. How many cars have I owned? Me personally, zero.

12. How many jobs have I had? Just one. Sigh. It is a solid summer job, though, so I shouldn't sigh like that.

13. How tall am I? 5'10".

14. Last person to call me: Rosanna.

15. Last thing I yelled out loud: Hahaha, what?

16. Last person I was in a car with: I dunno. Last time I was in a car was the taxi when I first got here. So the taxi driver, I guess?

17. Last time I ate at McDonald’s: Uh, when I went to Florence a few weeks ago. Actually, no, the week before that in Rome. We just used the bathroom in Florence.

18. Last thing I bought: Books and groceries.

19. Last person I saw: Physically, or that I know? The latter, my roommate Ryan.

20. Last time I cried: No idea.

21. Last time I laughed: In class today.

22. What is the temperature outside? 55F.

23. What time of the day did I get married? Say what?

24. What did I do two nights ago? Two nights ago was Wednesday... nothing special, I guess. Can't remember.

25. Who’s birthday is coming up next? I am so bad with birthdays.

26. What time did I go to bed last night? Midnightish.

27. What was the first thing I thought this morning? I don't think in the morning. I just go.

28. What are my plans for this weekend? Study for exams.

29. Lemonade or iced tea? Love them both.

30. What do I dislike at this moment? That I have to study for exams.

31. What did I dream about last night? I had the weirdest dream last night that I was on a diving board with two women who are quasi-famous in a certain sphere that no one else would probably know. If I told you who they were I'd be terribly embarrassed, so I'll just leave it at that.

32. What’s the last TV show I watched? 30 Rock.

33. What is my favorite piece of jewelry? I hate jewelry.

34. Am I a dancer? NO.

35. Have I ever cut my own hair? Yeah, a little bit. Head-shaving parties for swim team in high school.

36. What is my favorite treat? I love treats. I love all the treats.

37. How many piercings/tattoos do I have? Zero.

38. Where’s my favorite place to be? Home, I guess? I don't know.

39. Is there someone I haven’t seen in a while and miss? Oh, sure. All my friends and family at home.

40. Who was the last text I sent to? No idea, I always delete them right after I send them and receive them. I shouldn't do that, it's kind of a bad habit when you forget what people said to you.

41. Do I care what strangers think about me? Not strangers so much, but people who know who I am without really knowing me, yeah, sometimes.

42. Last person I talked to on Instant Messenger: I don't think I've used one of those in like a year.

43. Last person to make me cry: Don't know. Phillip Pullman?

44. Who can I tell anything to? My blog! (No, just kidding.)

45. What am I doing tomorrow? Studying for exams.

46. Do I have alcohol in my home? Pretty sure that's a yes.

47. Do I like ketchup? Yup.

48. Do I think I will be on a vacation this summer? I'm on a 4 month vacation right now, and summer is for recouping all the lost money.

49. What colour is my master bathroom? Here, it's just white.

50. Do I wear a bikini at the beach? That'd be weird, wouldn't it?

51. Have I ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I'd love to go there.

52. What is my favorite fruit? Apples.

53. What did I really want to do today? I really really wanted to stay in bed, but I didn't.

54. Am I always cold? No.

55. Does it annoy me when someone says they’ll call or text, but don’t? It does, but I pull that all the time. My bad, everyone. But that does suck, when you're waiting and waiting for it, and then you see the person later and you want to play it off like you weren't waiting and waiting like, "Oh, I totally forgot you were gonna call me," but you're lying. Yeah, that sucks.

56. What time did you get up this morning? 9.

57. How do you like your steak? Medium.

58. Last film you saw in the cinema? I think it was Sherlock Holmes.

59. What is your favorite TV show? 30 Rock. It is a specific kind of humor and I understand why it isn't more popular, but even when it's bad, it's chuckle-worthy, and when it's good, and the one-liners shoot at you so fast that you can't even recover, it is so good.

60. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Dunno.

61. What did you have for breakfast? Special K with peaches. I love that stuff.

62. What is your favorite cuisine? I like all the cuisines.

63. What foods do you dislike? Green bean casserole. Really anything involving cream of mushroom soup. I have a physical reaction against that stuff.

64. Favorite place to eat? Oh, jeez, I don't know. There's a Mexican restaurant in Newburyport that I really enjoy.

65. Favorite dressing? You know what? Lately, for some reason I've become kind of grossed out by salad dressing. Isn't that strange? Not even just the creamy ones, but Italian and stuff too.

66. What kind of vehicle do you drive? I forget what it is, hahaha. It's kind of new, not technically mine, and I never actually drive it because I'm not home very much.

67. What are you favorite clothes? Jeans and a t-shirt.

68. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Greece. I wish I had more time here, since I'm as close as I'll probably ever be, but from the little research I've done Greece is actually kind of hard to get to, and expensive. I also really want to go to the Midwest of the USA.

69. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Depends on if you're emptying it or filling it, asshole.

70. Where would you want to retire? I don't know. Somewhere slightly warmer than MA but still with four seasons.

71. Favorite time of day? They're all cool in my book.

72. Where were you born? Haverhill, MA.

73. What is your favorite sport to watch? Swimming. Specifically women's. See previous post. There are few of us on earth who could give that answer.

74. Bird watcher? I mean, I don't go out with long socks and binoculars to find them, but I do watch them sometimes, I guess.

75. Morning or night person? Hm... I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm one or the other, but I'm really not good late at night or early morning. I guess an afternoon person, then?

76. Any pets? Abby the dog and Hillary Clinton the fish.

77. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? Nope!

78. What did you want to be when you were little? I honestly never really thought about it much. And I still don't, which is going to get me in deep shit in about a year.

79. Best childhood memory? Depends on how far back childhood is. If high school counts, it's in there, by far. If not, I really don't know.

80. Are you a dog or cat person? Dog.

81. Are you married? I am the farthest thing it is humanly possible to be from married.

82. Do you always wear your seat belt? Yep.

83. Been in a car accident? Oh yeah. Hey Connie from Groveland, SORRY SORRY SORRY. Even though it was almost two years ago, I still think about you and am deeply ashamed.

84. Pet peeves? Yes... I do, but nothing is springing to mind...

85. Favorite pizza topping? Okay, is a "four seasons" pizza a thing in the English-speaking world? Because they have it here and I'm all a-fucking-bout it. I LOVE it.

86. Favorite flower? I am indifferent to flowers.

87. Favorite ice cream flavor? I really like many, but I think straight vanilla is usually the way to go.

88. Favorite fast food restaurant? Hm... Taco Bell was the first one that came to mind.

89. How many times did you fail your driver's test? I actually never failed it. I had a substitute state trooper (the state police used to do the MA driving tests) and he was both really nice and in a hurry to finish. The only time I ever nailed parallel parking, because he literally told me beforehand, "If you can't do it, I'll walk you through it." It was a way better experience than all the anxiety and diarrhea could have even hoped for.

90. From whom did you get your last email? Let's check! Facebook, hahahaha.

91. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Borders or Barnes and Noble. Borders has a better cafe, but Barnes and Nobles' books are cheaper.

92. Do anything spontaneous lately? Not really. The person from whom I copied this did, though. Look at this: Oh, totally. Spent the night on the beach after a bazillion bottles of champagne, struck up a conversation with a famous person I admire, randomly danced to bad techno with a bunch of government employees…the list goes on. Damn girl.

93. Like your job? I'm technically unemployed at the moment, but the summer job that I'm going back to for the fifth year in a row to work with sixteen year olds, actually, is not that bad. Sometimes it's really, really fun.

94. Broccoli? Not raw, but steamed it's fine. I read somewhere recently that you're not supposed to eat a lot of it because you fart like crazy afterwards. Did not know that.

95. What was your favorite vacation? The one I'm on right now. Seriously. There are some very frustrating things, as I've mentioned recently, but this has been the best experience of my life.

96. Last person you went out to dinner with? Some people here.

97. Favorite workout song? Memory by Sugarcult. I think I first heard the song on Laguna Beach or something, but despite that, it always gets me going.

98. What are you listening to right now? Kerry Ellis, "Someone Else's Story." I downloaded that at the beginning of February and I've already listened to it 70 times, according to I-Tunes.

99. Coffee drinker? Yeah, but not in the morning. I like it for its flavor, not so much the caffeine. I like it black, too. Black decaf is good stuff.

100. What time did you finish this quiz? Is it over? It's 8 PM now.

D1 WOMEN'S NCAA DAY ONE

2010-03-19T09:01:00.005-04:00

Ohhhh yes.

I'm on the NCAA website right now, and apparently there is NCAA bowling. LOVE IT.

1. 200 freestyle relay: I have my handful of favorite teams, but I'm sort of an omni-fan. I like to see everyone do well. Florida has never been one of my favorites, but I'm psyched for them that they won, if it couldn't be Stanford or Cal or Texas. Sucks for Stanford, since their prelim time would have won in the final, but so it goes. Really not that fast, overall, though. Only a handful of 21-splits, and the fastest was Gemma Spofforth out of Florida, who clocked a 21.46. Weird how the sprints are affected so much. Stanford in second, Cal third. I'm gunning for Stanford to win overall, whenever they can score over Georgia, I'll be happy. But WHAT is happening with my Texas? They totally bit it - 14th place? I would say that this is their weakest day, but still, they have too much talent on their team for that to be acceptable.

2. 500 freestyle: Again, on the whole, slower than I expected. Allison Schmitt won it in 4:34.13, about where I figured it would fall. The rest of the field didn't push her too hard, though. Lauren Boyle out of Cal took second in a 4:37.18, then Wendy Trott, Aemisegger from Princeton, Nauta from Georgia. I expected Alyssa Anderson out of Arizona to do better than 7th, and she actually added a few tenths from her prelim time. Everyone in the A-final under 4:40 except Budner. Katinka Hosszu won the B-final in a 4:38.94. Tough event for Stanford, though - they only scored one point out of the B-final. Also, Texas, again, where are you? Leah Gingrich went a 4:46 in prelims. They really NEEDED her to do well if they were going to do well as a team, but it looks like they won't this year. Also, weird to see Sara Isakovic out of Cal do so badly. I'm excited to see what she does in the 200, so I hope it's better...

3. 200 IM: I saw an interview on Swimming World last week where the Stanford coach said Julia Smit was not at all rested when she reset the American record in this event at PAC-10s, but then how do you explain the time addition here? She still won, but in 1:53.56, almost a second and a half slower than her American record. I guess it doesn't really matter, since it's really just about placing and points here, but everyone kind of expected faster. In second was Julia Wilkinson out of A&M (1:54.45), then Scroggy out of Georgia (1:54.62). Ava Ohlgren (4th, 1:55.72) seems to have bounced back a bit, which is good news for Auburn. Kathleen Hersey out of Texas didn't do so great, added time from prelims to take 5th in 1:56.42. Margaret Kelly out of Michigan, Caitlin Leverenz out of Cal, and Elaine Breeden out of Stanford rounded out the final. Stanford picked up 31 points from the A-final and 7 more from the B-final, while Georgia picked up 16 and 3.

4. 50 freestyle: Huge time addition from last year here. No one broke 22 this year. Liv Jensen out of Cal won in 22.04, then Webb out of Stanford in 22.07, Botek from Georgia in 22.14 and Woodward from Stanford in 22.17. Don't know this field that well, but I love seeing Cal win and take a few more points from Hannah Wilson in 7th place. And if I remember right, Liv Jensen had some health problems a few years ago - I can't remember what, but I think it was serious, like cancer or something. Or maybe I'm thinking of someone else. I don't know, whatever. Nice win for her anyway. And Stanford closed the gap with Georgia a bit here, too.

5. 400 medley: Arizona won for the third straight year, though they had a DQ scare in the morning. But it was overturned. They had a real DQ last year in the shorter medley that pretty much cost them the team win, so I'm glad for their sake it was just a scare this year. Stanford in second, thank God. Julia Smit is so diesel - she did the breaststroke leg in a 59 low. So versatile, she's ridiculous. Arizona's breast leg was a good deal faster, though. Then Florida in 3rd and A&M in 4th. Georgia got 8th. I don't know how the relays really fall, but they're pretty much a given in the 4x200, so Stanford needs to snatch as many points as they can from the other relays. Texas in 11th out of the B-final. (Waaaah!) Good split from Laura Sogar on the breast leg, though. Their backstroke wasn't fast enough -54, and the freestyle leg (48.48) wasn't great either. Meh. Wonder what's going on with them?

Team standing so far, Stanford in first with 142.5 points, Georgia with 134, Cal with 122. Cal is really doing well so far, especially considering that they don't have Dana Vollmer. Texas is in 10th with a measley 38. Only the first day, though. Also, I wish I knew more about diving, because those points can sometimes have a huge effect on the overall score. Whatever - good stuff coming later today (God damn time difference!), 400 IM, 100s of the strokes, 200 freestyle.

THERE... IS.... A TABLECLLLLOTH

2010-03-18T16:54:00.006-04:00

--You make a post like the previous one, and then you get a good night's sleep and spend an afternoon on the steps of the piazza with a beer and a gelato and a good conversation, and suddenly it doesn't seem quite so bad. Or maybe I'm bipolar.

--Every week when I-Tunes puts its free shit out, I download all of it without question. Thus, I have a ton of shit in my library that I've never listened to and really have no interest in. One such song is called "Crazy Days" by Adam Gregory. It's a country song that I've never listened to past the first 15 seconds, and I do not know who the artist is. So, anyway, lately, every time I plug my I-Pod into the computer to charge, I-Tunes has some sort of crisis where it thinks that my computer is no longer authorized to play my music, which makes NO SENSE. Usually all I have to do is restart my computer and it goes again. But during the crisis, if I try to play something (I think it's songs I've purchased before a certain date; it's all old stuff it won't let me play), it sends me these threatening error messages that say, "THIS COMPUTER IS NOT AUTHORIZED TO PLAY THIS SONG. AUTHORIZE COMPUTER NOW, OR YOU WILL LOSE 284 SONGS, INCLUDING 'CRAZY DAYS.'" Which, I mean, wow. I wasn't really planning to reauthorize the computer, but if you're gonna take "Crazy Days" away from me, well, gosh, I'll have to reconsider this.

--The Chinese people I met here are some of the nicest, most humble people I've ever met in my life. It's totally reshaped my image of China - I had this naive picture of that country as full of, I don't know, soulless communists who were at the ready to destroy the western way of life. But, really, the whole communist thing just strikes me as more of a hassle for them than anything. They have to jump through a few more hoops than we do if they want to have another kid or go on a trip or something. They never say so, but I think they know that their government can be a huge pain in the ass, to say the least. Also, they laugh at everything I say, which is a quality I enjoy in people.

--I went to San Marino last weekend, which is this little independent country in northern Italy, and it was so boring. No one will get this reference, but there's this city in New Hampshire, North Conway, that's touristy because it's near the mountains and stuff, but there's no real reason for anyone to go there for its own sake. Does that make sense? It's full of stores that sell garbage and make you wonder how any of them stay in business, pulling people in on their way to the real places they want to go to. That is how San Marino struck me, as if North Conway had become its own country. It so wanted to be a tourist attraction, but the only thing it had going for it was 360 degrees of views like this:
But all that was there was alcohol stores and clock stores and jewelry stores. We went to a museum that literally had nothing in it. Not hyperbole - two floors of empty rooms. Actually, not true. There were a few instruments of torture in the basement. But the top two floors were empty rooms.

--Plotting my schedule. "Contemporary American Indian Literature." Is anyone else intrigued? Also, I've communicated more with my adviser and the English department now that I'm in Italy than I ever have while being two hundred yards away from them. It's nice.

--It took me a while to commit to Mary J Blige's "One," but I've discovered a Johnny Cash cover of the same song (seriously, that man is a gold mine; I'm always finding new amazing stuff that he's done) that I LOVE. It took me a few listens, but he plays it all on the guitar and somehow turned the opening notes into an absolutely haunting melody. So good.

--On that note, I don't really get the new Lady GaGa video, but it involves the Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill, so I'm down with it.

--I'm going to hunt down a long meme to complete now...

VENT POST

2010-03-16T16:13:00.005-04:00

Dumping my frustration onto my poor defenseless blog:

I'm in a weird state right now. The way I am, especially having been in a school setting for, what, 16 years, I set a lot of stock in "the next thing" - you know, I have this much time left of this, and then I have this much time of break, then I go back there for this much time. That's one of the things that I've learned about myself from having a blog. I read old entries, and I always follow a pattern. I go to something new, get very into it, very obsessed, then, suddenly, I'm ready to move on.

And being almost 3/4 done here, I'm really starting to feel that itch. I'm not homesick, or at least not in the way I've experienced homesickness before. I'm just getting very very restless. I still walk around here hugely appreciative, and every morning I leave for class and think of how lucky I am to be here and have this experience. I really do. But I'm really, really "over" the day-to-day stuff. You know, same classes, same faces, same places to go out. It's not that I'm eager to leave here, not really. It's just that I'm dying to switch it up. I get like this no matter where I am or what I'm doing, but it's suddenly become very intense here.

I think a huge part of it is school. Not to be too extreme, but I hate school here. Hate it. And this is coming from a huge nerd. Even when I've had, you know, classes I didn't like, or shitty teachers, I've always overall been very excited about school. But it's so different here. The class schedule is ridiculous. My Mondays are so long that it's excruciating. The total amount of class I have each week is probably double what I'm used to, and a good portion of it is packed into that one day. But then, it's weird, because once class is over - nothing. There are almost no assignments at all. There is nothing to think about or reinforce afterward. Which is a system that is not working for me. I hate having no indicator of where I'm at - no grades, nothing to say, "Oh, okay, here's where you're going wrong." Because I know I'm going wrong all over the place, but there's nothing to pinpoint. And when class is that long, I lose motivation quickly. I stop listening. All I can think about is it being over. Then it is, and I come home to - nothing. And the next day, they leap to a whole new topic. There's no build-up, no vertical development. I don't know. I was editing an old paper to send home for an essay contest, and I was absurdly delighted in the process, just because I haven't really flexed those muscles in so long. It's really deflating and dull here compared to what I'm used to. Even with the professors - with relatively small classes and enough interaction, some of them still don't know anyone's name. It's just weird.

I don't know if all Italian schools are like this, or just the one I'm at, but it's not a system that is satisfying to me. I invest huge amounts of time toward class each week but feel like I don't have a ton to show for it. And it's only going to get worse from here. I have final exams next week, which will be a hot mess, I'm sure. I don't have a flying clue what will be on some of them. I do not understand this "twenty minute sit down oral exam with the professor" thing. Then, in order to conform with an American schedule, I have three weeks of essentially meaningless classes, during which I'm sure I'll be ripping my hair out.

And then the things with which I'd normally occupy my spare time - which is plentiful, especially later in the week, after Monday - are absent here. I am ACHING to work out. I think about it constantly. From what I'd heard early on, the gym here is tiny and not worth the 200 euro membership, but I'm thinking I should have considered more. I try to go for walks, and not to knock people who do that for exercise, but it is SO not enough. It is nothing. I literally fantasize about my 2-hour hill program bike sessions where I want to die at the end. I WANT that feeling of wanting to die at the end. Otherwise, I read, but I find that when I have a limited supply of books at hand, my reading sort of dries up. In terms of English books, I - and this is quite sad - literally have almost every book available here, or it's a book from an author I have no interest in (Hemingway, Beckett). I'm not willing to buy a second copy of books I already have at home, so I'm stuck with Lonesome Dove and Middlemarch. The lack of options just makes it, I don't know, not exciting for some reason. In terms of Italian books, I still don't know how to go about it. My comprehension is fine. Obviously I don't get it all, but enough to get the gist of it. But my vocabulary is still so limited that when I read, it just ends up being a dictionary exercise, and I get frustrated, get a headache and stop. So I just end up going on the internet more and more, and you know how quickly that gets old.

I guess I never realized how much of my life revolved around that stuff. I mean, if I were more into "going out," it would be more bearable. Of course, I do go out a few nights a week, but even that's old. Same bars, same drinks, same songs, same faces. When it's the right mood and the right people and the right conversation, getting drunk and acting ridiculous can be so fun. But when you're doing it over and over with the same people in the same setting, it gets boring quick. And that's never been my thing, anyway. I'm constantly conscious of how expensive it gets, and the whole packed-room-of-sweaty-dancing-people thing isn't all that appealing to me.

I really do hate to complain, but this is just how I get, especially when my mind is always unoccupied. I'm not unhappy here, but everything's becoming SO boring. I do enjoy having my life very routinized, but the routine here is meh, and there's nothing I can do about it. Some of my friends here are making plans to stay for the summer, and I just can't fathom doing that. Summer would probably be a bit better, without school, but God, I really just want to go for a drive. I want to see some trees again. I want to make some money. Actually, I'm really looking forward to my 55-hour work weeks again, interspersed with the 5 AM/10 PM workout sessions. And then that'll get old and I'll want to get back to school. It's how I am.

And so it goes - five more weeks of the same old, and then, back to real life.

Bitch List

2010-03-12T08:12:00.001-05:00

So funny.

My friend’s cousin is a teacher at a charter school in Washington, D.C. She found this on the floor of a 3rd grade classroom and recognized it for the gold mine that it is — scanned it into a fax-to-PDF scanner immediately. You’ll notice that according to this taxonomy, there are 90 types of bitches. However, there’s a page missing, so we are left to guess what bitch types 44-58 are. If you have any ideas, please do leave them in the comments. And it was found in a 3rd grade classroom! Either the child who left this behind borrowed this from a much more sophisticated older sibling/cousin, or kids in inner-city D.C. grow up even faster than I thought. Or both. Anyway, here’s the list.

The picture is priceless because of the handwriting alone, but if the link doesn't work, here's the full list of the different types of bitches:

1) Dirty dumb ass bitches
2) Aint got no ass bitches
3) Dusty trick bitches
4) Fishy bitches
5) Don’t know how to fight bitches
6) Got all that mouth but can’t step bitches
7) Ugly looking bitch that think they all that
Can’t keep a man bitch
9) Track wearing bitches
10) Bitches that be trying to steal your man
11) Hoochie looking bitches
12) Ain’t got no damn sense bitches
13) Stupid bitches that act dumb
14) Bitches who can only get a dirty boy
15) Want to be jocking bitches
16) Bitches who think their man love them but get pregnant and be left alone
17) Bitches who think they better than me
18) Instigating bitches
19) Talking behind your back bitches
20) Loud mouth bitches
21) Pissy bitches
22) Stingy bitches
23) Funky looking bitches
24) Short hair bitches
25) Spanish bitches who think they all that cause of their hair
26) Bitches that be ignoring you when they know they can hear you
27) Staring in your face bitches
28) Big eyed looking bitches
29) Crazy bitches
30) Nappy tender headed bitches
31) Booty shorts wearing bitches
32) Coast-signing bitches
33) Dick riding bitches
34) Whipped bitches
35) Buck tooth bitches
36) Cheesy teeth bitches
37) Same wearing clothes each day bitches
38) Ghetto bitches
39) Hair dyeing bitches
40) Wearing shoes that be talking bitches
41) Bitches who think they hard
42) Bitches that think they get money
43) Bitches that go to a dirty school
44) (page missing)
45) (page missing)
46) (page missing)
47) (page missing)
48) (page missing)
49) (page missing)
50) (page missing)
51) (page missing)
52) (page missing)
53) (page missing)
54) (page missing)
55) (page missing)
56) (page missing)
57) (page missing)
58) (page missing)
59) Gay bitches
60) Stanky fishy coochie smelling bitches
61) Tomboy bitches
62) Stain on your pants bitches
63) Dry scalp dandruff bitches
64) Dirty hair bitches
65) Stealing bitches
66) Stinky feet bitches
67) Big gap bitches
68) Protecting their store bitches
69) Pajamas outside bitches
70) Ragly braid bitches
71) Stanky butt bitches
72) Greedy bitches
73) Slimy grimy bitches
74) Psycho bitches
75) Drug dealing bitches
76) Geekin’ bitches
77) Suntanning bitches
78) Goofy looking bitches
79) Triflin’ bitches
80) Skanky bitches
81) Mugging bitches
82) Sloppy bitches
83) Dirty fingernails bitches
84) Dirty sock wearing bitches
85) Uncreative bitches
86) White bitches that think black people poor
87) Conceited bitches
88) Tall bitches
89) Short bitches
90) Jealous bitches

Women's NCAA Thoughts

2010-03-02T16:05:00.007-05:00

I'm doing this because I'm totally putting off preparing for my presentation tomorrow, but it's so on my mind that I have to write it.

Division 1 Women's Swimming thoughts and predictions, by event:

50 freestyle: It's interesting, now that the tech-suits are banned, it seems, on the whole, that the sprints are the events that are hit hardest, which is kind of contrary to what people thought would happen (considering the advantage gained per 25 with the suits). Strange, but so it is. I don't really follow anyone in the 50 or the 100, so my guesses would be just based solely on time, but looking at the top times this year, it's interesting that no one has cracked 22 seconds. Michele King, the girl with the top time on that chart (which is often wrong, but I have to go with it) placed third in that event last year, I think, and I believe Anne-Marie Botek placed second. My sprint memory is hazy, though, so don't quote me. Now that girls like Lara Jackson (American record holder) and Hee-Jin Chang (only other sprinter I remember placing last year) are out, it's open for a new champion and for new faces in finals. Probably one of those two aforementioned girls will get it, but I suspect it won't be much faster than a high-21. American record is very safe here, I think.

100 freestyle: Ditto the above. None of the people I "follow" are in this event, except maybe Julia Smit, but she might not swim it. Dana Vollmer won last year, but she's gone, so new face. So far only two girls appear to have cracked 48 seconds, Arianna Vanderpool-Wallace out of Auburn (who placed 10th last year) and Shara Stafford out of Florida, who does not appear to have scored in this event last year. But there will be faces like Bispo out of Texas, Scroggy out of Georgia, and maybe Smit out of Stanford who all made finals and could make a run at it. It's hard to say who's already tapered and who hasn't yet, at this point, and of course who knows how well they'll do at Nationals. High to mid-47, I'd say, and I think the NCAA record and the American record are safe.

200 freestyle: All right, here it's more interesting for me. Dana Vollmer won last year, but she's gone. I believe that Allison Schmitt will win, and I hope that she goes a 1:42 something, though Morgan Scroggy did place one step above her last year, so she's in definite contention, too. Also, there's a freshman out of Virginia, Perdue, who swam really well at ACCs, so she should be up there. Can't count out Bispo of Texas, Isakovic from California, or Nauta from Georgia, though I don't see any of them winning. NCAA and American records are almost definitely safe, unless the Georgia girls have been holding back a lot.

500 freestyle: Welcome to the Georgia show - fight among Schmitt, Wendy Trott, and Nauta, who all placed within a second of each other at SECs. Apparently Katinka Hosszu of USC swam this last year and placed eighth, which I didn't realize. She had a great summer and is doing well this year, so she'll likely final again, if she swims it. Heiss out of Texas A&M will make some noise, too, and Aemisegger out of Princeton, but I'll give it to Schmitt, somewhere between 4:33 and 4:35. Doubt that Hoff's American record will go down, but maybe Caroline Burckle's NCAA record will.

1650 freestyle: I think it will be Trott or Aemisegger, but probably Trott. I think all records are safe here. This American record is just brutally fast.

100 butterfly: This'll be interesting. Last year Amanda Sims of Cal won it, but I somehow don't see her repeating, since she was kind of a surprise last year, and, if I remember right, she didn't make the A-cut at PAC-10s. If Kathleen Hersey from Texas swims this instead of the IM she swam last year, she could make a run for the win. (And if I were her, I'd think about it, since the IMs are basically already decided.) Hersey will likely be the one to beat in the butterfly events after the current crop of upperclassmen moves out, but even though Julia Smit is leaving after this year in the IMs, Dagny Knutson is coming in next year in both distances, and Elizabeth Beisel in at least the 400 IM, so those are kind of locked up for a while, it would seem. Anyway, back to this year. Can't count out Elaine Breeden of Stanford, but she's been injured this season, if I recall. Others - Wilson out of Cal, Lowe out of Florida both made finals last year, and Lowe at least probably will again. Actually, I'll put my money on her. I'm not really sure who has A-cuts and how fast anyone's B-cuts are, or how much that will actually matter when game time comes, but I'll say Lowe.

200 butterfly: Going with Hosszu. Breeden will hold on to her record, I think, but Hosszu looks faster than Breeden this season. I think Kathleen Hersey will get third, but Sims, Lowe, Isakovic, Gingrich, et al will all be in the mix. Money's on Hosszu, though.

100 backstroke: Gemma Spofforth, end of story. I hope Natalie Coughlin's record still stands when the dust settles, but Spofforth already went sub-51 at conference and she does have the world record in the 100-meter back, so it could fall. That is one hell of a record, and it'll be quite a thing if someone finally does break it. Christensen out of Virginia will likely place high, and Agy out of Arizona. I'm curious to see how the UNC freshman will do - uh... what's her name, Carly Smith. One of the few from UNC to get an A-cut. I really like UNC for some reason, and I like to see them do well. Tough for them, seeing Layne Brodie not really measure up to her performances from last year, but that's neither here nor there.

200 backstroke: Spofforth. If Smit swims it, she could challenge, but I doubt she can beat Spofforth. Again, Christensen will be one to watch, plus Smith again, maybe, and Kristen Heiss and Theresa Crippen. Almost surely Spofforth, and I'm curious to see what she'll swim without the suit. 1:48 was blazing last year, one of the highlights of the season, in my mind.

100 breaststroke: Up in the air without Rebecca Soni. Maybe Jillian Tyler out of Minnesota, who placed second in this last year. High 58, I'd say, whoever gets it.

200 breaststroke: This was a quick one last year, with Soni, but she's gone, so it's up for grabs. Atkinson out of A&M took second last year, and Tyler got third, so likely one of them. I'm also interested to see what Moriarty out of UNC and Sogar out of Texas do. Moriarty, who had a bomb-ass ACCs, improved in the IM from conference to Nationals last year, and I kind of had Sogar pegged for a breakout at conference that didn't really manifest. That's my New England bias leaking through, though.

200 IM: Julia Smit. Already broke the American record at PAC-10s, basically a foregone conclusion. Breeden did well at PAC-10s in this race, so she'll be in it, plus Hersey, maybe, though she didn't win at Big-12s. Wilkinson out of A&M. Ohlgren out of Auburn isn't doing great this season, curious to see what she'll do. But maybe a 1:51 out of Smit? Who knows?

400 IM: Again, Julia Smit. Shattered the American record at PAC-10s, first woman under 4 minutes. Ridiculous swimming - she took the butterfly out in a 54. Other familiar faces here, too - Hosszu, Hersey, Crippen, Aemisegger. Hosszu in second, I think - she was world champ.

Can't do relays. I think Georgia will win the team title, then Stanford in second. We'll see later this month!

Now the half-time air was SWEET perfume

2010-02-22T09:32:00.007-05:00

--I have a phonetics class here (I just typed 'fonetics' - too much Italian, anyone?) that is absolutely fascinating to me because we get to learn all the aspects of Italian that speakers of other languages can't do. Like Swedish people have a hard time differentiating between "ch" and "g" (as in George, not gorge), Spanish people can't do a "z" sound, English speakers can't hear double consonants or do the letter "r." I forget what Russians can't do, but I remember being happy when I found out - the Russians and the Spanish seem to have a way easier time with this language than I do and I am super jealous of them.

--I drunkenly serenaded a creperia to the opening lines of "Proud to Be an American" at 1:30 in the morning the other night. This is why I never drank before. Luckily someone else picked up the next few lines at a MUCH higher volume and drew all the attention to herself, but still, how embarrassing. It was intended to be self-deprecating, as I had just made some basic grammatical error while ordering a crepe, but it didn't occur to me at the time that that's undetectable by other cultures, for the most part.

--In a related story, crepes are my best friends. Crepe with nutella and cream and bananas, so good.

--Does anyone who reads this (hello? are you out there?) have any experience with triathlons? I think it's just because I'm not exercising whatsoever right now and my body is CRAVING it, and also because it's swimming championship season, which makes me miss swimming, but I'm suddenly obsessed with the idea of doing one. I'm quasi-planning how I'd be able to fit in the swimming and work the other two (plus weight-lifting) around it. Like, Ian, what? You don't run, and you haven't ridden a bike outside since you were 14. But I could! I could! Like, if I started training HARD at the beginning of May, before work starts, I could probably do one like this by July, right? 1/2 mile swim is nothing when you're in shape, even without walls, nor is a 13 mile bike (I hope; I used to do 35+ on a stationary bike some days.) The run can't be that bad if I work at it, right? Amesbury's right next to my town, too. This is just an idle pipe dream right now (well, not idle, since I think about it constantly, but you know what I mean), and it will probably fizzle out, but imagine if I did it? That'd be kinda cool, right?

--Books I cannot get into: Middlemarch, Great Expectations, Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. I want to get into them so bad, but I cannot. I got 300 pages into Middlemarch and had to put it away - it's one of those books, those voices, that I can't read, oh, between classes. I need silence in my head and in my environment to stay with all these earth shattering observations about humanity and the world interspersed with three rotating plotlines. Too hard. Like Annie Proulx - I can't just throw her stuff in my bag and read it at a drop. It's got to be time set aside, which is hard for me, especially now. Sheesh. And I've never been able to do Dickens, for some reason. But I'm currently reading a book about people who are reading Great Expectations, so maybe after I finish that?

--I love Italy, but I've come to the conclusion that I could never live here full time, especially this city, which I also love with all my heart. It's a cool community, really, but it's a college town sort of environment, and the population is so fluid and transitory that it must be so hard to form permanent relationships here, even when you live here full time. I also don't like the way everything's developed - like, woods don't exist. Is that stupid? I don't know. It's all buildings. There's no dirt. If a dog shits in the road at home, you can brush it off to the side, because it's dirt. Here, you can't, because there is no dirt. It's beautiful and old, sure, but sometimes I look around and feel kind of suffocated by it. At home, you can walk outside at night or drive and there's a possibility that you'll see, you know, a deer or a fox or a fisher cat or something. That's absent here. No trees, all cobblestones. It's cleaner than an equivalent American city would be, but it's lacking that open space that I like about New England. Maybe it would be better near the ocean. I also don't like certain Italian things, like the pausa and the fact that everything's closed on Sundays and (kind of) the education system, or as much as I've experienced it. Not to knock Italy, or complain - like I said, I love it here, and I'm having a great time but it's just different, and I don't think it's an environment I could live in forever.

--It's also kind of sad the way English and America have infiltrated every aspect of the world. In some of my classes, when we're talking about our home life, we just get brushed aside because everyone pretty much knows how we talk and what we're about. Which also makes it really hard to escape English, which makes it really hard to learn Italian, in turn.

--Everyone who has access to Hulu should go and watch the 30 Rock episode "Anna Howard Shaw Day." There is a montage where Jenna goes through her memories of her celebrity stalker's attempts at contacting her that literally almost made me pee my pants. I had to pause it. And Tina Fey hallucinating that a plant at the dentist's office is Bon Jovi? Priceless. I had to jump through the hoops of illegal bootleg sites to even watch it, but SO worth it.

--There was an article I found linked on Facebook today about one of my cousins who got really into boxing after high school. My grandmother is so against it because it's dangerous and violent and a waste of time and yada yada, and that's basically the only filter through which I've heard about it at all, but from what I gather, he's actually really good, like, national-level good. And apparently he partially owns a boxing gym. Kinda cool, I guess. I only wonder why I'm so brain-dead that I didn't know all this before. Maybe because I tune-out when they talk about because I don't know anything about it.

--Now I must go and investigate a possible day-trip for this weekend. Bye!

Books: Complete Short Fiction of Oscar Wilde

2010-02-17T17:50:00.003-05:00

Another hole in my education. I actually own Dorian Gray, but it's been wasting away in my pile of hundreds of to-reads for a long long time. (My pile at home is waaay too big. I'm making a commitment to myself that I will not buy another book this summer unless it's absolutely necessary. I have too many already that I've been putting off.) But somehow I never really knew that Oscar Wilde was the author. I don't think so, at least; if you'd asked me, I probably wouldn't have been able to answer. I only vaguely knew him as a playwright. Irish lit is still a gaping hole in my knowledge. I want to read DG now, but I shouldn't buy a second copy here, so I'll wait. (Too expensive in Italy! The books are outrageous!)

These stories are lovely, though. Lot of fairy tales, a few detective/crime stories (which are all comical), plus a few "poems in prose.

I love the fairy tales. I'm not sure I get the "overall" aim of them, as a group. Some of them end with a heavily religious note. There are a few in particular, "The Selfish Giant," "The Happy Prince," and "The Young King," which all end with visions of God or Jesus, which suggests to me a promotion of religion, or at least selflessness and self-sacrifice and empathy for your fellow man and all those kind of values. Standard stuff, though really beautifully told.

But then there are a few that turn that on its head, and close on a really cynical note. There's one, "The Birthday of the Infanta," for instance: there's a dwarf who performs for the Infanta at her birthday party, and she likes his performance, so she asks him to do it again later. The dwarf misconstrues that as genuine affection from the princess, so he goes about all day excited to perform and then get to know the princess better. Then he sees his own malformed reflection in the mirror, and realizes the princess doesn't really care for him, but only for him as a freakish novelty. He dies of a broken heart, and the princess sees his body, and decrees with "pretty disdain" that "'For the future, let those who come to play with me have no hearts.'" Certainly not a kid's fairytale. And what do you do when you put those against the religious ones? There's this interplay between abstract morality and ugly reality throughout the stories that was really fascinating to me.

If you asked me, though, I'd say pick up this book for two in particular: "The Fisherman and His Soul" and "The Star-Child." I won't spoil the first for you, because it's a really interesting investigation of the needs of the soul versus the body. Very modern in its conclusions, I think. But the second one, spoilers, because I love it. It's a pretty normal story: child is found in the woods, believed to be the child of a star, so he grows up beautiful, but haughty and cruel and proud. One day a beggar woman comes to town, and he scorns her, only to learn it's his mother. He goes through the world trying to find her, and helping people along the way, losing his selfishness and all that. And he eventually learns that his beggar parents are actually a king and queen, and he himself is eventually crowned. In his rule he "would [not] suffer any to be cruel to bird or beast, but taught love and loving-kindness and charity... and there was peace and plenty in the land." Standard stuff, right? But the last line:

Yet he ruled not long, so great had been his suffering, and so bitter the fire of his testing, for the space of three years he died. And he who came after him ruled evilly.

I wasn't super impressed by the story until the end, but I got a chill reading that. That last sentence is perfect. The story runs along to its natural conclusion, giving a typical fairy tale message: be kind to others. But after it tells you how you should act, it pulls back in that last line and shows you how we really act. Again, it goes one step beyond a children's tale, moving to one point beyond the moral to the reality.

The detective tales, I didn't like as much, but they were very witty. There's one that parodies Americans that I liked very much. The poems in prose section was fascinating to me, because they all work together to give an alternative view of religion. (Which is why those religiously grounded fairytales confused me even more; what did this guy really think?)

This is obviously a really quick, shallow review, but honestly, wonderful stuff.

Books: Of Mice and Men

2010-02-17T17:15:00.007-05:00

Fell out of the habit of writing these little reviews, but I was reading through some of my old posts last week and thought I'd try to pick it up again. I enjoy it, and without a TV or reliable internet in this country, I'm reading quite a lot, so why not, right? Threw up a link on the sidebar, too, because I'm self-centered, but isn't blogging just an exercise in narcissism anyway?

ANY-hoo...

I don't know how I made it this far in my life without ever reading any Steinbeck, but I'm on a huge kick with his stuff right now. Since I've been in Italy I've finished East of Eden, The Grapes of Wrath, and Of Mice and Men. The little English section of the bookstore here does not have any more Steinbeck, and that is killing me. He's already one of my favorite writers ever. Like - I wasn't planning on doing a thesis next year, but I'm seriously reconsidering after reading these. It's such good, rich, meaty stuff.

This is a novella. 100 pages. I read it in about an hour and half. You probably already know it, but if not, don't let the length fool you - it packs a punch. It's about two guys who wander from farm to farm trying to pick up work. George is the brains of the operation, and Lennie is the muscle. Lennie is mentally disabled in some way, he acts like a child, but he's so strong that he ends up hurting people and things. He tries to keep a mouse in his pocket because he likes petting furry things, but ends up snapping its neck. George keeps him in line, and together they have this dream of owning their own farm, doing their own thing, setting their own rules. They end up finding work at this farm, full of guys, and one woman. But you can tell something's up - there are all these vague references to something that Lennie did "back in Weed," and from the beginning there's foreshadowing of putting something out of its misery. So when things start building toward a happy ending, you know it's not going there at all. I wasn't sure where exactly it was going, but there's an atmosphere all along, like... when their dreams start to head toward reality, it somehow felt immediately like it was all going to epically fall apart. And it does. The end of this novella is phenomenal. One of those ones that make you groan aloud.

The recurrent theme is loneliness. I actually picked up on that right away, and googling around a bit makes it even more obvious. The story starts "A few miles south of Soledad," which literally means solitude. (I know this because in 30 Rock Tina Fey is always eating chips called Sabor de Soledad - hahahahaha.) The other people that George and Lennie meet are all lonely little islands: one guy has one hand, one guy has a raging temper, one guy is black, the woman is the only woman, and kind of a slut (though I warmed up to her when she explained herself). They're all isolated, and they're all kind of stewing in their own loneliness. The black guy, Crooks, says:

A guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody. Don't make no difference who the guy is, long as he's with ya.

They're so alone that anyone will do. Scary thought. I mean, I do know what it means to be lonely, in a persistent, chronic sense, but never like that, not to that degree. Which is what makes the relationship between George and Lennie so powerful. They're both misfits in their own right, but they complement each other. Classic odd couple situation. And Lennie himself, it's actually pretty beautiful - when people talk to Lennie, and get over his childishness, talking with him starts to bring out some of the same eagerness and youthful joy in themselves that Lennie always operates under. They start spilling their stories and hopes and dreams, latching onto him. Which all makes the end so much more devastating. It's a KILLER, man.

Also, I found myself wondering a bit if Stephen King was influenced by this story at all. Lennie reminded me quite a bit of John Coffey, and even Tom Cullen a bit. They all have that same appeal.

Beautiful story. If you, like me, made it through high school without reading it, go get it soon.

To reiterate

2010-02-10T15:46:00.005-05:00

I keep starting posts, but they all come out annoying and lame, so I will just post these pictures and reiterate: whose life is this?

You're... adequate

2010-02-01T17:53:00.006-05:00

--Shout out to my man JD Salinger. The world's a sadder place without you. We've got a beat-up copy of Catcher floating around the apartment, and I can't stop picking it up, as always. Wish I had Franny and Zooey here. I'm itching to read it, for some reason, and even more so now that Salinger passed away. I wonder what will become of those unpublished novels. If he didn't want us reading them, more power to him, but if they came out, I'd be first in line.

--I went to Napoli this weekend. For someone who has studied Italian for a little while, I actually don't know much about Italy, so my imagination had superimposed the image of Naples, Florida onto the name of Naples, Italy. The city in Florida is a nice center of retirement for old people, where the houses are weird pastel colors and the grass is the same length everywhere. The city in southern Italy is a DUMP. We were so unprepared - we had booked the hotel the night before and only had a vague idea of where it was when we arrived, the man almost didn't let us stay at the hotel once we found it because we didn't have passports, we snapped the hotel key trying to open a bottle of wine. SUCH a mess, but we had so much fun in spite of that, or perhaps because of it. Next day, we wandered around, got lost over and over in this city which has trash and broken glass and needles and bad smells everywhere. It was so weird. You walk around and see ugliness like this everywhere:
But then you walk into a museum, and it's all

and

and

The juxtaposition is pretty weird.

--Saturday we took a train down to Pompeii. Totally checked that off my bucket list. Such a cool place. It feels almost like you're in a western or something. A dead city, but it feels full of ghosts, in a way. But again, totally unprepared, we wandered in, but somehow managed not to receive a map. And Pompeii is actually really big - so we're totally lost in these ruins that all eventually look the same, without any idea of where we were in relation to anything. It started to hail and thunder. So we're soaked, being pelted by ice chunks, running down the slippery streets of Pompeii praying to whatever gods are hanging around that we're heading for the entrance with the train station.

--Also, I thought Pompeii would have more dead PEOPLE in it, but apparently not - we only found one group. We also didn't have a map, though, so maybe we missed the rest.

--Don't get me wrong, though, we had a blast. I'd never taken a spontaneous trip before, without any real plan or structure or guide. It was all whim and what we could fit. And every day we came back exhausted and drank lots of wine and had the kind of conversation that doesn't bear repeating.

--I had a lot of random shit to talk about, but I'll save it for next time, if I remember.

Book Question Fun

2010-01-24T16:53:00.004-05:00

1) What author do you own the most books by?

Either Robert Jordan or Stephen King, I think. Actually, maybe Shakespeare, now that I think of it. I own a lot of Shakespeare that I haven't read, and I have read some to begin with. I can't count them right now, unfortunately.

2) What book do you own the most copies of?

Uh... I have three copies of Catcher in the Rye. I have owned many many copies of all the books in The Belgariad, but I didn't keep them. A lot of them split in half and lost covers and stuff.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?

No.

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?

Elizabeth Bennett. And Mr. Darcy. Ha.

5) What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children)?

The Belgariad. I literally read almost nothing else for fun until I was thirteen.

6) What was your favourite book when you were ten years old?

The Belgariad.

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?

I don't know. I can't think of any books that are "bad," per se. I hated The Blithedale Romance and absolutely could not make myself reread Moby Dick because I hate it so much. All Melville's novellas, too. But those aren't bad books, it's just personal. I wish I had my books in front of me...

8 ) What is the best book you've read in the past year?

Sheesh. I should have kept a list. In the past few weeks, it'd be East of Eden. I honestly don't remember what I read before a few months ago, though.

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?

I wouldn't. Find your own books to love.

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?

Who cares? It's a nice thing to win, but does that really actually matter? I also don't read enough non-English to know anything from other languages, and since they don't ever pick American authors anymore, I couldn't say.

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?

Hm... that's a good question. I've always wondered what someone good would do with Catcher in the Rye. But I think Salinger wouldn't let that happen, right?

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?

Oh, I don't know. I can think of some that shouldn't have been made into movies. I know that the movie version of IT infuriates me to no end.

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.

I can't think of one.

14) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?

I don't know what "low-brow" really means. I've read my fair share of garbage, of course.

15) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?

Moby Dick. In terms of finishing. I hate that book. It was such a struggle for me.

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?

I've only seen a couple. Most obscure one I've read is probably Titus Andronicus or something. I haven't read many, either, though. Maybe 12.

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?

I'm way lacking in both departments. I love Hunchback of Notre-Dame and I love a lot of Chekhov's short stories, but I haven't read any of the "big" stuff from either language - Les Mis, Song of Roland, War and Peace, Anna K, Crime and Punishment, etc. are all eternally on my list.

18 ) Roth or Updike?

Haven't read either.

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?

Only read a little David Sedaris, but I do like him. I haven't read David Eggers. Putting him on my Amazon wish list right now...

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?

I've actually never read The Canterbury Tales. I want to take a class on them next semester, though, to remedy that. I find Shakespeare and Milton both really difficult. (Well, I mean, duh.) I read Milton for fun a bit in high school (Paradise Lost and Regained, and a couple of his other poems), and I loved it and was very overwhelmed. Shakespeare I've studied, but I think I prefer Milton.

21) Austen or Eliot?

I'm only just reading Middlemarch right now. Probably Austen. The women in Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion are some of my favorite people in literature.

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?

I'm not really embarrassed about any of them. Chaucer's pretty bad, though. Somehow I got out of it in high school. And my college studies have only mostly been American literature, so far.

23) What is your favorite novel?

Too many.

24) Play?

I think it would be Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I didn't like it at first, but I did a paper on it and I was suddenly gripped by it. Actually, a tie with Playboy of the Western World. I love that play, as well.

25) Poem?

My poetry knowledge is still slim. It's gotten a bit better, but still slim. My favorite lines of poetry are from Robert Lowell's "Near the Ocean": O that the spirit could remain/tinged but untarnished by its strain! A lot of that poem is way over my head, though.

26) Essay?

Don't read essays. A Modest Proposal. Does that count? That's the only thing I can think of.

27) Short story?

A Perfect Day for Bananafish by Salinger (actually, a few from that collection), A Little Cloud by Joyce, and Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx. They all kill me and I've read them all a bazillion times over.

28) Work of nonfiction?

Helter Skelter. I cannot get enough of that book. I need to read more non-fiction.

29) Who is your favourite writer?

I don't really have an answer for that. In terms of writing, I love Salinger, McEwan, Austen, Nabokov, Susannah Clarke, lots of others. But in terms of my favorite storyteller, I have no answer. There are just too many.

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?

Dunno. I haven't read them all.

31) What is your desert island book?

It would probably be something by Salinger. Usually I would say IT or The Stand or something massive and sweeping, but I find Salinger to be the author whose books I open occasionally on a whim and find myself reading the whole thing in one sitting. More than anyone else, I can't stop reading him. I love his voice.

32) And… what are you reading right now?

Middlemarch. Put down Lonesome Dove but I'll pick it up again when I'm done with Middlemarch.

33) Last book read?

Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King.

34) Books you've been wanting to read but haven't gotten around to?

Le Morte D'Arthur, for sure. I've had it for like six years now, and haven't touched it since I bought it. It's too much. War and Peace, Anna K, Master and the Margarita, Les Mis. The Shipping News, I've read the first ten pages probably five times, but I can never get into it. I have 150 books waiting at home. It's sad how I can't stop buying them.

35) Is there a book you love that no one else seems to?

No one to whom I've given Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell has liked it much, at least not like I did.

36) What's the last book you stayed up all night to finish because you couldn't put it down?

Well, not because I couldn't put them down, I just wanted to finish, but I read Craig Ferguson's American on Purpose one night and Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, each basically in one sitting. I didn't love either of them, though, I was just crazily finishing as many books as possible before I came to Italy. Highly recommend Ferguson's novel, though, Between the Bridge and The River. It's so weird and so striking, absolutely fantastic.

37) Favorite villain from a novel?

Oh sheesh. I love Zandramas from The Mallorean. I don't think she's a very three dimensional villain, honestly, but the image of her, the way those points of light gradually develop and swirl under her skin, is one of the most unsettling things I think I've ever read. That nightmare question from earlier? That's the answer. I first read about her when I was eight or nine, and I had nightmares about that image. She made me uncomfortable to read about because she's just invaded, and she's left with no way out at all. If I remember right, she doesn't even know what those lights are for until the very end, which is even scarier to me. (Incidentally, those lights are the only plot hole in those beloved series which I've never been able to reconcile. They're still creepy, but the whole equality of light and dark until the Choice falls apart because of them. If all were equal, Garion should have had them too.)

Also: Pennywise from It, Cathy from East of Eden, Randall Flagg from The Stand, the Man with the Thistle-Down Hair from Jonathan Strange, Briony from Atonement. She totally counts.

38) Favorite characters ever?

How much time do you have?

39) Books that made you cry.

Amber Spyglass. I read it again every few years and I still cry.

40) When you were little, did people tease you about your reading habits?

Oh, sure. Still do. Some people actually seem straight-up offended by people who read for fun, which I never can understand. But, yeah, I never had many friends who read a lot, until college.

Random Italian Thoughts

2010-01-20T13:31:00.008-05:00

--I can't help but view this whole study-abroad experience as some grand, anthropological social experiment, in a couple different senses:

One, the group of us Americans (and one British girl) who are here, clumped together. There are fourteen of us. (Well, there are a lot more Americans in the "general" program, but there are fourteen of us in the "full-immersion program," which means we're here taking strictly Italian classes at a separate university from the rest of the Americans. So we're isolated, in that sense.) And this is going to sound so stupid, but it's like being on the fucking Real World. I mean - in the actual real world, at home, none of us would be friends, I don't think. Or very few of us. We're all so different, from different parts of the country, different backgrounds. But we're stuck together because of our nationality and what language we speak and the program we're in. It was like you'd expect at first, a huge herd all hanging out together and trying to speak remedial Italian together, all having brain-dead fun in a new place. And now it's splintering off, we're starting to realize that we might not all actually like each other, people are cliquing out. And I'm in it, sure, but from the outside looking in, I just think it's so fascinating. The way clusters are forming and sniping at each other, or just beginning to, the way we're already getting pissed off at each other. Well, not me, but some of the others.

Two, in a more personal sense. There are certain aspects of my personality that I hate. Like anyone, I'm sure. I just act certain ways and do certain things sometimes that I can't stand, but I've conditioned myself over time to act that way as a knee-jerk instinct. If you've ever read Dubliners by James Joyce, there's a story in there called "A Little Cloud," which covers pretty much everything I'm talking about. The guy in that story... Well, I cringe when I read it (but I've read it over and over for that very reason), because that guy, Little Chandler, is me. Everything I don't like about myself is in that story. It's crazy to me, honestly, like Joyce is pointing a finger at me on every page. So, anyway, I'm using this semester as, in a sense, a personal test, to see if I can actually get over that stuff, and so far, I'm doing pretty well. Might sound stupid, but traveling alone, navigating London's and Rome's airports and staying cool with delays and shit, I was proud of myself. That was a little step. And, plus, certain inhibitions naturally fall away when you don't really speak the native language very well, and when you meet people who you'll only really know for a few months. It's kind of like: well, fuck it, whatever.

--Classes here are kind of brutal. I'm in class so much. I think of my schedules back home and can't believe I ever bitched about them - Mondays right now, I'm in class for basically ten straight hours. Though, I guess, there isn't much work outside of class, comparatively. At least so far. And I've actually been keeping up with the Italian surprisingly well. I have a class on Italian cinema, and I can't understand about 80% of what the professor says, but other than that, it's been pretty smooth sailing.

--Actual communication in the real world is not quite the same. I have had moments of small victory. I managed to convey the idea of a pillow and a pillowcase to a store clerk without knowing either word, and she actually clapped her hands and patted me on the back when she understood what I meant. If the roles had been reversed, I would have looked at her like "Why the fuck didn't you just say pillowcase instead of 'the fabric thing that covers a pillow'?" The Italians are all really tolerant of our general idiocy, actually, which is nice. But then, when I order food, I NEVER know what to say, for some reason, and then I get flustered and forget to say please and look like the usual jackass American. I have no idea, in stores and stuff, whether I'm supposed to address them formally or not. One time I tried to say, "Yeah, we met two days ago," but actually said "two years ago," and the girl stared at me. I tried to buy a book today, and I think the woman was trying to offer me some sort of rewards card, but it all went over my head and I stood there like a dumb buffoon. She just smiled and said, "Ah, no." All of which I actually enjoy, in a sick way. That's how you learn.

--I've tried to take pictures, because some of the views around here are just breathtaking, but it's hard, because a camera can't really capture it. I take terrible pictures to begin with, it's been too cloudy, and since the view just goes on and on, you can't really get the effect in a picture. But, like:
Can you kind of see what I mean?

--Cultural blunders have ensued, of course. Apparently it is inappropriate to leave a window open here. Or so my Italian roommate told me. Unlike home, you have to weigh fruit yourself at the supermarket and get a sticker that gives the price. Which is kind of cool, but the girl who screwed that up and caused a scene kind of wished she knew beforehand. Apparently in this city you have to ask for salted bread, otherwise you get bread that tastes worse than the Eucharist at church. I still don't know what to do at the deli, but I finally found a grocery store that sells frozen meat, so that doesn't have to be a problem. (My mistake was hanging around the hippy, non-profit, co-op grocery store, which had comparatively no selection.)

--I've made friends with a girl from Belarus and kind of friends with a Turkish guy (who is hard to read sometimes). I went to Assisi this weekend, and the Belarusian (?) girl booked a trip to Venice with a few of us for Carnevale. I might be going to Sicily next weekend. I keep looking around and wondering whose life I've fallen in to.

--I've genuinely never liked alcohol, really, just on the basis of taste, and I never really got the whole college alcohol cultural experience. Probably just because I'm a little socially retarded. I've tried a little more here, and I still don't really like it. Beer, I just don't see any appeal in that. Red wine isn't my thing. Anything that hurts on the way down isn't really so great, to me. Mixed in stuff, the hard stuff's okay, I guess. But it's EXPENSIVE. And plus, I mean... all of it's fermented. Something about that... I don't know. That's weird to me. But they've got some white wine here that even I love. Oh shit, it's good.

--Part of me desperately wants me to experience the anti-Americanism that my grandparents talked to me endlessly about before I left. I keep envisioning how I'd react. Like, tearing off my jacket to reveal a red-white-and-blue Superman suit and waving a banner that says "LIVE FREE OR DIE!" Or something to that effect. But I've had none so far. A weird moment when a professor assumed that, because I'm American, my mother made a lot of fried chicken. And she thought that I thought pizza was born in America (obviously not true). Those were just puzzling to me. I don't think my mother's ever made fried chicken in her life.

--I also already have a little perspective on things that I want to change when I get home, and things that I want to continue doing. I mean - we have a clothesline at home. I don't always need to use the dryer. I'm back into the swing of reading a lot here, which I want to keep up. I'm not exercising here because I'm just not paying that much for a few months, but when I get home, I'm gonna get back on that horse in a serious way. I was doing so well with it throughout the fall semester and winter break, and I'm going to resume it. I want to learn to cook (perfect opportunity right now!) and eat better. I've been saying that for a while, but it feels serious now. Write more.

--I desperately miss American television. I can't watch 30 Rock or SNL or Parks and Recreation here. And GOD, I leave the country for one minute and all my late-night guys fall to pieces! In turns of humor, I like everyone out there (Letterman, Fallon, Ferguson, Kimmel, Chelsea Handler...) except Leno. His greatest crime is that he's from Andover, and my high school prejudices are still standing firm. But now I have even more reason not to like him. Team Conan! etc. etc. (Though Craig Ferguson is by far the funniest and most charming talk show host out there right now.)

--We don't have a TV in my apartment, so I don't know what Italian TV is like...

--In an unrelated note, I stumbled across a long-forgotten LiveJournal from one of my high school friends, and spent a long time reading it. It was hysterical. This girl, in high school, for the last two years, everything revolved around the night she lost her virginity, because it was so weird and she was so emotional and there was a fallout, kind of. Like, everything that happened to her afterward somehow reflected on that event. And you could so see it in her writing. She referenced it constantly without naming it. I was laughing my ass off. Thank God I scourged the Internet of old incarnations of my blogs. Rereading the crap I post here is painful enough. Imagine if my LiveJournal from when I was fifteen was still out there? Jesus Christ, how embarrassing that would be.

Today

2010-01-10T07:38:00.004-05:00

I did the following this morning:

--Rolled out of bed and up the street, passing by a line of Italian children, all wearing the same hats and singing the same song, moving in single-file. That language is never so beautiful, heart-breaking, or endearing as when spoken by children.

--Ate a croissant and had coffee with a bunch of girls at a restaurant, where the waiter schooled the English girl with us about which soccer (well, football) teams were best.

--Crossed paths with a Mexican guy from one of my classes. He does not speak English, I do not speak Spanish, and we had a full, pleasant conversation.

--Chased pigeons off a basketball court, and took pictures of a certain house, a now-notorious crime scene in this city and in the world.

--Took in the VIEW.

--Bought a Primo Levi book in a bookstore, and managed to fumble through the transaction without being rude or looking stupid.

--Almost been hit by crazy speeding mini-cars at every corner.

--Walked on cobblestones so much the back of my feet bled.

It's been five days and I don't think I've ever been so amazed on a moment-to-moment basis. This place is beautiful. So far, so so so good.

2009-12-22T09:17:00.004-05:00

Because of various exciting things that are happening within the next few weeks and months, I have absolutely no idea when I'll be able to update next. Could be next week, could be in May. Who knows. So just in case it isn't until May, I'm slapping this up here just to say I'm (hopefully) not dead and actually (hopefully) doing some really cool stuff, about which I will assuredly fill you in when it's all over. So, until then, I'll see you when I see you!

There's a lot of strange men in cell block ten

2009-12-14T20:16:00.004-05:00

--I have two followers on this blog who I don't know, which I've never noticed before. That's nice. I guess I'm not always screaming into a void, then?

--Actually, rereading some of the entries here and some that I've written in that dumb moleskine I bought, it's interesting to me what I'm willing to write there as opposed to what I'd write here. It's inverted from what I'd expect - I've written things here that have made me cringe later, but there, it's all just jotted down, factoids or lines of poetry I read that day or quotes from books. Sometimes stuff about life, but much more diluted. It's just a funny juxtaposition. Something in the difference between the expectation of it being read versus the fear of it being read, I think, and the weird combination of those that this blog and that journal both have.

--My grandmother wears a distinctive lotion or perfume or something that lingers on and on. If she sits in your car, the seat belt will exude that smell for weeks. If she hugs you, the smell won't go away even after you wash your clothes. It's not necessarily a bad smell, just strong. I must not have worn this shirt for a while - it just smells like my grandmother.

--Not to jinx it, but this is perhaps the most leisurely period of finals I've ever had. I have a drama final Thursday night and an Italian paper to do for whenever I leave, and that's it. Both had, what I thought, was a lot of reading, but I just finished all the Italian and have reread 5/8 plays. It's really nice - I've been getting up whenever I want, working out until I feel like stopping, eating, coming to the library after dinner and working until midnight or one. It's just ridiculously pleasant, and totally unexpected, since my midterms were hellish.

--I want to make these over break. I've seen that episode so many times, and while mousse is not, in general, my thing, something about that presentation makes me belligerently hungry.

--The only time I've actually made mousse was a chocolate mousse made in the Magic Bullet. There was a recipe for baby food next to the mousse recipe which was, "Throw whatever you want in there - your baby will love it!" My Magic Bullet went up in a plume of smoke long ago, but I've never forgotten that recipe.

--Just finished The World According to Garp. What do I feel about it? I can't name it. I liked it, of course, but that's too shallow, and I didn't love it, because that's too deep. Some of the characters in that book shook me up, though. The women, mostly. It's always the women, with me, I've noticed. Women draw me in - celebrities, sports, fictional characters, whatever. I have an extensive list of favorite actresses, comediennes, but absolutely no equivalent for men. And my favorite characters of all time list would have women all over the place. I wonder why that is. But, yeah, Jenny Fields, and Ellen James, and Helen, and Roberta. What individuals. The plot of the book lost me a bit, but the characters never ever did, which is more important to me, usually.

--This whole entry is a reward for having finished spell #7 again and poising myself to retackle Ma Rainey's Black Bottom. I'm sympathetic for the history of African-Americans, honestly, but does its dramatization have to be so incomprehensible (former) and boring (latter)? (I will admit that spell #7 was better this time through, though, now that I knew the point.)

--Saturday night I saw an all-male a cappella group do "Bad Romance" with full choreography. I tell you, it's a gay fever and it's sweeping the nation.

--I saw a guy standing on his hands and doing push-ups at the gym today. So crazy. People do the weirdest things at the gym. I sometimes want to ask them what the point of all this contortionist stuff is. Isn't there a more comfortable way to get jacked?

That is all.

Outside there's a boxcar waiting, outside the family stoooore

2009-12-05T22:39:00.006-05:00

--I have been an absolute hermit this weekend, shuffling from library to room to library, trying to reread as much Yeats and Synge and Heaney and others as possible, editing papers, dreaming of two weeks from now. I've gotten a ton done, which is good; I find progress, for me, is self-perpetuating. It's just getting started that's hard. And restarting, like I have to do right now. Hah.

--I have decided, on my third read-through, that the Widow Quin of Playboy of the Western World is one of my favorite characters of all-time. She's so devious, and she's always ready whenever the situation switches on her, trying to work things to her advantage.

--Does anyone remember the song "Summer Girls" by LFO? One-hit wonder, I think. Well, one time in high school, a group of us went to Hooters. It's a long story, and it was actually a really funny night, but anyway, it ended up with us receiving a homemade rap CD from this creepy white guy. The first song on the CD is set to the music of "Summer Girls," but the lyrics have been changed to be absolutely filthy. The first stanza is: "Last summer was a fucking blast/I got me some ass... That's right/*orgasm noises*/Last summer I had a whole bunch of chicks/All up on me, suckin' my dick/And I got the ride of my life on a girl last summer/She let me bum her." The song cuts off, suspiciously, halfway through, which is a darn shame, because, aside from its lyrical genius, it's really become one of my favorite things on my I-Pod, and it's the only one I have from the CD.

--There have been so many uncomfortable instances during my high school and college career that have begun with the words "we need to talk," that whenever anyone says them to me now, I want to run away screaming. It's almost unfair. I lead an unbelievably, deliberately boring life. I don't think I bring this on myself. Where are all these late night/early morning confessions coming from? Why are they never from someone I'd WANT to hear these things from? And why is there never any warning? I really am going to run away screaming next time. See how they like THAT.

--Word Reference is an awesome site if you need help with a foreign language. It's got a dictionary, plus a lot of examples in context, and a forum where you can ask native speakers for help. But oh, how funny this can become. I somehow found this thread, where Italian speakers try to figure out what the lyrics of the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" could mean. And then the English and Australians don't know either. They're all ponderous about it. So funny. This sentence kills me:

So "Get you love drunk off my hump." means she is trying to get him away from her hump, where hump means lump on the bootie (sorry if this is vulgar)?

--I've recently been trying to cut down on my meat consumption. Like, a little, once a day, max. Usually less. This leads to a lot of nuts and beans as substitutes. I've also been trying to eat tons of fruits and vegetables at every meal, and no desserts. This is a good thing, I think. But friends, can we broach the realm of Too-Much-Information for a moment? I am farting like you wouldn't believe. Relentlessly. And I'm truly comfortable with fartiness. I was raised in a farty environment. But this is shocking even to me.

--Thursday it was 62 degrees out. Friday it was 30 and snowed. O fickle world!

--Some girl I went to middle school with added me on Facebook a while ago. I'm so glad there's no way to know who's looking at your Facebook profile, because I'm bizarrely fascinated by her. She is leading the opposite life of mine, if I'm judging her statuses right (and she updates them twice an hour). She has a baby, but goes out constantly. She is always saying things like "i'm such a fuckin lady no need to be afraid." And she has reopened me to the world of kids I went to middle school with. The ones I'll think about occasionally and wonder, "Where is he?" They are all on this Facebook. It's like weird time travel.

--I still haven't been reading much, woe is me, but I can't wait until I have more time - I started John Irving's The World According to Garp. Only about 80 pages in and already in love with it. I'm so torn, though, because something is screaming at me to start Anna Karenina, too. Like it's going to go away if I don't START IT NOW.

--Misters Heaney and MacNeice are calling me. Adios.

The rest of y'all know where I'm lyrically at

2009-11-23T18:31:00.004-05:00

--The problem, I believe, with being a foreign language major, is that non-American teachers do not respect the sanctity of American holidays. One might think that Italians, being a culture in which food plays an important role, might understand the import of Thanksgiving, but not so! They don't understand that this is the time of year during which all I want to do is lie around and watch Ina Garten make things with cranberries and powdered sugar. Do I want to watch La traviata? No. Do I want to write about the roles of snails and butterflies in the poetry of Levi and Montale? NO NO NO. ALL I WANT TO DO IS DRINK A LOT OF WATER SO AS TO EXPAND THE CAPACITY OF MY STOMACH IN PREPARATION FOR THURSDAY.

--I'm genetically predisposed to a bunch of awful things, namely premature balding, high cholesterol, heart attack, and having feet of different sizes, but I think the worst of it all is my propensity toward sweating. It is a gift from my paternal side. My cousins have much commiserated. Once, one of them said, "Sometimes it'll be freezing out, and I'll just look at my armpits and ask them, 'Why are you sweating right now? Do you know how inappropriate that is?'" But my pores take the greatest delight in being at the gym. Oh ho. You know how you're constantly insecure and measuring yourself against everyone at the gym? Like, "I'm not working hard, but at least I'm working harder than THAT girl." Well, I am EVERYONE's barometer for sweat. People look at me and think, "I'm sweaty, but at least I'm not as sweaty as THAT guy." The only person who I've ever seen surpass me is my older brother, and I think that was only because he was wearing white at the time, which is such a no-no for people with our handicap. Well, that was true - until today! There was a guy on the bike next to me who was at least as sweaty as I was. Like, sopping, drenched, Hurricane Katrina sweaty. I was delighted. Like seeing a unicorn!

--I did not understand until this point, but I believe I have succumbed to the gay fever that is Lady Gaga. I mean, yeah yeah, her songs are all right. But this music video is so mesmerizingly weird. I love the KKK-meets-Where the Wild Things Are costumes, the fact that her eyes are so BIG and her backbone so PROMINENT, that she can even walk in that gold outfit, the fact that she interpreted her own lyrics into a kind of futuristic sex-trafficking scenario and that at one point she is wearing a polar bear. That's the mark of an ARTIST, my friends.

--While we're sharing videos, my idiot younger brother sent me this one, which made me laugh. After 300 views I realized it's probably staged, but I'm fine with that.

--The other day I said, "It wasn't supposed to rain today," and it struck me how incredibly arrogant that statement is. Like the weather is supposed to bend to my will.

--Vague paragraph to follow: I've had one piece of paperwork looming over my head and stressing me out since the beginning of the semester, and things had finally fallen into place this weekend that I could go to the appropriate office, get this paper filled out, mail it to where it needs to go, and finally have peace of mind. I've been fixating on this piece of paper so much that I had the scenario envisioned in my head, of me sitting down with the adviser who would fill it out, of me addressing the envelope, putting this paper in with the rest of the papers that need to go, and mailing it all, of me wiping the sweat from my brow and the clouds opening up to the sun, birds singing, a spontaneous dance number, etc, etc. And I went to that appropriate office today, anticipating that all of this would happen. But when I got to the counter, the secretary looked at the paper and said, "Yeah, she'll fill it out and fax it." I can't explain how much this unnerved the OCD in me, because so much thought and so many phone calls have gone into this piece of paper that, to have someone else see it to its final destination, without me being SURE that it was going where it needs to go, rocked my spirit. I blinked at the secretary and literally said out loud, "What? I want to mail it." And then I covered my ass and fled the office, slightly red-faced. But I guess that's over?

--As an English major, I'm surrounded at all times by people with moleskine notebooks, and I always scoffed at them as being pretentious yuppy losers. But this poet that we'd been reading in my poetry class actually came to class a few weeks ago and gave a talk that made me dizzy with false confidence in my own writing ability, so I ran out and bought one of those stupid notebooks, as if I were going to pour out all my, you know, deep thoughts and shit into it. And twenty minutes later I realized I dropped $17 on a regular notebook whose only particularly noteworthy feature is an elastic band that holds it shut. I'm trying to use it as a journal, but most of the entries thus far have an undertone of, "You actually spent money on this?"

--My school, in an attempt to be green, has eschewed paper coffee cups completely. In return, they gave us all these metal water bottles to use for the same purpose. (Have I talked about this? These words look familiar as I type them.) Which, yeah, go school. Why do the easy thing and shut the lights off in the academic buildings at night, when you can inconvenience everyone by having them put their coffee in METAL water bottles that CONDUCT heat and then become MALFORMED because of how hot the beverage is. Solid.

--I guess I'll go write my paper about snails and butterflies now. Happy Thanksgiving and stuff.

November 7

2009-11-07T14:56:00.004-05:00

--On my way to the library (where I am right now) I passed a real live Quidditch tournament. Obviously not in the air, but hula-hoops on giant sticks, a kid with a tennis ball strapped to his ass (who I assume was the snitch), and people running around with brooms between their legs. It was, simply, mesmerizing. I really wanted to see the Beaters in action, so hopefully it's still going on when I leave.

--The university just opened this glorious new rec-center. Three floors of FITNESS. Weight machines like I've never seen, a suspended track, huuuge basketball court, etc. Thank God, because I can finally ditch swimming altogether. I don't know why - probably just how busy this semester's been - but I could NOT make myself go to the pool. I would have three-day spurts of going and working like a madman, but totally dive-bomb. I was getting incredibly creative (for me) with my sets trying to keep it moderately interesting, but no dice. So I'm in horrendous shape, and I went to the new rec-center this morning and biked for an hour on a heinous hill program at a level that was evidently too high for my current condition, since, afterward, I wobbled my way back to my room and ate a plateful of bad decisions so as to render that hour absolutely meaningless, calorie-wise. Ah, fitness.

--Saw a horrendous rendition of Romeo and Juliet the other day. So so bad. Indescribably bad. It was a professional company, I guess, too. And it was so uncomfortable because the actors were bad, their interpretation was so uncomfortable for everyone, but they wanted to create an "authentic feel" by leaving the lights on the whole time and working the action into the audience. The badness just radiated through the whole endless thing. There's a guy in our English department who, I guess, is a foremost Shakespeare scholar, and he made a speech before it started. I watched him as the play was ending, and he looked nauseous. I wanted to high-five him.

--I read this sentence on a swimming site today: "the Emerald Isle has had more than its fair share of sex perverts on the deck."

--I have so little time to read these days! I usually eat breakfast by myself before class, and that's been really the only substantial book time I've been getting. (The Gathering Storm was a huge exception. I pretty much cut out the world for two days for that book.) It took me a week to read a James Bond novel, which, if you've never seen them, are tiny. I resumed Love and War, which I put down a long, long time ago, and it's probably going to take forever to finish. (Plus, I'm only 75% sure of what's going on.) Kind of a bummer.

--In that vein, in a conversation the other day, the movies Stardust, The Green Mile, The Princess Bride, and Gone With the Wind were all brought up, and I had to be that guy that said, "No, I've only read the book" for every single one. I have seen a little of all of them, but not the whole things.

--It's Thanksgiving season for Food Network. Who's excited?

--Oh my God, please watch this with me, while we're on that subject. And this. HA, they construed "Semi-Homemade" into porn. The internet is so fun.

Books: The Gathering Storm

2009-11-03T22:11:00.005-05:00

Long wait, well worth it. First off, it was so fun to carry this around and randomly get recognition from people across campus, like there was a small group of us scattered around the school who were all diving in at once. My roommate read most of these books a long time ago, but stopped. One day at breakfast he said something about Lews Therin, and a guy at the next table turned completely around and hollered, "I CAN'T GET IT UNTIL NEXT WEEKEND, STOP TALKING ABOUT LEWS THERIN."

I think this might be my favorite Wheel of Time book, too. Things that I loved (spoilers abound):

--Egwene's all-around badassery. Not many people seem to like her, but God, Egwene has been probably my favorite character in the series since she was introduced, and to see her come into her OWN here was so great. That Battle of Hogwarts-esque fending off of the Seanchan was just wonderful. Stilling and executing Sheriam, raising Silviana to Keeper. Such good stuff.

--Cadsuane spanking Semirhage. Need I say more?

--VERIN. I knew SOMETHING was coming with her because I spoiled myself a bit, but I genuinely teared up at the big reveal. That weird little old lady was, all along, the bravest person in these books.

--The "Veins of Gold" chapter. That, I thought, was beautifully done. A common sentiment in fantasy, and in literature period, that love is the reason to keep going, but Sanderson just got it, the "What's the POINT?" raging, and Rand's realization.

--I think Brandon NAILED Aviendha. Her points of view were great, and I'm really interested to see what she finds out in Rhuidean.

--Min is clearly going to have some role in figuring out what Rand needs to do at the Last Battle. I'm glad her role has been expanded beyond flourishing knives and boning Rand.

--Faile, I thought, became much more likeable.

--Graendal's death was appropriate, because she would never have stayed to duel it out with Rand, but a huge part of me wants to believe she's still alive. I think she's too smart for even mass-balefire.

--Siuan, awwwww.

I thought Perrin's chapters were useless, but I can't stand that character. Every time I got to a Mat POV my mind screamed "GO TO THE TOWER OF GHENJEI MOIRAINE NEEDS YOU!" But alas, not to be! Mat was definitely different in this book, but I didn't mind. I liked Mat before, and his sense of humor's kind of different now, but he's still a good character. He seemed a little wittier now. Though, I must say, that "saidared it" line was jarring, and I remember staring at it for a few seconds, not able to decide how I felt about it.

I also wish Cyndane had made an appearance, since that is the one plotline of this series that I want solved more than anything else. I understand that she didn't appear, though, as poor Lanfear has been relegated to the sidelines.

All in all, much much much less to complain about than to praise. Huge plotlines resolved, and we're definitely moving toward the Last Battle, FINALLY. I think Brandon did Mr. Jordan proud!

MoRe Of ThE sAmE!

2009-10-19T21:22:00.006-04:00

--Facebook is so depressing lately. My whole news-feed looks like this:

Where the hell are all these sad ugly animals coming from, and why are they ALL unable to find a home? And, really, that duck should just kill itself, because no one is taking in a duck with teeth. Birds are scary enough already.

--January 6, January 6, January 6, January 6! Say it with me, people! I won't tell you what it is, since I should maintain at least that modicum of privacy on the internet, but GOD will it be good.

--You know how I-Tunes lets you share your library with other people on your network? I NEVER leave that on because of my fear of peer-judgment, but I turned it on over the weekend when I was home and forgot to shut it off. So when I was in the library Monday and went to shut my computer down, I got a memo that someone was logged into my I-Tunes Library. I can't stop thinking about it. Who was it? How long were they on there? What were they thinking? What were they listening to? I'm absolutely fascinated. I'm not kidding.

--On that note, I love when a song that you've had forever suddenly CLICKS. I've had the Folsom Prison Johnny Cash album since, oh, senior year of high school, I think, but I listened to "The Wall" at random the other day, and it just worked at that moment. My brain just liked it a lot, and I've kind of had it on nonstop loop since.

--Twitter is weird to me, because now I know which celebrities use correct grammar and which don't (cough Demi Moore), which is weird because it puts them at my level and I don't like that. Though Mindy Kaling's is really funny sometimes. But it's still weird because she has back-and-forths with Samantha Ronson. I don't know why that's so disconcerting to me.

--DID YOU HEAR that there have been stray copies of The Gathering Storm out there in the world? Like, people legitimately bought it before it was out, at a bookstore. I considered asking the store here whether they had it in stock, but I stopped because 1. I'm in there looking at the books so often (hahahaha) that they know me by face and 2. I'm pretty sure I've talked about Wheel of Time with one of the girls in there, so she'd know that I already knew it wasn't out yet. I can wait. I guess. I've pretty much stopped reading anything else. It better be good.

--The bad thing about apple season in New England is what all that fiber does to the system.

--It's been years, but I can't still decide how I feel about Mary J Blige's cover of U2's "One." Does anyone have thoughts? I'm willing to give it to her now because of her spot on 30 Rock ("My Mary J Blige foundation is celebrating its tenth year of searching for the Loch Ness Monster."), but that, to me, is one of those songs that shouldn't be touched. Like when Madonna did that cover of "American Pie." Blegh. How dare she!

--I need to decide whether law school or grad school are things that I really want to do, or if they're things I feel like I need to do. Can I get a job without doing those things? It seems that no one can get a job these days, so it's a level playing field, no matter what I've done, right? I'm really really sick of higher education. I'm not getting any smarter or more open-minded here. I'm just reading more and writing more. Which is great, don't get me wrong. But I'm not moving up, I'm moving outward, and I can do that on my own, at this point (well, for my English major. Italian's another story, of course, but that's secondary), because I WANT to do that, now. Which is what college is supposed to make you want, I guess, so mission accomplished, UMass. And the five-figure bills every year make me sick. Nothing is worth that much money. I went to an info session about getting a PhD in English lit, and the whole time I thought, "Why would ANYONE want that?" To put yourself in that much debt and kissing ass for eight years for... uncertainty of job security? Not getting to pick where you live, for the rest of your life? Nah. I'd much rather teach high school or something.

Lights at the end of the tunnel

2009-10-12T22:23:00.002-04:00

You know, the way look at life, I always kind of need little checkpoints along the way. I don't know if everyone else is like that, but I always have a date or an event or something that I'm looking forward to, even if life isn't terribly stressful at the present. But right now, when it IS, I've got a whole mess of things, big and small, that I'm inching my way toward. I've gotten to the point that I set a minimum task list for each day, like: you need to do this assignment and this paper, read this play and these essays and these poems, start thinking about this, set up that, go to this meeting and that appointment, mail in this form. And so, as all that washes over me, I've got the following points of relaxation to look forward to:

30 ROCK PREMIERE THURSDAY. I've got so much to do this week in particular that I might not even be able to watch it right away, but God, it will be good to have some Tina Fey back in my life. Hope it's funnier than SNL has been.
THE GATHERING STORM RELEASE: I was not excited when Knife of Dreams came out, I'll be honest. I was fairly disenchanted with the Wheel of Time at that point. But having muscled my way through them again and loved it through and through, I could not be more excited. Sometimes I get so excited for books that are coming out that I can't focus on what I'm reading. It's so like that right now. I'm trying to read Villette and all I can think about is Egwene and the Seanchan.
SWIM MEET: The annual swimming showdown between my older brother's school and one that a few of my friends from home swim on. I might not go - have I mentioned that this is a busy month? But it's always a good time. Scary to think it's the last one!
THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS: As longtime readers know, I start thinking about these monumental holidays once September's over. I've already started. That Mariah Carey song, "All I Want for Christmas is You"? Yeah, broke that out already. Privately. It's too early to share this with the physical world. But still.
JANUARY 6, 2010. OH MY GOD.

Idiocy

2009-10-11T23:43:00.004-04:00

I have an Italian assignment to summarize a novel and then write an alternate ending for it. For some reason I perused my collection and chose Jane Eyre. (Dumb. I didn't realize how complicated that plot was until I had to summarize it in another language!) As I sat at my computer gnashing my teeth over what to do, my brother came to my aid:

He: What happens at the end of that book?

Me: Uh... the guy goes blind and she has a baby.

He: Okay, I got it, make the guy have a baby and the baby go blind.

Books: I'm Down

2009-10-07T10:20:00.006-04:00

Mishna Wolff's memoir about growing up as a white girl (or, as she puts it, "White white white white white white white white") whose father genuinely believes that he is black. The book jacket tries to pass it off as a story of not "quite fit[ting] in with the neighborhood kids" as a white girl in a black neighborhood, and then struggling to fit in again when she transfers to a preppy, almost-all white school. That's all in there, of course, but it's really about a father-daughter relationship, one that is particularly tempestuous.

The book was a little unbelievable at first, to me. She was writing about herself as a six-year old as if she were transcribing her six-year old's thoughts, but these weren't things a kid would think or say. I don't know, I can't find a great example, but in the first 30 pages or so, her thoughts kind of jarred with her age. It improves very steadily after that, though, once Wolff finds her footing, to an extent, among the black kids of her neighborhood. It's very funny, actually. I chuckled quite a few times as the book went on. Like, here, for instance, talking about how her prep-school gym teacher suddenly tries to bring in some "street":

He faced a class of elementary school students in a pair of shorts so short that the only reason his junk stayed in was because they were also skintight. His polyester shirt was half unbuttoned to show off his insanely hairy chest. His upper lip disappeared into his well-combed mustache as he described the break-dancing "moves" we would be working on. He almost drooled on himself as he pointed to three large poster boards, with step-by-step instructions on how to do the six-step, the backspin, and the worm. I could tell by his excitement that he was sure he was blowing our young minds in the only way a PE teacher can -- by bringing the street into our curriculum.

She writes about not fitting in very well, and for her, it's double-sided. She kind of straddles a line between acting "white" because of her school and "black" because of her upbringing, so she NEVER fits in ANYWHERE. She's also great in writing about maturity. You see things through her (kid's) lens so long that, at one particular moment, during a fight with her step-mother, when she finally sees things from another perspective, you're taken aback. At least I was. Like, oh, that crazy bitch actually has a POINT. There's a REASON she's a crazy bitch, sometimes. I felt her grow up in that moment.

But near the end, it actually touches on something that struck me. For a while she feels no sympathy for her rich friends because SHE knows what REAL problems are. (Poverty.) Your wealthy parents give you anything you ask for but don't spend much time with you? What's the big deal? You've got MONEY. But she eventually realizes, when she walks in on a girl cutting herself, that EVERYONE'S got problems. It's pondering: these people are materially SET; why are they so unhappy? Of course there's no answer, but it's an interesting thing to think about.

Easy read, and not bad. And, of course, the cover! Ahaha.

Despite the painful heat in her bottom

2009-09-27T12:41:00.005-04:00

-- I like what I'm doing, sure, but sometimes - well, all the time - I wish I could squeeze in a class that isn't English or Italian. I think that, say, a plant-science class or something would do wonders for breaking up my routine. I just feel like I'm waist-deep in the same thing, all the time. Too much! But it's been a damn good year, so far.

-- There was an advanced showing of Whip It last night, and though I wasn't terribly invested in seeing it, it featured both Kristen Wiig and Ellen Page, plus Juliette Lewis. So I was sold, because I love the former two so much, and I like the latter from that I Love the 80's show from VH1. And it wasn't great, but the theater was filled with just me, my friends, and a legitimate roller derby team (I KNOW), which made it much more enjoyable. We were also invited to a roller derby party and got free T-shirts that say, "BE YOUR OWN HERD" across a picture of a roller skate. I live for free t-shirts, so, a successful evening.

-- I'm nearly done Knife of Dreams, thank God; somehow I enjoyed Crossroads of Twilight more than I seem to be enjoying this one the second time around, though, I must say, the KoD chapter "Honey in the Tea" is my favorite chapter in the entire Wheel of Time, even more than the last chapter of Winter's Heart. I've read it twice already and I've only just gotten to it for real today. And then, I haven't gotten to the good parts in KoD, yet: Rand still has his hand, and Morgase hasn't done that thing with channeling the flag, yet. But really, the "bad books" (PoD, WH, CoT) were not bad at all this time around. In a way, I liked them more than the hugely sprawling middle books.

-- While I'm still in the spirit of reading long and complex things, I might try for War and Peace or Ulysses or Anna Karenina or something next. I should read I'm Down, since my sister wants it, but I won't see her for another month, so she can wait, I guess.

-- We're reading part of The Decameron in one of my Italian classes, and the word for wild boar came up, and someone asked what it meant. We're not allowed to explain things in English, so someone said "Come Pumba!" And my professor then told us that he GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL WITH THE MAN WHO IS THE VOICE OF PUMBA IN THE LION KING.

-- A thing I hate about college: the sinks and toilets on a Sunday morning. Someone last night shaved his head into the sink and then threw up on it. Really? Really? That's not even annoying to me because it's gross, so much as the sense of "Oh, someone else will clean that up" that people who do that kind of thing have. That drives me crazy. Clean up after yourself, d-bag.

-- Much to do! Have a good one.

HA

2009-09-12T17:12:00.002-04:00

Please look at the book I bought most recently. I do sometimes go into the bookstore and just grab one based on its cover, but none has ever pulled me to it quite like this one. My dad gave me and my sister a gift card, and we were wandering around trying to find a book (this was the day before I left for school). And all of a sudden she gasped and said, "THAT one."

I'm almost done with Wheel of Time for now, though I'm in Crossroads of Twilight which will undoubtedly take me forever. But I can't WAIT to see what's between those book covers!

Yawn

2009-08-18T20:40:00.002-04:00

--I've saved up nearly all the money I've made this summer, thinking I'd use it to pay my bill from school. I've got a nice scholarship, so my balance is never very big, but between fee increases and the shitty weather we had all June and into July, I couldn't quite make it by the date the bill was due, even with these killer fifty-five hour work weeks. So we took out a loan, and I bought myself a new computer. A cheap little black Dell Inspiron, nothing fancy, but I hope it'll last me through the end of college, at least. I didn't NEED it desperately, but my shitty Acer has been treading on thin ice since about the second I bought it, and there were about a dozen little things on it that needed fixing, so I figured I might as well get a new one now, while I can afford it. I'm gonna more-than recoup my losses between my last three paychecks, anyway.

--I, computer illiterate, somehow managed to transfer my I-Tunes to the new computer successfully, which I always thought was impossible or illegal or something. Admittedly, I used Apple's step-by-step guide, pictures and all, but still, I'm proud of myself.

--I started the prologue of Lord of Chaos and immediately got tired. I used to PLOW through these books when I was fourteen, but now I see the thickness and all the tiny print and the hundred-page prologues and I need to pop a caffeine pill before I can get moving. So took a temporary halt to read Craig Ferguson's Between The Bridge and the River, which was absolutely wonderful. I loved it. It was so witty, and random. I couldn't even really give a plot summary. Three totally different story lines which only lightly intersect in the middle and end of the book, but there was something wondrous about the whole book. I'm excited for his new book coming out next month, though I believe that's going to be autobiographical. Also read MacBeth over a couple nights, which I also really liked. I've never been crazy about Shakespeare because it's forcefed to you with the attitude of, "GROVEL, this is IMPORTANT LITERATURE." That kind of thing immediately turns me off, so when I read one on my own, of course, it was better, without that hanging over me. Can't decide whether I want to resume my Wheel of Time reread yet, or if I want something else first. I do want to read another James Bond novel or two soon...

--I bought new pillows! One of them smells bad, and I'm leery of that because its packaging was open at the store, but phew! Getting new mattresses and pillows and stuff, you never realize how bad your old one was until you get a new one. I'm sleeping fantastically these days.

--That's pretty much it. All I do all the time is work right now, so I've got nothing to post about. Cheers, and hope your life is more interesting than mine.

Wheel of Time Reread Thoughts

2009-08-10T22:39:00.004-04:00

--You know, I poke around a forum for A Song of Ice and Fire, and I was reading a thread today about the infamous Red Wedding scene, and how visceral and powerful people's reactions were to it. I started to remember how I felt exactly the same way, reading that scene, literally saying out loud, "No, no, no!" And I realized that I've let my views of both ASoIaF and Wheel of Time be colored, a bit. With the former, I'm irritated at George Martin, and so I become irritated at the books. With the latter, the books get so bad that I forgot how much I loved the earlier ones. I guess that was a long way of saying that I don't have to hate the WHOLE thing just because I hate Path of Daggers and Crossroads of Twilight, ya know? Or I can still like and read aSoIaF, whenever he chooses to put out the next book, without liking what's apparently going on in-process.

--Two thirds done with Fires of Heaven. Love it because there's NO PERRIN anywhere. I remember liking Perrin on my first read. This time around? I cannot stand him. I like Faile fine, and I like Berelain, who'll eventually tag along with him, but Perrin is so BORING. Nynaeve, Egwene, Elayne, anyone who can channel basically except Rand are all fine in my book. Mat's bearable. Thom and Moiraine are always fun to read - very much anticipating the showdown at the end of this book. One of my favorite scenes in anything, ever. I'm trying to remember, though - what happens to Juilin, later on? I know RJ never lets anyone just fall by the wayside, but I can't for the life of me remember where he goes.

--I want to see RJ's notes on the Old Tongue so badly. I don't know if he has an actual system to the language, or if he just glossed over it, but I try and try to see how certain things could be gramatically reconciled, and I just can't. How can Lanfear mean "Daughter of the Night" while Serenla means "stubborn daughter"? The only common factor is the "La," and since I assume that syllable would be nominative in both cases (or at least the same case), can you then have "nfear" as an independent word? I don't think so; can an n ever be followed by an f, in any language? Unless the "n" is inserted to make it phonetically pleasing, but what's wrong with "Lafear?" And in turn, if Car'a'carn means "chief of chiefs," then why is there no "a" in Daughter of the Night? I mean, I guess Car'a'carn could be partitive, or be more along the lines of "chief among chiefs," which could be the difference, but then what exactly does Tel'aran'rhiod mean? I put too much thought into this.

--I like it at this point of the series before everyone becomes a bumbling fool. That scene where Moghedien catches Nynaeve, and Birgitte takes her out, then Moghedien retaliates? I forgot how good that was. I started writing a post about the way I divide good WRITING and good STORYTELLING (went unfinished because it just trailed off), and that's a perfect example. I reread it all, and there's nothing there in the WRITING that I can pinpoint, but something about the way RJ crafted this series makes me hold my breath sometimes. It's just plain good storytelling. I can't wait until Egwene gets raised to Amyrlin in the next book, I LOOOOOVE that scene.

Post Apocalyptic Worlds

2009-08-04T00:13:00.003-04:00

--I said I would refrain from commenting further on Worlds, but now that it's over, a few things I want to say:

1. I am so sick of Michael Phelps and Bob Bowman. Phelps acts like a total prick at the end of his races, win (as in the 100 m butterfly against Cavic) or lose (as in the 200 freestyle against Paul Biedermann). He covered his ass in post-race interviews, but there is no excuse for acting like a graceless gorilla just because you out-touched someone in the butterfly, or because someone soundly destroyed you in a 200 freestyle. Cavic may have mouthed off, pre-race, but everything he said was legitimate. Bob Bowman can whine all he wants, but Michael Phelps had as much opportunity to race in a Jaked or an Arena as anyone else. He made himself into a martyr by donning a LZR and gave himself an excuse when he didn't perform up to expectations. He should take a leaf out of Elizabeth Beisel's book. The girl slid in for a bronze in the 200 m backstroke and her reaction couldn't have been classier. The sheer joy on her face, plus the fact that she immediately went to congratulate the winner - that's someone to look up to, even if she is only 16.

2. Women's 200 breaststroke shocker! I was rooting for Soni and Annamay Pierse, but Soni tanked it into fourth place and Pierse couldn't match her world record and had to settle for silver. Sheesh, that was a strange final. I wish Pierse could have gotten it, if not Soni; Canadians rarely ever act like pricks when they win races, and she, like Beisel, was so genuinely excited to get that world record.

--I'm sure there will be a few meets that will act like "last chances" to break world records in these awful cheater suits. I was thinking about which records will be the first to go, and which will stand, after the return to textile-only, and here are my guesses. All just speculation, of course:

Women:

Untouchable:

1. 200 IM: Considering it was a struggle to break 2:10 before 2007, a 2:06.15 will probably be like the Mt Everest of these records. I expect a lot of 2:08s, but I imagine it'll be tough to strike out past that, at least for a while.

2. 100 freestyle/100 backstroke/100 breaststroke: I think these three came down so much over the past two years (some within the past few weeks) that it'll be difficult to touch them again. Of the three, the 100 breast is likeliest to fall, given Rebecca Soni's sudden emergence in the sprint breast, and Leisel Jones's coming return. That 52.07 100 freestyle, I think, will stand a good long time.

3. 200 freestyle: I think that under 1:55 will be much more rare after this year, so a 1:52.98 will be very out of reach. Just speculation. You never know how the field will rise to the occasion, of course.

Breakable:

1. 200 backstroke/200 breaststroke: Neither of these two came down nearly as much as I expected, and I think a 2:04 is quite within reach for Coventry and Zueva in the backstroke, and a 2:19 for a number of girls in the breast. Plus, there's a lot of young talent out there now who, I'm sure, will quickly surpass what they've done in these suits.

2. 1500 freestyle: I don't know. It was untouchable for a long time, and while it stood up this meet, something tells me it's going to come under fire leading up to the next Olympics. It should be instated as an Olympic event, to make it even more interesting.

3. 100/200 butterfly: Maybe I'm wrong, since those were ridiculously fast swims, but something tells me Sjostrom won't be through for a while, and the way she came on like a freight train at the end of her 100 suggests that she might have a good 200 in her, as well.

Men:

Untouchable:

1. 400 IM: A 4:03 is just head and shoulders above the rest, and besides maybe Tyler Clary, I can't think of anyone who's really showing himself to be on the rise right now. I don't know the men's field very well, though.

2. 400 freestyle: It was a struggle to chop a hundredth off. Biedermann will be up there for a good while.

3. 100 backstroke: Too quick. I might be wrong, with Irie coming up (see below), but I don't know. A 51 is so fast.

Breakable:

1. 100/200 butterfly: Even though Ian Crocker's 50.40 stood up for a few years, I do expect that the talent pool out there now will be capable of surpassing at least that mark, and will probably dip under 50 soon enough. Michael Phelps is certainly capable of doing better in the 200 butterfly, I think.

2. 200 IM: Going down, no doubt in my mind. A duel between Phelps and Lochte will be cool to see again.

3. 200 backstroke: Ryosuke Irie, whose stroke is so reminiscent of Krisztina Egerszegi, will almost certainly get this. Even I could see things he could work on during his swim, and my knowledge is considerably more shallow than, oh, major coaches, so he'll likely be improving in the 200.

2009-07-28T22:17:00.003-04:00

I can't even recap Worlds anymore, this is so ridiculous. I'll just be repeating myself over and over. 2010 will be a great year for swimming, that's all this meet is proving.

WORLDS DAY TWO

2009-07-27T17:24:00.004-04:00

I read the results for this meet, and I find myself not very excited anymore. We all knew this meet would be a huge joke, time-wise. FINA made the biggest mistake imaginable in allowing these swimsuits to pass. But I don't think anyone expected this circus. World records fell last year with the LZR, sure, but they're being ANNIHILATED right now. It's embarrassing. Let's walk through this.

1. Women's 1500 freestyle prelims: Two women, Lotte Friis of Denmark and Kristel Kobrich Schimpl of Chile are both under 16 minutes, already. Now, this event is always dicey between prelims and finals. Sometimes people go off like bats of out hell in the prelims and absolutely bite it in finals. And, of course, out of all the events, it's easiest to cut chunks of time out of 1500 meters. But if this world record falls, I will be outraged. Kate Ziegler's record, when set, was ten seconds clear of anything that anyone had done since Janet Evans in the 1980s. A 15:58 should be a near-victory. Not a prelim swim.

2. Men's 100 breaststroke final: Australia's Brenton Rickard wins it in a world record 58.58. Under a minute in this event was a fair accomplishment in this event about, oh, two years ago. Not so much anymore, with everyone in the final at least a half-second under a minute, and the top four under 59. (Hugues Duboscq -58.64; Cameron van der Burgh - 58.95; Eric Shanteau- 58.98.) Now, these are all great swimmers, and the placing would likely have been the same or similar if they'd all been swimming naked, but these times are just ludicrous.

3. Women's 100 butterfly final: The next act up in the circus. Sarah Sjostrom lowered the world record again to win it, in a 56.06. Like I said, she's legitimately good, I'm sure, and she probably would have won or had a fair shot of winning no matter what they were all wearing here. Kids her age, girls especially, sometimes have spot-on meets where they do things that people half-again their age have struggled toward for their whole careers. But a 56.06? I don't know. Especially coupled with SEVEN OF THE TOP EIGHT DIPPING UNDER 56. Jessicah Schipper was in second in 56.23, China's Jiao Liuyang bronze in 56.86, plus Aurore Mongel in fourth with 56.89, and Gabriella Silva of Brazil and Dana Vollmer tying for fifth with 56.94s. Norway's Ingvild Snildal in seventh with a 56.96, and Marleen Veldhuis, who had previously been a 56.6, bit it in 57.79. Let's put it this way. All of the top seven of these women, most of whom competed in Beijing, put up times which would have EASILY won the silver medal at the Olympics. I mean, I'm glad Vollmer got the American record and everything, but really? Really? A post-Olympic year really should be SLOW, and a 56-second 100 butterfly should not be so commonplace as this. Next up?

4. Men's 100 backstroke semis: Aaron P misses the finals. Not a huge shock. He does have a tendency to take prelims and semis a little too slow. Lots of guys under 53 already, though, and while Aaron will likely be able to defend his 51 world record on the medley relay, it'll take a beating before then, I'm sure.

5. Women's 100 breaststroke semis: Ugh, this is so hard even to read, because I'm a real fan of Rebecca Soni, but come ON! Leisel Jones held the world record at 1:05.09 for a couple years, and she was just untouchable. No one else had ever dipped under 1:06 until this year. But now Rebecca Soni - who is extremely talented, I know - clocks a 1:04.84, not even in the finals. Plus another 1:05 and seven out of eight finalists qualifying in under 1:07. Guh.

6. Women's 100 backstroke semis: Again, Anastasia Zueva of Russia has proven herself to be a talented backstroker, but to go a 58.48 in the semi-finals is honestly just absurd. At the last World Championships, Laure M. broke the MINUTE barrier and was just the second woman to do so. Now, a 57 is likely needed to win, and a 58 to medal. Can we really progress so quickly? Hayley McGregory is the slowest qualifier for the final in 59.55. Like, really? Really? I remember when she broke a minute for the first time, and we were all shocked to have two women in one country who could do that. Snort. How times have changed.

7. Women's 200 IM finals: This is where it really gets ludicrous. Am I a fan of the US women? It's undeniable. Do I think Arianna Kukors is a great swimmer? Certainly, one of the best. Do I think she's been long overdue for a breakout? Oh, yeah. But this? ABSURD. She won the event in a 2:06.15. Let me see. In the 2007 Worlds, Katie Hoff won this in around 2:10 flat. The world record at the time, KNOWN to be set by a doper, was a 2:09.7, and while a bunch of women were flirting with it, no one could beat it. Then come the tech suits, and Stephanie Rice takes it down to a 2:08.9 at Olympic Trials, then to a 2:08.45 at the Olympics. And that was really a superb swim, unprecedented. But for anyone to take that down two and a half seconds is absurd. The top three women in this event all had to go at least a second faster than that 2:08.45 to MEDAL. It's nauseating. And the worst part is, we have no idea how much these swims are because of the swimmers, and how much are because of the suits. No clue. Arianna was so dominant that she almost certainly would have won and gotten the world record with or without the suit, but a 2:06 LOW? What the hell is that? When these suits are gone, will ANYONE be able to touch a 2:06.15? How long will these records stand?

This is just such a joke.

WORLDS DAY ONE

2009-07-26T21:52:00.003-04:00

I've got stuff to do, and this is old news because of the time difference, but quick comments!

(All this info comes from SwimmingWorld.com, though I'm rattling it from memory right now, so my apologies if any is incorrect.)

1. Men's 400 freestyle finals: Germany's Paul Biedermann won the men's 400 freestyle in 3:40.07, clipping a hundredth from Ian Thorpe's world record. Ous Mellouli, who was a favorite to win, I think, took the silver in 3:41.11, followed by Zhang Lin of China in 3:41.15. Everyone's all broken up about this one because of the suits, of course, as that world record should have held for decades and the suit certainly gave him a hundredth and yada yada. I totally agree, but I'm tired of reading those debates; FINA has made their bed, and we shall all snuggle up in it. These world records set at this meet will likely stand a long damn time come next year. We're going back to pre-2007 suits, even. Incidentally, PVK came in fourth with a 3:43.20. Bummer.

2. Women's 200 IM semi-finals: If you'll recall, Elizabeth Pelton, the 15-year old, actually qualified in the second spot at Nationals for this event, but she opted to scratch in favor of the backstrokes, finally giving an opportunity for Arianna Kukors to show her stuff on a big stage. Kukors wasted no time, setting a very quick American record, near world record, in the prelims, and all the buzz was whether she could match it again later. Well, hot DAMN could she ever. She absolutely destroyed the world record, clocking in at 2:07.03, down from Stephanie Rice's 2:08.45. That's so ridiculous, I love it. Talk about seizing the fucking day! Imagine what she could have done at the Olympics last summer if Natalie Coughlin hadn't shut her out at Trials. Looks like the final heat will be very fast, with Rice and others. Slowest qualifying time is a 2:10.08. From what I can gather, Julia Smit, whose American record Kukors broke, is out for finals. I can't find complete results anywhere, though...

3. Men's 50 butterfly semi-finals: The Spanish guy is in the lead but I don't know anything about this event, so NEXT.

4. Women's 400 freestyle finals: Italy's Federica Pellegrini made a spectacular debut at this meet, defending her world record, redeeming her fuck-up from the Olympics, and being the first woman under 4 minutes with a glorious crowning time of 3:59.15. Must have been cool in front of the home crowd, too! As much as the suits are a factor these days, that 4-minute barrier has stood up way longer than I, at least, expected. I thought for sure Laure Manaudou or Katie Hoff or SOMEONE would come knocking a few years ago. Great Britain took silver and bronze with Joanne Jackson and Rebecca Adlington at 4:00s, (--.60 and --.79, respectively). Awesome to see - GB women's swimming is really on the rise. Can't wait to see what those two do with the 800 and 4x200. Allison Schmitt, surprisingly, hung on for fourth in a near-American record of 4:02.51, which gives me great hope. The times were so SLOW at Nationals, but that kind of improvement over both her swim at Nationals and at last year's Olympic Trials gives hope for a better 200 free and some additional power on the 4x200. Kukors is on that relay, too, so our chances have shot up in my mind, what with Dana Vollmer also looking more than solid in the...

5. Women's 100 butterfly semi-finals: Christine Magnuson is surprisingly out, but, like I said, Dana Vollmer is doing well, setting a best time in the prelims and matching it in the semis. Would be cool to see her go sub-57, and even cooler to see her medal. She, of all people, deserves it. She'll be seeded third in the finals behind Schipper and the real story of this event: Sweden's Sarah Sjostrom. At fifteen, she broke the world record in this event with an awesome 56.44. Again, the suits are in play, but I think it's encouraging to see a fifteen year-old do it. Some kids choke under pressure (and she certainly still has finals to do that, if she wants), but some, like this chick has so far, LIGHT UP on their first big stage and produce monstrous swims. (She was at Euros, but that's not nearly this big.) To see a young person have a monumental best time is more legit, to me. That world record was begging to be shot down, and it has been. The suit question is a problem, though. If the suit is really aiding Sjostrom a lot, imagine the psychological effect after this year when she can't wear it anymore. What if she set her best time at this meet, at the age of fifteen, and can never match it again in a non-performance enhancing suit? That kind of stagnation has ruined a lot of high school swimmers that I personally know. I can't imagine how bad it would be to have that happen to the best swimmer of all time in that event.

6. Men's 400 freestyle relay final: UPSET. The US pulled out another chase-down victory over France, the heavy favorites. But this is really just because the French choked. Alain Bernard had a great split, but everyone else was kinda meh. Michael Phelps didn't do great on the lead-off, either, but Lochte and Nathan Adrian had extremely solid splits, and Adrian chased down the homestretch in a 46-high, which is good news for his individual swim coming up. Actually, Russia sneaked by France to get silver. Interesting developments! No world record, but Ceasar Cielo was close to the individual one in his lead off for Brazil (47.09).

7. Women's 400 freestyle relay final: The Netherlands keeps on chugging in this event, clipping the world record in 3:31.72. Some great splits by Kromowhatever and Veldhuis to keep the Dutch alive against Germany, especially Britta Steffen's insane 52.22 lead-off. Not only is that a 100 freestyle world record, that's also faster than the fastest relay split in history. AS A LEAD-OFF LEG. Ridiculous. That girl is legit. Germany got silver, Australia third. We took fourth, as Amanda Weir's lead-off and Dara Torres' middle were just not quick enough. Understandable, though; we're just hurting in the sprints right now. Dana Vollmer and Christine Magnuson did well, though, even coming off that 100 butterfly. Unfortunately, Magnuson's out of the medal hunt for the meet, but I guess she gets to enjoy Rome, now...

Buona sera, and will update domani.

Gross Things That Have Happened To Me Recently

2009-07-19T22:54:00.005-04:00

1. My entire family is away right now, so the dog has to sleep in my room. I'm okay with that, usually, but she gets really hot in the summer and is always looking to get near a fan or a pool or an air conditioner or whatever. Last night was really humid, so I slept with my head at the wrong end of the bed, because that's where the fan is. My dog apparently got the same idea, because I woke up with her next to me. The funny part? My dog sleeps on her back, with her legs wide open. I woke up with my nose millimeters from dog snatch.

2. I was eating a nectarine the other day. I got to the middle, and the pit was already broken open. Inside was a full-grown bug, which then flew away as I threw the pit on the ground and dry-heaved over a trash barrel. I suspect that I ate its eggs and/or mate.

3. I was innocently sitting in my lifeguard chair when a bird shit on my head. Like, full-on whitewash. They say that's good luck, but I think that's just to make you feel better after something shits on you.

4. In a similar vein, I was pumping gas into my car when a man on the other side of the pump bent down and - deliberately pointing at me, I believe - pumped an entirely different kind of gas.

5. I was innocently sitting in my lifeguard chair again, when a boy named John - a notorious patron 'round the guard office - came up and asked me whether I liked French fries. I said yes, and five seconds later he stuffed a small order of fries into the cup-holder of my chair. He came back a little later and dropped a handful of ketchup packets into my lap.

SWIMMING NATIONALS NIGHT FIVE

2009-07-11T21:47:00.004-04:00

1. 50 freestyle swim-off: Cullen Jones in an American record 21.41. Yeah yeah! He had an excellent start and breakout. Quicker than Nathan Adrian's swim, too. Cool. I'm happy for him. He missed out an Olympic individual event, so it's cool that he gets a chance at Worlds, though the competition is unbelievably stiff. Garrett Weber-Gale not happy with the outcome, judging by his Twitter. Too bad!

2. Women's 800 freestyle: Kate Ziegler's got swine flu, Katie Hoff's out, so two newbies in this event, though their times are going to be waaay slower than either Hoff's or Ziegler's. (Which gives little hope for an epic 800 battle ala Ziegler versus Manaudou, 2007, since no one can touch Adlington in this event; the big race will likely be in the 400 this year, with Jackson versus Adlington, and perhaps Pellegrini if she isn't disqualified or doesn't fuck it up.) Chloe Sutton, no surprise, won the 800 here. Time of 8:29.34. Not a fantastic time, but I doubt she's fully rested for this meet, considering that it was almost a certainty she'd make the 800. Hayley Anderson came in second in 8:31.66. Now, my question - who is swimming the women's 1500? These two? Can we give Kate Ziegler a ring, anyway? Sutton's got a tough double in the 400-800, a 1500 would be brutal on top of that.

3. Women's 100 freestyle: Natalie Coughlin's not swimming right now and Dara's out of this, so some fresh faces here. Likely Dana Vollmer will win... and... yup, Vollmer in a 54.00, Amanda Weir in 54.03. Aww, two comebacks! Plus Christine Magnuson and Julia Smit 54.36 and 54.38, respectively, followed by Kate Dwelly and Caitlin Geary in 54.72 and 54.73, to round out the relay pool. Interestingly, Kara Lynn Joyce and Lacey Nymeyer placed at the bottom of the heat, and both of them have been 100 free staples for a while now, at least in relays. Nymeyer made the 200, but KLJ is out for Rome. Too bad. That's a solid pile of girls, though. None of those times will challenge for the individual medals, but altogether would be a very solid relay, even without Dara's monster split.

4. Men's 200 backstroke: Aaron Peirsol broke the world record in this with a winning time of 1:53.08. Well, kind of. Ryosuke Irie has gone 1:52.86, but FINA won't recognize that because of the suit he was wearing. At this point, though, the swimsuit thing is a circus, anyway, you might as well throw that kid a bone. Peirsol's too scrappy to get beaten in Rome, I think, but Irie will be the backstroker on the rise after this. Ryan Lochte took second in 1:54.21. Also one to look out for. Should be a fun three-way race come next week. Four 1:54s or under in this heat, too - phew, that's quick. Too bad there's no 4x200 backstroke relay. We'd win, I think.

5. Women's 200 breaststroke: Again, this was the Rebecca Soni show from start to finish. She took it out in a ridiculous 1:06, I think faster than her silver-medal 100 swim at the Olympics. Couldn't quite bring it home and missed her world record by about 2/10s. What's interesting about her is that she's known for her bulldozer back-half, but her best races seem to be quick on the front and hanging in there in the second half. (I'm thinking of her Olympic win, plus her 200-yard American record, which she took out in a freakin' 59.) Keri Hehn in second with a 2:23.70. That's a very respectable time, as well. That could do well, now that Leisel Jones is out of the picture.

6. Men's 200 breaststroke: Eric Shanteau lowered the American record in prelims, then again tonight in finals with a final time of 2:08.01. Half of a second from the world record, too, which he could chase. That's great, great news - our breaststroke is suddenly very, very back. Adam Klein took second in 2:10.39. Don't know who that is.

7. Men's 1500 freestyle: Last event, and, honestly, I have no idea who these guys even are. Our best bets in this event (PVK, La Tourette, etc.) are simply not swimming it, or are swimming it at the World University Games. The second place guy didn't even meet the FINA cut, so our only competitor in this event will be Jackson Wilcox, who swam 15:11.98. A lot of young guys in this heat, though, which is a good thing for the future.

And so, the World team is:

WOMEN:
50 freestyle: Dara Torres, Amanda Weir
100 freestyle: Dana Vollmer, Amanda Weir
200 freestyle: Dana Vollmer, Allison Schmitt
400 freestyle: Allison Schmitt, Chloe Sutton
800 freestyle: Chloe Sutton, Hayley Anderson
100 backstroke: Hayley McGregory, Elizabeth Pelton
200 backstroke: Elizabeth Beisel, Elizabeth Pelton
100 breaststroke: Rebecca Soni, Kasey Carlson
200 breastroke: Rebecca Soni, Kerri Hehn
100 butterfly: Christine Magnuson, Dana Vollmer
200 butterfly: Kathleen Hersey, Mary Descenza
200 IM: Julia Smit, Elizabeth Pelton
400 IM: Elizabeth Beisel, Julia Smit

--There is a LOT of youth on this team, in several places. Sutton and Beisel each have two (three, for Sutton?) races apiece, while Pelton has three. Kathleen Hersey and Kasey Carlson aren't exactly old ladies, either. Dagny Knutson on the relay, too. That's good news for the future, though this team as a whole might not do as well as we historically have.

MEN:

50 freestyle: Nathan Adrian, Cullen Jones
100 freestyle: Nathan Adrian, Dave Walters
200 freestyle: Michael Phelps, Dave Walters
400 freestyle: Pete Vanderkaay, Dan Madwed
1500 freestyle: Jackson Wilcox
100 backstroke: Aaron Peirsol, Matt Grevers
200 backstroke: Aaron Peirsol, Ryan Lochte
100 breaststroke: Mark Gangloff, Eric Shanteau
200 breastroke: Eric Shanteau, Adam Klein
100 butterfly: Michael Phelps, Tyler McGill
200 butterfly: Michael Phelps, Tyler Clary
200 IM: Ryan Lochte, Eric Shanteau
400 IM: Ryan Lochte, Tyler Clary

--Yeah, whatever.